


Golden Rebel Heart

by fallfrovmgrace



Category: Karlie Kloss (Model), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Civil War, Declarations Of Love, Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Love, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-06-22 11:07:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19666228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallfrovmgrace/pseuds/fallfrovmgrace
Summary: The story of a woman whose rebel heart falls in love with another rebel heart.





	1. Chapter 1

Pradesh, India **.** Year 2020. The snow by the side of the gravel road is slowly beginning to melt under the fiery rays of the winter sun. A blonde tall girl sits by the window of a rusty and smelly bus, looking out at the endless woods beneath the crooked street. The folk music coming from the radio is enough to distract her from the little monkey sitting on the seat across hers, its little paws playing with a pearl necklace.

"Young girl," the man beside her speaks for the very first time, making the blonde woman turn around and face him. His eyes are delineated by wrinkles, the color of his skin is dark and his expression is neutral. He looks exhausted. "Passport," he says, nodding his head towards the blonde girl. Taylor takes out the visa from the pocket of her jeans and silently hands it to the man. He glances at it quickly, looking almost uninterested, and slips a bill between its pages before giving it back to its owner. Taylor puts it back inside her pocket, confused, but before she could thank his sweet gesture, the bus comes to a halt and she hears loud voices coming from outside.

"What is happening?" she asks, but the very same man lifts one of his hands and motions her to shut up. Taylor glances outside the window, spotting at least three men wearing the same black and red uniform. They're armed, and for one second Taylor fears the worst.

Three months ago, she got the news that her mother was involved in a car crash and unfortunately died. When the police reached out to her, they told Taylor that they had found a note in one of her mother's pockets. Taylor had thanked them for their service, and once alone in the loneliness of her New York City apartment, she had found the courage to open and read it. On the wrinkled paper, the ink that was staring back at her portrayed one simple wish: her mother was asking her to take her back to her _real_ home, the home where she grew up and loved and fought: Pradesh. She was asking her to take her ashes to the temple where Taylor's sister resided in. It was a simple wish, one that would cost her just a plane ticket and a week off work, but it had left an undeniable mark on Taylor's heart. A bloody and devastating civil war had begun ten years prior, and Taylor knew that it had started because of her father, a driven and determined man who only wanted what was best for his people. In 2010, he gave birth to a rebel movement, called the Golden Path, and within a few months, hundreds of people had started to believe in his words of wisdom. From what she knew, at that time, there had been bad blood between her father and the King of Pradesh, Pagan Min, whose dry sense of humor drove her father crazy. Each battle earned him more and more followers, supporters, more people who would die in order to get a little taste of freedom. However, with each battle, more innocent lives left this world for nothing, and what was once a winning rebel movement, it quickly became a failure. Everything turned down hill when its original leader fearlessly died on a mission, it being the conquest of one of the most important outposts. After her father's death, the Golden Path lost some of its persistence while Pagan Min reclaimed what was his. The dictator left the rebels with only a city, Banapur, and within two years reconquered the outposts that were once under their control. Taylor didn't know more than that, and nothing was said on the internet about this civil war in India. She wasn't even aware of the real reason why her father had started all of this. Was it a personal problem? Or was he just tired of Pagan Min's tyranny?

The loud and incessant voices outside bring her back to earth, as the driver of the bus is forced to get off the vehicle and talk to one of the soldiers. She attentively watches the scene, the man in the uniform not believing one thing that comes out of the driver's mouth as he harshly pushes him against the bus, aiming the tip of his weapon at his chest.

Unexpectedly, a woman and a man, who were crouched on the seats behind Taylor's, quickly get off the bus, holding their rifles close to their chests. The colors of their clothes were different: they don a light blue uniform marked with a golden logo on the back, combat boots and a yellow bandana. Taylor presumes they are the _Golden Path_ soldiers.

"Rebels!"

It's the last thing she hears before the silence is filled with the sound of incessant shots. Taylor covers her head with her arms and crouches, the glass of the window breaking as the soldiers shoot towards the bus. The woman in front of her lays on her back, the back of her head marked with blood, and the image makes Taylor gag as she closes her eyes and tries to erase it from her mind.

Quietly, she crawls towards the double doors on the back of the vehicle, and collapses to the ground when a grenade explodes right beside the bus and pushes it off the road. She hits her head and whimpers, but with all the strength she can muster she drags her body towards the nearby wall, its cobblestone protecting her from the bullets. When she touches her forehead, she sees blood on her fingertips, and grimaces at the disgusting smell of the hot liquid trailing down from her eyebrow. She grips the container that had her mother's ashes in it and waits for this to be all over. She knew coming here was a big mistake, but she loved her mother, and if there was one thing she wanted to do was to make her happy, even though she was already dead.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the shots halt, and she hears the sound of a body collapsing on the ground.

"That was the last one," the voice is female and it sounds like it comes from a really, _really_ young woman. Taylor hears footsteps approaching her and she can't help but whimper quietly. Would they hurt her or let her go? "Stand up," that same voice orders, but there's no authority in her tone. Her command is gentle and patient.

Taylor stands on trembling legs and keeps her head directed downwards. The only things she sees are the woman's bloodstained combat shoes and the tip of her rifle. "Look up,"

The blonde hesitantly lifts her eyes, meeting the soldier's hard ones. She swallows. "What is your name, girl?" she notices that she's gentle and kind, not hostile and aggressive, and her accent is imperfect at the edges.

"Taylor," she replies quietly. The blonde woman looks around herself and sees that other soldiers are watching the scene unfold. She feels vulnerable and extremely exposed. She protectively wraps her arms around her chest and sighs.

"Where are you from?"

"I-I live in New York City but I came here because I need to take these-" trembling hands lift the container of her mother's ashes, "to a temple but I don't even know where that said temple is and I-I knew that there was a civil war going on here, but-"

"Hey, you're freaking out," the woman places her hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. She offers her a welcoming smile. Just when Taylor meets her gaze, she notices her jade green eyes and the small dimple carving her left cheek. "It's okay. It's over now, you don't need to worry," she says. "Me and my soldiers will take you to a safe place where you can stay, then we'll talk more about this, okay?"

Taylor nods. The tall woman, who still has to introduce herself, orders the others to take the American woman with them and bring her to Banapur. Taylor gets on a light technical car with four soldiers, sitting on the passenger seat as an olive-skinned man starts the vehicle and drives. He turns on the radio and once again, folk music accompanies the sound of the wheels rattling along the gravel road. She fiddles with her still shaky fingers, looking down at them and pondering over what had just happened in front of her eyes.

"You okay, young girl?"

She lifts her head and looks at the driver. His chestnut eyes friendly, understanding and sympathetic, as if he truly comprehends the blonde woman sitting beside him. Taylor gratefully nods and looks out the window, unable to stare at the soldier next to her. The container sitting on her hands suddenly feels very heavy, as if she's carrying a secret with her and is not able to tell it to anyone. The thoughts inside her head are so many that she can't seem to focus on them, she isn't able to read and understand them as they uncontrollably swirl around her mind. All of this is insane. The war, the rebel movements, that roadblock. She doesn't know who this Pagan Min is and she doesn't know if she wants to find out what he's like. Maybe that beautiful soldier will tell her more about the situation. She looked pretty young, but still she was the one giving away the orders. She was the one leading the soldiers that were currently bringing her to Banapur. Was the _Golden Path_ still alive? If so, who had taken her father's place? She gets the feeling that she will stay here in Pradesh more than just a week.

"We are here," the driver announces. They calmly get off the technical car and out of the four soldiers, the female one, who had been sitting on the rear of the vehicle, is the one who takes her to a secluded and quite big shanty. It's made of long logs, and as soon as they step inside, they are both engulfed by the strong smell of incense. There is a fireplace at the end of the room, and beside it sits an unmade bed, its red sheets contrasting with the dark color of the walls. At the left there is a wooden table where rupees lay next to an uncharged rifle. It's all very cozy but at the same time rustic and unrefined. It's nothing like New York City, and Taylor doesn't know how to feel about that.

"Chief?" the soldier calls out. Taylor realizes that they're not alone, as she finally spots the woman who had asked what her name was, just a few minutes ago. She is hunching over the table on the right, looking down at what seems a map of Pradesh. When she looks at the women standing on the doorway of her shanty, she welcomes them with a smile and tells the other soldier to leave them alone. A wave of anxiety washes over the American as the door shuts behind her back.

"Come. Take a seat," the tall soldier says calmly, sitting on a chair and motioning her to sit next to her. Taylor walks towards her and takes a seat beside the intimidating woman. "I'm sorry, I've just realized that I haven't told you my name yet," she chuckles, extending a hand out. "I'm Karlie Jai, leader of the rebel movement _Golden Path._ I'm sure you've heard about us if you were aware of this civil war,"

Taylor nods. "My father is the one who created this movement."

The soldier stares at her, bewildered. "You're Ajay Suri's daughter?"

"Yes," she lowers her head. She isn't particularly proud of what her father had done in the past. "I'm Taylor Suri, but I changed my surname as soon as I started living in New York. I'm Taylor Swift, now,"

Karlie nods, absorbing the new information. "I respected your father, a lot. He was a really good man. I was twenty six years old when he died on that mission. Everyone was devastated at that time. All our hopes and dreams had left with him, that day. Months and months passed until I volunteered to continue his movement. I was inspired by him, by his actions and his words. He said that Pagan Min wasn't enough, he was untrustworthy and too unfit to lead Pradesh. So I wanted to finish what he had started, and now I'm here, with his daughter sitting in front of me," she explains, finishing with a sigh.

"Why did he start this movement? Was there a particular reason behind his actions?"

"Apart from wanting to take Pagan Min's place, no, not that I'm aware of," Karlie replies. "Why?"

"I don't know," Taylor puts her head in her hands, looking away from the woman beside her. Nothing made sense to her. Her father wasn't impulsive, she knew that from her mother, but still, she had spent just two years in Pradesh with her mother, before she was sent to live with her grandmother in the USA. Something didn't feel right. A peaceful and quiet man like her father starting a civil war in his beloved country? Not possible.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?"

"I just-my father would never start a war. He was a good man, like you said, and he loved peace. I can't seem to understand why,"

"Maybe your mother lied about your father," Karlie proposes, bending and clasping her hands together.

"But why would she lie about him?"

The soldier looks hesitant. "Perhaps they were hiding something from you,"

"I..." Taylor trails off. "I've never met Ajay. I was sent in the USA to live with my grandmother when I was just two years old. I've only spent the first two years of my life with my mother until she came to New York City and lived her last months with me, and we're talking about this year. She told me what my father was like just a few months ago. I would have never known that there was a civil war here if it weren't for her. And then, out of the blue, she dies and leaves me with a note, asking if I could take her back to Pradesh, which I did of course," she says. Karlie listens to her every word, not interrupting her once. "But then I come here and-I don't even know how to grant her wish, honestly,"

"Where do you need to take her?" the chief asks her. Taylor meets her eyes.

"A temple called Ramish, I think,"

Karlie shakes her head and sighs, standing up. She starts pacing around the room, grabbing something from the table across the room. Her back is facing the sitting woman, who watches her attentively. "That temple is north, and the _Golden Path_ -" she humorlessly laughs, turning towards the American woman, "we only control this city. After your father died, Pagan Min took every outpost, every our accomplishment, back. He didn't reclaim Banapur because he felt bad. He pitied us,"

"I'm sorry," Taylor says, but she feels like Karlie doesn't need her compassion.

"Where we are now is south, that temple you just mentioned is probably inside the King's fortress," Karlie explains. The blonde's shoulders hunch over in defeat, already knowing what this means but asking it anyway.

"What does that mean?"

Karlie takes a moment. "It means that we have to beat him. You will never reach that place alone. The north is...it's-it's really fortified. Pagan's troops, the _Royal Army,_ are stronger and more determined there. You will get killed if you try to go to Pagan Min's fortress."

The reality of the situation tastes bittersweet on Taylor's tongue. She watches the other woman raise a cigarette to her mouth, light it up, and then exhale a cloud of smoke. Karlie wordlessly offers her a drag, but Taylor refuses it. They stay silent as the leader finishes her cigarette.

"Do you really want to bring your mother's ashes to Ramish?" Karlie asks after a while, standing against the side of the table as she crosses her arms behind her back. Taylor looks up at her, unsure of how to answer. She thinks about her love for her mother, even though neither of her parents had done a lot for her throughout their entire lives. They've just dropped her in the USA and then left as if they didn't even know their daughter. But then, her mother, unlike her father, came back. After everything, after almost twenty nine years, she came back to Taylor. She came back because she knew life was going to end soon, and therefore wanted to spend the time left with her daughter. That alone showed that her mother cared about her, and trusted her, since she has asked her such a simple yet complicated favor.

"Yes."

Karlie nodded and lowered her head. "There's one thing that you could do, then," she says quietly, readily meeting Taylor's perplexed stare. The leader clenches her jaw as the other woman's lips part slightly, trying to understand what Karlie was silently telling her through just her jade green eyes.

"What?" she asks, narrowing her eyes and completely turning her body towards the soldier.

"I can give you a house, here in Banapur, and I will give it to you for free. You don't need to pay. I can give you weapons, bullets, grenades and everything else. I will give you food, I will-"

"What are you-what are you trying to say to me?" Taylor stammers.

Karlie opens her mouth various times. She hesitantly says, "I'm saying that you need to _stay._ "

The first thing Taylor does upon hearing her answer is chuckle. She pinches the bridge of her nose, incredulous. She thought that she was going to stay here for three days, maximum a week, but here Karlie was, offering her a place to stay, offering her _weapons_ and bullets, and food. Here she was, asking her to stay and fight for a country that she couldn't even call it her homeland. "I can't-I can't stay, Karlie."

"Yes. Yes, you can," the leader affirms, detaching her body from the wooden table and moving closer to the blonde woman, who was still sitting on the chair. "We _need_ you. The people of Pradesh needs you. You are Ajay Suri's daughter, the leader of a hopeful population. They need you. You'll be the light in the midst of all this darkness."

"I can't stay and-and fix my father's mistakes. I can't-"

"I'm not asking you to fix his mistakes. I'm asking for _your_ help."

Taylor stands up, suddenly feeling very nauseous. She passes a shaky hand through her blonde tresses, saying with a humorless laugh, "I don't even know how to hold a gun, how can I help?"

Karlie presses her lips into a thin line. "I learned how to hold a weapon when I was only six years old, when my mother's life was in danger. You don't need a degree to become a soldier," she sounds convincing, but not enough. "There needs just a little bit of goodwill and hope."

Taylor stares at her before averting her gaze. Karlie's eyes were pleading, and Taylor hates saying no to people, especially if their intentions are good. "I-" she trails off, closing her hands into fists. She takes a deep steadying breath and purses her lips. "I need to think about this. I need to go."

And with that, she leaves the leader's shanty, feeling more heavier than before.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

She can't sleep. The heaviness within her heart is keeping her awake. At least she finds comfort in the moon's company, as its light filters through the window and caresses her calves and feet. The soft sound of the calm wind playing with the trees should lull her to a deep slumber, and for a moment, she forgets that there's a civil war going on outside. Everything seems so quiet and so peaceful. She turns her head towards the table a few meters away from the bed she is laying on, and looks at the container of her mother's ashes. The moon is kissing its sides, lighting up its silver color. She stares at her mother's death date, carved into the receptacle's front along with her name. _Ishwari Suri._ She sighs out loud, going back to watch the boring and dull ceiling of her shanty. Why was everything so complicated? Why was that damn temple so far away from her? She knew that the answer to all of her thoughts was one: to stay here and _help_ those people fight. But what if they wouldn't win? What if they're not strong enough to beat Pagan Min's troops? Hope wouldn't save them. It could help them, but it wouldn't let them win.

She sits up and rubs her hands against her face, taking a deep breath. Thirty one years old and here she is, obliged to take the decision that would change her entire life. If she stays, she could help win a war that's been going on since 2010 and then grant her mother's last wish. If she departs, she will feel guilty for leaving behind a country in desperate need of help. At this point she isn't even sure if she's able to leave the country, since there were so many roadblocks around the border. Her experience with them hadn't been wonderful at all, and for the time being, staying seems like the best option.

She gets up, puts some shoes on, and exits the shanty, wanting to get some fresh air. She quietly closes the door behind her, careful not to make any sound. An olive-skinned old man was sleeping against the wall of the smaller building in front of hers, a monkey reposing between its owner's arms. Taylor looks to her right and then to her left. Everything is peaceful, and when she looks up to the sky, the moon hangs high along with shining stars. Everyone is sleeping, and once again she forgets about the civil war. About the decision she has to make. About the rebel movements. Everything momentarily slips away from her mind as she begins walking on the pathway made of cobblestone. Banapur is probably the smallest town she's ever seen, with just twenty six shacks and two buildings that sold food, weapons, bullets, and everything that involved guns. It's situated against a mountain and it's divided in four sections. Karlie's shanty is at the top, and narrow stairs made of cobblestone connect each section to the others. Taylor walks towards the small balcony that faces the two sections beneath hers and stares at the peaceful and sleeping town. To her right, she sees endless amounts of woods and mountains, and she's sure that she spots the Himalayas on the horizon, its mountaintop covered with white snow. Smoke appears in between the forests, and Taylor presumes it is probably caused by the various outposts scattered all over Pradesh.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

Taylor startles as she looks behind her back, an olive-skinned man - who she presumes is a soldier, since he's wearing the light blue uniform and yellow bandana around his forehead - approaching her with a gentle smile. "Yeah," she replies, going back to stare at the nature to her right. She grips the stony wall of the balcony, aware of the other man's presence.

"Pradesh turns into something magical, at night," he says after a while. He stands beside the American, both of them admiring the same landscape. "With the moon and the stars hanging and protecting us from above, I believe that this country will be beautiful even during the day,"

There's hope and determination in his voice, a sparkle of confidence in his brown eyes. Taylor stares at the side of his face until she meets his gaze.

"Karlie told me who you are," he says slowly, quietly. "She told me you're Ajay's daughter and that you're here to grant Ishwari's wish," he continues. His tone is gentle and not accusatory. "She told me that you don't know if you want to stay here or leave."

"She told you everything," Taylor chuckles, shaking her head.

"Yeah," the soldier nods, giggling softly. "I'm Sanjay, by the way. I'm basically Karlie's right man," he introduces himself. The American shakes his offered hand and genuinely smiles.

"I've been thinking about my options all night. I couldn't sleep, so I came here to clear my mind," Taylor confesses. Sanjay nods and stays silent, pondering over his next words. He scratches the back of his head and passes a hand through his short raven hair. "I honestly don't know what to do," she whispers.

"I think you know what to do, you're just scared, you have every right to be," Sanjay affirms. He seems wise. "You're taking the decision that will determine the rest of your life, of course you don't know what to do. But I think that the answer is very clear,"

Taylor watches him silently. "I should stay," she says, and it almost sounds like a question.

Sanjay nods. "You should stay. You would make your mother very happy and I'm sure your father would be proud of you. You're being courageous and brave, not a coward and turning your back on us,"

The American takes a deep breath, feeling like the decision has already been made.

"I think you should tell your decision to Karlie tomorrow morning. She would be delighted if she knew you would stay,"

With that, Sanjay smiles and walks away from the overthinking woman, who, once she's alone, looks up at the moon and tries to calm her racing heart. 

🏞

  
Taylor stares at the leader's contracted back as she focuses on the target in front of her. The bow in Karlie's hands is small and made of wood, the arrow made of the same material apart from the tip, which is sharp and made of stone. She's hesitant as she approaches the woman, who still hasn't noticed her, but she clears her throat once Karlie has shot and lowered her weapon. The leader turns around at the unexpected sound and watches the American take tentative steps towards her. "Good morning,"

Karlie isn't wearing the usual light blue uniform, but rather an ivory strip covers her modest breasts, her abdomen on full display while black pants protect her from the winter cold.

Taylor tries not to let her eyes dip lower than her exposed collarbones as she greets the other woman. "I've made a decision," she announces. That completely surprises the leader, who puts down her bow on the nearby table.

They are in the section nearest the street, where there is a secluded part for the ones who want to practice and better their skills with weapons, such as guns and bows. The usual folk music coming from a shop nearby fills the silence, and Banapur seems like a peaceful city. Women are working on the field below the first section and the narrow pathways of the town are decorated with different stalls. It is a normal day, the sun is shining, and everything is calm for once.

"Well, I hope it's the one I was hoping for," Karlie jokes, stepping closer to the American. Taylor swallows.

"Yes," she offers her a tight smile. "I will stay,"

Upon hearing those three words, Karlie finally smiles. The intimidating features turn into angelic ones once her thin lips turn upwards, and the leader lowers her head to hide her grin.

"I'm glad you've decided to stay. It was really the best option you had," she affirms, crossing her arms over her midsection.

"Well, I'm a good person, and I hate to say no," Taylor confesses, letting out a breathless chuckle. "plus, I don't think I would have been able to forgive myself if I had decided to leave,"

"I know you're a good person," Karlie says with a smirk. "Eyes don't lie,"

Taylor was left speechless at that, not knowing how to answer. Was she really that transparent the day before when Karlie had pleaded her to stay?

"Again, I'm really happy that you'll stay," the leader repeats. "You will meet amazing people here,"

"I've met Sanjay last night," Taylor admits. "Well, technically this morning, but, well, we talked and he made me realize that I would have been stupid to leave. I thought about my decision all night, and now that I've finally accepted reality, I feel better, but I'm also a little scared."

Karlie sighs. "Wars _are_ scary. I bet that you've only studied them at school. Living them and reading about them is completely different, Taylor." The American ponders over her words and lowers her head. "Listen, I have the whole afternoon free, and you surely need to learn more about all of this-" she points around herself with her index finger. "do you want to come with me? I'll go hunting and maybe you can learn how to use one of this too," she strokes her hand against the wooden bow.

"Um, sure," Taylor quietly laughs. "I have nothing to do here, I would like to discover every little thing about this place,"

There's a sparkle within the leader's jade green eyes as she stares at the woman in front of her. Taylor awkwardly shifts under her intense gaze and quickly looks away.

"Perfect," she says. "Let me just pick up something to eat and then we'll go."

🏞

They sit against a banyan tree, the birds chirping above their heads as the leader hands her a small sandwich. They eat quietly, Taylor being the one to look around herself with amazed eyes while Karlie stays alert for any possible animal. The ground beneath them is dry and just a few blades of grass are scattered around them. Since it's winter, the trees have no leaves and the ones that have fallen throughout the previous months are strewed everywhere. 

  
"Do you like it?" Karlie asks after a while.

Taylor turns towards her with a small smile. "Oh, I've always loved nature," she replies.

The leader quietly chuckles. "I meant the sandwich. Do you like it?"

The American's cheeks turn into flames as a crimson red colors them. "Oh, um, yeah," she stammers embarrassedly. Karlie giggles at her awkwardness.

"I love nature, too," the leader affirms. "It reminds me of Pradesh before the civil war."

Taylor finishes her lunch and plays with the few tiny twigs around her crossed legs. The American looks up at the tall woman and smiles sympathetically. She wonders what this country was like before all of this happened. Before her father went and started all of this. "What was it like? Living here without the war, I mean,"

Karlie shrugs. "It was okay, I guess," she replies. "I've never been fond of the King. He's obviously a son of a bitch due to how he treats his people, but at least there were no wars. There were no...roadblocks. No soldiers of the _Royal Army_ going around and scaring everyone. No guns. No waking up at night because of the sound of the bombs in the distance. There was just calm and quietness. Just that," she sighs as she's reminded of a time that was too far away from her grasp. "and I loved that. I hate the war. It has taken away very important people from me and my friends' lives."

There's an underlying sadness to her voice, and the blonde hesitantly asks, "Who?"

Karlie looks up at her and lets the silence answer for her. Of course she wasn't going to unveil her personal life to someone who's been here for less than forty eight hours. "Some scars just need to be left in the dark and never open them again."

With that, the leader gets up and wraps her long fingers around the grip of her bow, meaning that the conversation was over and it was time to go hunting. Taylor gets on her feet as well, brushing back and forth her hands along her pants to get rid of the dirt. She follows the taller woman, who walks quietly and with her shoulders slightly hunched. The American mimics her posture and looks around herself. Both of them are alert, and when they reach an open and wide valley, Karlie finally spots a deer twenty five meters away from them. She instantly crouches, grabbing Taylor's arm as well to bring her down with her. She hands her weapon to the blonde woman, who hesitantly grips the bow with shaking hands. She's never held a bow before and surely has never practiced archery in her life. The American looks to her side, silently asking the leader to give her instructions.

"Aim at the animal. There's no rush," she instructors. "When the tip of your arrow will coincide with its head, then take a deep breath and try to feel its heart. When you'll be ready, count to three and then shoot,"

Taylor nods and gets into position, her index and middle finger trapping the arrow before pulling at the cord and widening it until her right hand touched the spot just below her jaw. She aligns the deer's head with the arrowhead and takes a deep breath, trying to stop her hands from shaking. The animal is quietly munching the green grass in front of them, unaware of its terrible fate as Taylor closes one eye and focuses on her prey. "Focus," Karlie whispers. And then, Taylor feels nothing but the deer's heart beating inside her ears. It's just her and the animal. Everything fades into nothing as she slowly counts to three before letting the arrow fly. In a second, the sharp tip of the arrow plunges into the animal's neck, making it fall to the ground with a tiny whimper. She hears Karlie let out a sigh of relief before she feels her hand on her shoulder blade, squeezing it lightly.

"Good job. You killed your first prey and you didn't even know how to use a bow," she jokes, getting to her full weight before signaling Taylor to follow her. The American smiles and, although she has just killed an innocent animal, she feels great. Soaring. "You earned yourself a good meal,"

The two crouch beside the dead deer and Karlie is the one to remove the bloodstained arrow. She puts it in her quiver, which loosely hangs by her waist, and examines the animal.

"It's a female and she probably weighs around eighty kilos," the leader states, patting the back of the deer. She then looks at Taylor with a glint in her eyes, as she adds, "You're full of surprises, aren't you?"

The American smiles and doesn't answer, wearing a smirk as she helps Karlie drag the dead animal towards the technical car parked on the nearby gravel street. They put the deer on the open back of the vehicle before getting inside. Karlie smiles at Taylor as the American sits on the passenger seat. However, the bliss of the moment is short lived as a bullet breaks the window that faces the back of the car. "Lower your head!" Karlie exclaims as she throws an arm out in order to protect the other girl. The leader looks at the rearview mirror and sees three men in red uniforms. "It's the fucking _Royal Army,_ " she mutters angrily. She glances at the girl beside her, and sees that she's holding the side of her head, frightened. "Stay down," she warns her before slipping out of the vehicle.

"Karlie!" Taylor exclaims, reaching out to stop her but being too late. The leader is already outside, aiming her assault rifle to the enemies.

"You are going to die here!" the American hears. Her breath ragged, she closes her eyes and waits for it to be all over. But today is not her lucky day. She feels like she has to do something, to pick up the gun hidden beneath the driver's seat and help the other woman. The sound of shoots don't stop, and when slightly lifting her head from her crouching position, she sees that Karlie is struggling, hiding behind the bumper of their vehicle and reloading her weapon. She has a small cut on her forehead, and that's when their eyes meet. The small amount of time that passes is enough for one of the Royal Army's soldiers to move forward and reach the door of the passenger's seat, throwing it open and pulling the American out of the vehicle.

"Bastard!" he says, pushing her to the ground. He was about to shoot her, but the sound that fills the silence doesn't come from his gun, but rather from Karlie's assault rifle, as the enemy collapses onto the street, lifeless. Taylor's back hurts as the leader grabs her underneath her shoulders and drags her behind the car.

"Are you okay?" she asks worriedly. The American nods, but still, a few tears stream down her cheeks involuntarily. "Don't move, okay?"

Taylor was about to nod when a man behind Karlie hits the leader on the back, making her gasp for air. The leader is immediately on her feet, punching the enemy on the face before shooting him on the abdomen. However, while she deals with that soldier, the last one quickly grabs the unarmed blonde and pulls her towards his chest. He aims his gun at her temple and Karlie swiftly turns around, gulping when seeing the critical scene before her eyes.

"Look who's here," the enemy snarls, Taylor's petite hands trying to get his filthy arms away from around her neck. "Ajay's daughter," he hisses against her ear and the American whimpers.

"Let her go," Karlie warns him, training her own gun at the Royal Army's last soldier. He smells like a smokestack and Taylor holds back a sob as she feels his body against her back. She pleads the tall woman with her eyes, but she still spots worry and fear within her jade green eyes. "I said, let her go!" she exclaims, sounding aggressive and angry. It's the first time she sees her that way, and she's sure it won't be the last.

The enemy sneers and whispers, "Make me,". He sounds amused and Taylor wants nothing more than push him away. She knows that Karlie won't shoot since she's probably afraid that she will hit Taylor rather than the soldier behind her, so the blonde American woman makes a split decision right there. Suddenly, she kicks the man between his legs with her foot, as hard as she can, and when his grip around her neck loosens a bit she's able to break free. She kneels on the ground, making it possible for Karlie to shoot at him without any problem. Taylor closes her eyes. A gunshot. A body that falls to the ground. And then silence.

"Taylor, are you injured? Are you okay?"

She feels Karlie's strong hands wrap around her forearms, pulling her off the street. When she's finally standing, she can't help but collapse into her arms, sobs uncontrollably escaping from her plump lips. She grips the woman's light blue uniform, tugging at it as she cries with her head in the crook of the leader's neck. Karlie, taken aback by the reaction, hesitantly hugs her back, her eyes still trained on the lifeless body in front of them. "It's okay. It's all over now," she whispers against her ear. "It's all over. You're okay. Everything's okay," she keeps on repeating these words, hoping to soothe some of the blonde's pain. She understands her. At that roadblock days ago, no one had dared to approach the American. However, today was different. She risked her life. She saw the Death and stared directly into its cruel eyes. Of course she was shocked. Of course she was crying. She wishes it could be different, because today had been a good day. She had killed her first deer and the smile that had lit up her face had been priceless. Taylor had been proud of herself. Proud because she had _made_ Karlie proud. The hunting session made them forget about everything, because everything looked so peaceful. So calm and quiet. This sudden attack from the Royal Army had been the cold water that made them realize that no, nothing was calm. Nothing was quiet and peaceful, because there was a civil war going on, and even going around the streets, even going beyond Banapur's borders, was dangerous. And that saddens Karlie, because a beautiful girl like Taylor doesn't deserve this type of worry, this type of stress or fear. She deserves all the happiness in the world, but by staying here, she willingly decided to give up all of that.

Karlie shakes her head and holds her a little bit tighter. She wishes someone had held her like this when her mother had died in front of her.

Minutes pass and finally, Taylor's cries turn into soft sniffles, until those sniffles turn into silence.

"Thank you," the American whispers, pulling away from their embrace. She looks up at her green eyes and smiles softly. "I'm probably embarrassing myself right now," she chuckles, wiping at her tear stained cheeks.

"No, you're not," Karlie says quietly. "It's okay to cry. Nothing about this war is funny. What you've just lived is awful, and I understand your tears."

The American nods gratefully. They stare at each other quietly, before Karlie clears her throat and says, "Let's go back to Banapur. Staying out here isn't safe anymore."  
  
  


🏞

  
There's a knock at her door, but the person doesn't wait for Taylor's invitation to come inside. The American looks up from her fingers and spots Karlie, the beautiful and wonderful Karlie, standing at the doorway of her shack. The seated blonde smiles and the leader moves forward. She doesn't make herself comfortable, as she stands in front of Taylor with a small grin upturning her thin lips. Her jade green eyes are shining and so, _so_ beautiful.

"Everyone is loving the deer," Karlie says quietly, placing her palm against the wooden table. Taylor smiles proudly upon hearing her statement. "You should come with me and join us. Everyone is gathered around the small bonfire that Sanjay built and eating the deer that _you've_ hunted today."

The American looks up at her with sparkling blue eyes, swallowing. She's still thinking about that scary encounter, and her hands still shake with worry, but nevertheless she agrees and follows the leader outside. The darkness of the early hours of the night engulf her, since the last thing she's seen was the bright light of the sun before she's sought refuge inside her shack. Karlie leads her towards the first section, where the tiny space had been used to build a fire. There were at least twenty civilians gathered around the cracking bonfire, and when they notice the American's presence, everyone grins and starts thanking her for the meal they were now eating and savoring.

" _Namaste,_ thank you, kind soul," an old lady grabs her hand and shakes it various times, her head lowering in gratitude. Taylor blushes, not knowing how to act, and Karlie laughs by her side, placing her hand on the small of her back and guiding her to an empty spot. When they sit side by side, Karlie's hand lingers on her waist, but only for a moment. The American doesn't know if it's the color's fire reflecting on her face, but Karlie's cheeks seem to be redder than usual.

"Karlie told me what happened today," the blonde turns to her left and spots Sanjay, the yellow bandana hanging around his neck loosely. He has a mischievous smirk plastered on his face, and Taylor awkwardly chuckles. "It was a really courageous action, honestly. You could have gotten killed if that man had been smarter,"

The American's lips turn into the phantom of a smile, almost unnoticeable. "Thank you. I'm trying really hard to get used to all of this," she admits, looking down at her own fidgeting hands. Sanjay and Karlie share a meaningful look.

"Don't worry, you _will_ get used to this," he smiles.

"What Sanjay says is true. And, I never expected that from you," the leader confesses with a chuckle.

"I _might_ be full of surprises," she says teasingly, grabbing a piece of cooked deer and munching on it quietly. Karlie raises her brow at her, a small smirk playing with her features. They share a laugh, and for a moment Taylor feels right at home. The warmth that the bonfire radiates, Karlie's bright and refreshing laugh filling her ears, and the scent of cooked deer. She momentarily forgets about the frightening happenings of that afternoon and listens to every civilian tell her their story. She particularly loves the story of an old couple, whose grandson became a soldier and is now part of the _Golden Path_ , telling her how they met years and years ago. After more than fifty years together, there's still love burning within both of their eyes, and various times, Taylor had lost herself looking at the way the husband was _lovingly_ gazing at his wife. They held hands the entire time, they shared their meals, and still slept on the same bed, cuddling as if they were teenagers. Taylor wishes she could find a love like that. A love that still makes her heart beat faster at just the sight of her partner. A love that tires her but excites her after years and years spent together. A love where even the smallest things are the most important ones. When her favorite couple gets up and says their goodbyes, Taylor hugs them tightly and lets them go to bed. She returns to her seat, a smile that wouldn't vanish soon still on her face as she looks around the coziness of her surroundings. She spends more time looking at the leader of the rebel movement, her hand moving around frantically as she told Sanjay and two other women the story of how she had once run away from a hungry bear without getting hurt. Her facial expression changes into a funny one, and the American finds herself laughing along despite not hearing what she was saying. When Karlie's eyes unexpectedly meet hers, Taylor blushes slightly at being caught staring but doesn't avert her gaze. The leader blinks various times, the laugh of her listeners serving as the background noise of the scene as her thin lips turn upwards in a shy and close lipped smile. When she turns around and begins speaking again, Taylor looks away, her blue eyes on the horizon.

Maybe Sanjay had been right. She could _really_ get used to all of this. Perhaps sooner than she thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

The following days, Karlie takes her to a secluded mountain to explain her the basis of an assault rifle and of a gun. How to hold them, how to aim, how and when to pull the trigger and how to not let the recoil get the best of you. Taylor turns out to be a really great student, learning quickly everything at an alarming pace. She was _really_ serious when she had said that she was full of surprises.

"Please, can we stop now? I'm tired," Taylor pleads, sitting down against the grass, exhausted. Karlie gives in to her request and sits down beside the American, who looks ahead of her, admiring the clear blue sky.

"I will give you a break just because you're really great," Karlie affirms. The shorter blonde smirks and places her weight on her propped up elbows. The leader mimics her position and they lay silently, the soft winter wind cold enough to cause goosebumps on their exposed calves.

"Do you want to play a game?" the American suddenly asks, turning and facing the other woman, who lifts her eyebrow skeptically. "It's called 21 questions. I don't know if you have it here in India, but basically I ask you a question, you answer, and then you'll ask me another question and then—"

"Of course we have it here in India," Karlie interrupts her. "It's called conversation,"

Taylor huffs and sits up, crossing her legs. She feigns annoyance, but an invisible smile betrays her. "Fine. Do you want to play with me or not?"

Karlie chuckles and copies her, sitting cross legged beside her. She shrugs. "Sure. You begin,"

"Okay," Taylor nods. She averts her eyes, pondering over what to say. The leader expectantly stares at her, the smile on her face gradually widening the more she gazes at the focused look on the American's face. "What's your favorite color?"

A laugh bubbles out of her thin lips, not expecting such a simple question. "I think...I have two favorite colors. I love these—" she points to her _Golden Path_ uniform. "They remind me of hope and strength. So, my answer is light blue and yellow. What about you?"

Taylor quietly laughs. "It's incredibly corny, but I love red. It's—" she embarrassedly covers her face with her hands. "I'm a romantic person and red reminds me of love," she blushes.

"That's okay," the leader shrugs with a soft grin. "I think there should be more love in the world."

Taylor tries to contain the huge smile that is threating to overcome her features but fails adorably. Nobody has ever found her passion for love _okay._ Everyone, especially back at school, had laughed at her for having such a creative mind. Love doesn't exist, they said. But Taylor has always thought that, like the light exists to compensate the darkness, love does the same with hate. Love _does_ exist. Is it rare? Possibly. But is it impossible to find? Taylor likes to think that everyone, sooner or later, finds love. Whether it's real, short lived or infinite, everyone will find someone to love who will love them back.

"Have you ever loved someone before?" Taylor asks, looking up at Karlie with bright and sincere blue eyes. The leader visibly stiffens, averting her gaze as soon as she finished the question. She exhales shakily and the blonde _knows_ from her reaction that she's hit a sensitive nerve for the other woman.

"Yes," she confirms, her eyes becoming unreadable and hard. She seems to ponder over something. Taylor stays silent and waits for her to continue the game. "You?"

"I've—I've loved before but..." she replies. "It never lasted,"

Karlie bites her bottom lip and looks down at her fingers playing with the grass. "I'm sorry,"

"It's okay. I'm over them now, it's not a big deal," she waves her hand off. "What is something that you've done that you wish you could undo?"

The leader looks up at the sky. "Before becoming the leader and before your father died, I had a small troop. Ajay gave it to me, and basically he gave me a task. To conquer as much as possible. Obviously, he meant the small outposts around Banapur," she explains. "Once, after receiving a serious attack from the _Royal Army,_ I had insisted we needed to counterattack and conquer one of Pagan Min's outposts. You know, to scare them. Turns out we weren't strong enough, and that day I lost someone—someone who was really important to me and I watched them die. I didn't do anything because I was like—glued to the ground, unable to move," she sighs. "I wish I had listened to my troop when they had said to me that they couldn't do it. But I was young and stubborn and did it anyway."

Taylor is silent as she watches the other woman build walls around her body in order to protect herself. When recounting her past, she has noticed that Karlie always seemed closed off. She always hunched her shoulders when usually she would hold her head high. Her usually bright and inviting jade green eyes would fill with an eerie darkness. Everyone here seemed to suffer from old wounds, wounds that don't want to close and heal.

"Karlie, I'm sor—"

She was about to apologize for upsetting her, but the radio inside the technical car goes off and a hurried and panicked voice calls out for their help. The leader immediately gets up, quickly opening the door and grabbing the small radio.

" _To all the rebels who are listening to me, Banapur is under attack! I repeat, Banapur is under attack! Whoever is nearby, please come and help us! We need all the help we can get!"_

The message is clear and Karlie doesn't even need to tell the American to get in the car because Taylor is already running to the other side and sitting on the passenger's seat. The leader collects their rifles and guns and starts the car, their heart thumping against both of their ribcages. The blonde is nervous, because although the happenings of a few days ago had been scary, she's afraid that this attack would be a lot more serious and dangerous than that. She doesn't know what they will see, they both don't know the gravity of the situation, but Karlie seems rather stressed as she drives as fast as possible through the gravel roads of Pradesh. Taylor keeps her mouth shut, her fingers trembling slightly by her side as she watches the leader grip the steering wheel until her knuckles turn white. There are wrinkles on her forehead as her eyes narrow considerably. The American doesn't know if she's still upset about their talk, about what they've talked or if she's worried about the attack.

However, when she was just about to assure that everything will be okay, Karlie suddenly halts the vehicle when a burning log falls from a nearby tree.

"Shit."

It's the first time she's heard her curse, but when she looks ahead of them, a blasphemy of her own escapes from her plump lips. "Oh, fuck,"

When that soldier had said that Banapur was under attack, he meant that it was literally _burning._ The few shacks on the first sections were already reduced to ashes. Taylor spots a few enemies armed with molotovs.

"Don't you dare move, stay here," Karlie orders, picking up the rifle from between their seats and getting off the vehicle. _Stay here?_ Taylor grips the handle of the door, not knowing what to do but also wanting to help. She watches Karlie run towards the disaster, the roofs of the other wooden houses burning down at an alarming pace. She spots more soldiers with red uniforms and less with light blue uniforms, and surely that's not something positive. She fights an internal battle with her courageous self and with the frightened one, and when she sees an assaulter beating up an innocent woman with his rifle, Taylor decides that she can't stay here and watch. _This could go terribly wrong,_ she thinks, but nevertheless she thrusts the door open and gets off the technical car, an assault rifle under her sweating arm. She was wearing a simple yellow shirt underneath a brown leather jacket, along with long jeans and combat boots. She runs as fast as she can towards the entrance of the small town, hitting the man with the back of her weapon. He stumbles, and when Taylor is face to face with the enemy, she yells to the woman, "RUN! NOW!"

The olive skinned civilian crawls until she's on her feet and runs away from the pair.

"Son of a bitch!" the Royal Army soldier exclaims, immediately hitting Taylor on the chest. She gasps, feeling pain shoot throughout all of her body, before she comes to her senses and remembers Karlie's lessons. She dodges his next punch, which was directed at her face, and unexpectedly grips his wrist, pushing him forwards and making him fall onto the dirty ground. Next thing she knows, she's aiming down at his forehead and letting the deafening sound of a gunshot fill their surroundings. She closes her eyes as soon as she pulls the trigger, and doesn't open them until she hears his whimpers turn into silence. He's dead. He isn't breathing. _I killed him._

Taylor's hands start quivering uncontrollably as she looks down at herself, her shoes stained with _his_ blood. Her bottom lip shakes and she takes a deep breath. _You can do this,_ she tells herself. When she hears another plead of help, she quickly climbs the stony and narrow stairs and ascends into the second section, looking left and right in order to find the person that needed her help. Turns out, it's a girl screaming from a shack in the fourth section, at the very top of Banapur. That house is burning, tongues of flames escaping from its windows. It's risky, and she knows that Karlie will be mad, but she does it anyway.

However, getting to the top isn't as easy as she thinks. Another assaulter, armed with the same weapon as hers, surprises her by appearing from behind a corner, immediately pushing her to the ground. She scratches the front of her leg with a debris, and she hisses from the pain, blood trailing down to her knee. When the enemy was about to hit her with the back of his rifle, Taylor dodges his blow by rolling over on the ground. She grasps his ankle, making him stumble onto the ground. The American quickly straddles him and, without thinking, she punches him, _hard_ , before shooting him and killing him cruelly. His blood finishes on her chest, as his last words echo between them, "My brothers will come for you, Suri..."

His eyes lose the spark as his soul leaves this world. She doesn't have the time to think about what he has just said, because then another bomb goes off and the ground shakes lightly. It comes from the top. _The girl,_ she remembers. Taylor quickly gets off of him and continues her ascent to the fourth section. Along the way, she knocks out two other assaulters and a soldier armed with molotovs. When she spots the shack that she was looking for, she goes to the back and searches for an entrance, but the flames are too hot and they scratch her skin hungrily. She hisses, covering her face as she finally sees a reachable window. With a plan in mind, she breaks it using the back of her assault rifle, and takes off her jacket in order to get rid of the few pieces of glass that delineated the window. She gets inside, coughing when the smoke succeeds on making its way into her lungs. She calls out for the girl, but when she hears nothing, she hunches her shoulders. The flames are making it impossible to keep her eyes open for more than a few seconds, but when Taylor finally spots a body at the right corner of the house, she immediately runs towards her before the shack completely burns down and crushes the both of them.

The American picks the girl up, holding her tightly against her chest as she quickly turns around and heads towards the broken window. Fortunately, they escape from the house before it explodes completely, and Taylor lays with her back towards it, covering the girl in her arms from any possible hurtful piece of wood.

The explosion is the last thing she hears before everything falls into an eerie silence.

"It's over now, don't worry. It's over," she reassures the little child in her arms. She has dark hair and eyes of the same color, and she's scared, tugging at the American's shirt from time to time.

Taylor takes a deep breath, standing up on trembling and weak legs, the wound she had gotten a few moments ago stinging. She wobbles towards the stairs and makes her way to the second and main section, where she casually finds the mother of the girl in her arms. The two embrace tightly as the woman cries, and she was about to smile to them when suddenly a hand grabs her shoulder and turns her around.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

It's Karlie, and she's not surprised to hear her sound so mad. She deserves it. However, she doesn't let herself be intimidated by her hard stare as she replies just as harshly, "I wanted to help!"  
"You could have got killed! Are you fucking out of your mind?!"

The leader's ragged breath indicates that she's not mad. She's _furious._

"I saved that girl, I didn't do anything bad!" she exclaims. Karlie raises her index finger, telling her to shut up.

"Just—shut up. Don't talk,"

Taylor backs away from her as she looks around herself, the aftermath of the terrible attack finally settling in. The only traces left by the fire are the ashes, the tiny tongues of flames still alive but not harmful, and the dead people — soldiers and innocent civilians — scattered all over the place. Pain. That's what Banapur has turned into. Pain, pain, pain, and pain. She sees it everywhere. A now homeless old man crying the death of his wife. A young boy suffering the loss of his mother, laying lifeless between his slim and tiny arms. A monkey whimpering and resting its forehead against his dead owner's bloodstained chest.

Everyone is hurting. Everyone is suffering the loss of something that was once everything to them.

Taylor's lips quiver as she lets go of her assault rifle, the weapon falling to the ground and its sound accompanying the desperate cries of the people around her. She feels empty, hurting for a town that she's barely lived in for just a few days. She limps as she continues to back away from the scene. Taylor spots Sanjay, his arm bleeding as he holds another _Golden Path_ soldier in his arms, his eyes closed and a sorrowful expression overcoming his features. She sees Karlie, the usually bright Karlie, leaning against a stony wall, her head lowered and a hand coming up to cover her eyes. _She's hurting. They're hurting because of me. The Royal Army wouldn't have attacked Banapur if I weren't here. It's all my fault._ The leader holds back tears as she watches a piece of ash fall from the roof of the house she's leaning onto. _It's all my fault._

Taylor shamefully lowers her head, feeling guilt eat her alive as she can't bear the sight of a destroyed Banapur, a town that just the day before had been glowing with peace and happiness, but now seemed like the fire had taken everything away.


	4. Chapter 4

Taylor had been one of the few lucky people whose shack didn't burn down. One of the windows was broken, but she could bear with a little breeze since there were people who had to sleep in the cold now. _And it's because of me._ For the past three hours, a tiny and cruel voice has been reminding her that all of this was her fault. The attack, the people dying. Children losing their parents. Wives losing their husbands and vice versa. She was the reason behind all of this pain. She had caused all of this and the worst thing is that she doesn't even know how fix this.

She's about to treat the painful wound on her right thigh when suddenly the door opens quietly. She's laying on her bed, a few medications she had bought the day before scattered on her bedside table. Taylor is surprised to see Karlie standing at her doorstep, her arms crossed over her chest. When spotting the injured woman, the leader sighs loudly and closes the door behind her back. She quietly makes her way towards the bed, the American watching her every step as she holds her breath in anticipation. When Karlie stands beside her bed, Taylor stops moving and expectantly looks up at her. With another sigh, the leader sits beside her leg and takes the medication from her hands. The tall woman silently begins treating her open wound, firstly cleaning it from the excessive blood with alcohol. Taylor hisses, writhing and moving as Karlie firmly grips her thigh with her free hand.

The American blushes deeply when finally realizing that she's only wearing her underwear and a torn light blue shirt, and feeling the leader's long and thin fingers wrap around her naked flesh raises the invisible hair on the back of her neck.

"You don't have to do this," Taylor says through gritted teeth as she grasps the sheets beneath her. She whimpers, biting her bottom lip when Karlie finds and removes a tiny, almost invisible splinter.

"I wouldn't have to do this if you had listened to me today," the leader mutters.

She's breathing heavily by the time the tall girl wraps a clean bandage around her thigh, fully covering the long and deep cut. When she's finished, Karlie looks up at her and watches her for a whole minute, before shaking her head with pursed lips.

"You're so fucking stupid," she says matter of factly. Taylor lowers her head. "That woman told me that you saved her daughter today. She told me to thank you,"

The American glances up at her before embarrassedly averting her eyes.

"What you did today was risky, dangerous, and completely uncalled for," Karlie begins. "But it was also an act of bravery and goodwill. You were courageous enough to help the _Golden Path_ handle the attack even though you know nothing about wars and guns and all that shit. You decided to risk your life today, and it could have gone terribly wrong, but I'm glad it didn't."

Upon hearing her soft and calm voice, Taylor knows that Karlie isn't mad at her anymore. Perhaps she was a few hours ago, but now she seems almost grateful. "I wanted to help. I felt useless the small amount of time you left me alone in the car,"

"I know," Karlie says and, unexpectedly, grabs her hand, squeezing it in a reassuring way. "I'm glad you feel this way, because I want to see more of this bravery from you. You remind me of my young self, when I started fighting this war years and years ago. We're stubborn. We're fearless. We risk our life for others and we don't care about ourselves. We only care about others and we are hurting when we see other people suffer," she says quietly. "I saw you, today. After we succeeded on counterattacking. You were distraught. You were in pain because you saw _us_ in pain. And I think that's wonderful. I think that's beautiful,"

Taylor finally looks up at her and readily meets her soft and sincere gaze. "Thank you for understanding,"

Karlie smiles warmly at her before looking down at their still intertwined hands. She gets up, having nothing to say to the American woman, but then Taylor stops her by firmly grabbing her wrist.

"Do you—" the blonde swallows. "Do you know why they attacked us today? Do you think it's...because I'm here?"

The leader furrows her brows. "Why would that be a problem? You're not a threat to the _Royal Army._ "

"It's just—today I killed one of them, and before dying he said that his _brothers_ will come for _me_. And he knew my surname. He apparently recognized me. What does that mean?"

Karlie ponders for a moment. "Maybe Pagan knows that your presence will give the _Golden Path_ hope. Maybe he's afraid that thanks to you, the _Golden Path_ will become stronger and attempt to conquer Pradesh again,"

"But—how do I give the _Golden Path_ hope? I've just started using weapons, it's not like I'm an expert or a veteran,"

"You're Ajay Suri's daughter. You're the closest thing to him that we have right now. You obviously aren't aware of how much power you hold, right now," Karlie chuckles quietly. "There are soldiers, outside, that are alive because they saw you fight today. That gave them enough strength to fight back,"

Taylor stares at her, dumbfounded. "Really?" her voice is barely over a whisper.

Karlie smiles. "Really," she replies. "So, yes, maybe the _Royal Army_ attacked us today because they knew you were here, and yes, as scary as it sounds, maybe Pagan Min wants you dead, but I will train you. I will transmit to you everything I know, every skill I possess. You will become stronger and tougher and nothing will stop us. Not even that bastard of Pagan Min," there's determination in her voice and Taylor finds refuge in her tone. "We will beat him, Taylor. With you here, I'm sure that we will,"

The American has never been this trusted in her entire life, and she's surprised it doesn't make her feel stressed or pressured. It makes her feel alive. It makes her pulse accelerate but in the best way possible.

"Try to get some sleep, I will come and wake you up early tomorrow morning," Karlie affirms with a smirk, heading towards the door. Taylor nods and watches her go.

That night, she lays in her bed, falling into a deep slumber and dreaming of a thriving and flourishing Pradesh.

"You're doing it wrong. Don't bend your arm like that, you will only hurt yourself,"

Taylor sighs in a frustrated manner as she limply hangs her arms by her sides, defeated. She stares at Karlie, standing in front of her with an expectant gaze. For the past two weeks, the taller woman has been her trainer. She has learnt how to recklessly drive, something she didn't expect would come in handy. She has learnt how to disarm her enemy, how to use the attack as a defense, and at the moment she's trying to improve her skills in the hand-to-hand combat. Apparently, she's not doing a good job, since Karlie doesn't seem too happy with her movements.

"I'm tall and clumsy. I've always been awkward like this. I don't how to better my skills in this," Taylor complains, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't even have coordination. My brain and hands just don't want to collaborate," she adds quietly as an afterthought.

Karlie sighs and moves forwards until she's standing a few centimeters away from the struggling American. "I'll show you how. We'll do this slowly, alright? We have all afternoon,"

Taylor anxiously nods and watches Karlie walk and stand behind her body. "We'll start with the position of feet and legs," she says. With her own feet, the leader slightly pushes Taylor's forward. "Lightly bend your knees and slightly turn your body towards your right," the smaller blonde feels the other woman's hands grip her hips, guiding her movements as she follows with the instructions, "Now your hands. Bend your elbows and put the left hand in front of your face and the other in front of your throat. That way you will block your neck and your forehead and nose. If your enemy tries to hit you in these spots, you will easily block their blows,"

Taylor nods, doing as she's told. She sees Karlie's slightly larger and bigger hands wrap around her own as she instructs, "Now, the attack. While your left hand will give the punch to the part above his chest, your other hand will attack the lower part, in particular the abdomen. This way, you will easily make him gasp for air if you hit him around the ribs, where his lungs lay, and the punch to the face will disorient him. This way you will have some type of advantage over your enemy," she explains while she slowly moves Taylor's hands in the movements she's just described. "If he's still standing and alert, you will have to use your legs,"

Karlie moves away from behind her, now standing beside her, and Taylor immediately misses her warmth. "First, you bend your knee and then as hard as you can, you kick them. Always direct your kicks at his chest and abdomen area. Understood?"

The American nods, and when they practice what Karlie's just told her, the leader actually smiles when she notices that the blonde has got it right. "Good job," she smiles. "Practice makes perfect, but you will have plenty of time for that,"

Taylor grins up at her, delighted. "I really got it right?" Karlie nods. "Wow, I'm surprised with myself."

"Don't be, you're actually really great," Karlie states and, _is that a blush?,_ Taylor wonders. Her relationship with the leader has been kind of confusing for her. A moment before, the woman is gentle and kind and seems actually fond of the American, however, a moment later she seems the opposite. She gets angry easily, she yells, and she becomes unbearable. The more time passes, the more Taylor finds herself admiring Karlie's strength and particular features. The leader had told her that, like Taylor herself, she's not completely Indian. American blood still flows in both of their veins. It's just that, while Karlie was born in the USA and then moved to India with her father, Taylor was born in India and then moved to the USA to live with her grandmother. Both of their parents had Indian names, but their grandparents were Americans who later moved to India. That explained why Karlie's eyes were different from, for example, Sanjay's, and why they were more similar to Taylor's.

"Come on, let's go back to Banapur. Tomorrow is a big day," Karlie announces, tracing her fingers along the small of Taylor's back as they head towards the technical car parked a few feet away. She doesn't know how it happened or what made her feel this way, but Taylor likes Karlie. The leader fascinates her in more ways than one and the American feels like there's some type of special connection between them, whether it's just friendship or something more. She's never met someone so passionate, so driven and so courageous in her life. Someone who, just at twenty nine years old, decides to throw everything away and put themselves in a position full of responsibilities and danger. Karlie's personality is just so beautiful, so captivating that most of the time she finds herself smiling at _just_ the thought of the taller woman. Her _tiny_ crush for the leader of the _Golden Path_ is still at a manageable level, where she just has to control her blushing cheeks whenever she grazes her arm or back and has to bite her lip and keep herself from smiling too wide whenever someone mentions her name. On the other hand, Karlie seems a private and pretty unavailable person. She knows for a fact that she doesn't have a partner, but she isn't sure if she sways _that_ way. Plus, she seems to stiffen whenever love is mentioned, and although Taylor has spent almost every day with her, she still doesn't know much about her past. She knows her origins, she knows how she became the leader, but still it wasn't enough. Perhaps she didn't trust Taylor? The American likes to think that it's just her being closed off and private.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

Tomorrow. A few days ago, the leader and her soldiers have decided to plan a counterattack: conquer the Khilana Bazaar, the outpost closest to Banapur. There are barely more than a few buildings on the roadside, but it's the action that counts. The fact that they attack Pagan Min's soldiers and try to advance towards at least the bridge that divides the country in two. The fact that burning and attacking Banapur hasn't let them down but has given them strength instead.

"No," Taylor replies sincerely. She looks at Karlie, whose gaze is trained on the road before them as she drives them back to Banapur. "You?"

"No," the leader smiles, the hint of excitement underneath her tone. The American's mouth widens slightly at that. If Karlie's strange behavior towards her wasn't entirely what had made her develop a crush, then it surely was her appearance. Taylor has always known that green eyes were her weakness, but Karlie's were so mesmerizing and just so bright, full of life. They were ambitious, sparkling, and just _so_ fucking green. And then, apart from her beautiful pair of eyes, there were her sharp cheekbones, the adorable constellation of freckles that decorated both her cheeks and nose. The waterfall of golden hair that framed her face. And lastly, her thin lips. They look incredibly soft to the touch and kissable, and Taylor knows that a majestic and charming smile hides underneath them.

The American finds herself admiring her face, unable to look away as the last yellow and orange rays of the sun create such an unique twinkle in her jade green eyes.

Finally, they arrive at Banapur, and Karlie parks the car in front of the fences that signal the entrance of the small town. They get off simultaneously and ascend the few narrow and stony stairs together, their shoulders brushing from time to time.

"You were really great today. I'm sure you will be fine tomorrow," Karlie says, stopping when reaching Taylor's building. The American places her hand on the doorknob, smiling warmly at the leader as she waits for more encouraging words. "Relax tonight. Just try not to think about anything so tomorrow you will be fully ready," Karlie adds when noticing her expectant gaze. Taylor nods gratefully. "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Taylor,"

The American waves her goodbye. "Goodnight."


	5. Taylor's Journal, January 2020

**TAYLOR'S JOURNAL, JANUARY 2020**

**Banapur**

  
_A few days ago, when we were all having dinner together, the wife from my favorite couple gave me this journal, and I decided to start writing as much as I can about my experience here in Pradesh. She let me know that, unfortunately, her husband had died the day where Banapur had burned. I had hugged her tightly and I was genuinely sad for her. But she looked fine. She said that he's in a better place and that soon she'll reach him. That made me smile, because not even death could stop her from loving him._

_Tomorrow, I'm going to fight alongside the Golden Path, and although I said that I wasn't nervous to Karlie, I lied. When she had asked me this afternoon, I told her the truth, but now, laying in my bed and really thinking about the events that will take place in a few hours, I start to feel nervous. It's not the type of nervousness that makes you nauseous, but it still makes your heart beat faster, as if it's in your throat. Karlie has assured me multiple times that I'm fine, I've learned a lot in the past two weeks, but I'm still insecure about my skills. What if I forget everything? What if there happens to be a situation where I don't know what to do?_

_Karlie told me that the Khilana Bazaar is the easiest outpost to conquer, and that I don't have to worry. There will be at least thirty five soldiers of the Golden Path, so I won't be alone. I would probably fight with someone by my side, just to make sure that I don't make shitty decisions. But still, I can't help but worry about all the what ifs._

_I guess that time will tell, and I just hope that everything will be okay and that my paranoias were all useless._


	6. Chapter 5

The noise outside is what wakes her up. She hears shuffling, people talking, and the sound of feet walking on cobblestone pathways. With a deep breath, she gets up and slips into the light blue uniform, tying the yellow bandana around her waist. She kneels beside her bed, reaching out to pick the assault rifle and all the bullets that lay underneath the mattress. She checks her appearance on the mirror beside her nightstand. Her wavy blonde hair are a little past her shoulders, and she passes a hand through her tresses in order to brush them, since she has no hairbrush with her. The first two buttons of her uniform are unfastened since the shirt is too small for her chest. The pants are a little tight around her backside, but she looks fine. After all, she has to go conquer an outpost, not walk a runway. She doesn't need to look perfect.

Once she's content with her look, she rubs her hands against her face and sighs, when suddenly there's a knock at her door. She turns around and isn't surprised to see Karlie. The leader stops at her doorway, looking her up and down and checking her out. It's the first time Taylor wears the _Golden Path_ complete uniform, and she blushes under such blatant scrutiny. When their eyes meet, she sees Karlie swallow thickly. "You ready to go?"

Taylor nods quickly, picking her weapons and pushing her ammunitions on her pockets. She steps outside her shanty, brushing her shoulder with Karlie's chest on the way out. She faintly smells her woodsy and peculiar scent. The leader follows her and they meet the other soldiers at the first section of Banapur, more than ten technical cars parked alongside the gravel road.

"Guys," Karlie calls, standing on a raised stone and getting a good view of her troop. All the civilians of Banapur surround the small group as the leader continues, "This is the first step towards victory. Remember, the ascent to peace is not a sprint, but it's a marathon. A long way awaits us, and we need to be strong. Always. Today we'll not give our best. We will be _better_ than our best," at that, Karlie's determined but gentle eyes meet Taylor's. "I believe in all of you. And I believe that today we'll come back victorious,"

A loud exultation explodes among the soldiers as they hold up their rifles in an ambitious way. Taylor smiles at the joy around her and watches Karlie move closer to her. The resolution floating around relaxes the American as all the soldiers divide in small groups and get in different cars. Taylor gets on Karlie's vehicle, sitting on the passenger seat as the leader drives. With them there are about four soldiers perched on the back of the technical car.

The journey to the outpost is fifteen minutes long, and in order to not get detected, they park at least hundreds of meters away from it. Once outside, they reunite and Karlie explains the plan: one of their snipers will disable the only alarm, and once they've taken care of it, they will surprise attack them from above, since they will wait on the small mountain that faces the outpost.

They divide in six groups, and once the alarm is down, one of the woman soldiers yells, "Death to Pagan Min!" before all of them launch themselves on the unprepared _Royal Army_ soldiers. Soon, gunshots and exploding grenades are heard, deafening Taylor as she runs towards an unwary enemy, who's looking around himself but doesn't expect an attack from behind. The American thrusts her knife inside his abdomen, the man loudly groaning and trying to fight back to no avail. She pushes him to the ground and as soon as she spots another enemy who has detected her, she runs towards the nearby wall, dodging the few shots sent her way. She checks that her rifle can be used, and after taking a deep breath, she peeks and sticks out only her head and weapon from behind the building, quickly aiming at his head but missing it. _I was so close._ She groans as she recharges her assault rifle, her hands shaking as she throws the finished refill to the ground. As she finishes reloading her weapon, she hears people screaming, profanations bouncing off the walls around her.

She tries again, this time hitting his forehead perfectly, and a victorious smile makes its way onto her lips. However, the bliss of the moment doesn't last long, as she spots one of her companions in difficulty: an enemy is straddling the _Golden Path_ soldier's waist, strangulating him as he tries to break free from his unbreakable hold around his neck.

Taylor sprints towards the pair, pushing the enemy on the ground, and when she checks if he was still breathing, she frowns slightly when hearing no pulse from his neck.

Then, unexpectedly, a hand harshly grips her hair from behind, tugging it and making her stumble on the ground. A fist makes contact with her jaw, and she spits blood when the hard blow renders her dizzy. Nevertheless, she fights back, hitting him in between his legs with one of her own.

"Son of a bitch. I will kill you, Suri!" he exclaims, pushing her off the ground. They begin pushing against each other's shoulders, and when Taylor realizes that he's stronger than her, that's when she feels the ground slip from beneath her feet. She looks down, and when she notices that they've reached the top of the hill, the enemy punches her again to throw her off center. Taylor lets out a light yelp when they both begin falling down, but the impact with the ground never comes. Instead, they dip in the nearby lake, and what Taylor had feared the night before actually comes reality. She finds herself underneath the water, trying to fight a very stubborn soldier as he tries to aim his gun at her head. She frantically moves her legs in order to block his body in some type of way, and her hands wrap around his, attempting to turn the gun in his direction. Taylor feels herself growing tired, her eyelids slowly closing when the air in her lungs isn't enough, and she uses the last of her strength to finally shoot him, killing him at last. She watches his body reach the bottom of the lake, and when she looks up at the surface, she extends one arm, trying to swim. Fate fails her, as she faints and everything turns black before she can actually move her legs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"That was the last one, right?"

"Yes, chief,"

Karlie smiles as she takes in her surroundings. Finally, after years and years, the _Golden Path_ has finally conquered an outpost. She's delighted, and Sanjay can see it in her face. Some of the soldiers raise their rifles and start shooting at the sky out of happiness, exalting on their own as the leader looks around herself, searching for one person in particular. "Where is Taylor?" she asks with a grin. Her friend shrugs, and when she realizes that she's the only one missing, she starts to panic. "Sanjay, where _is_ Taylor?" she repeats her question over and over again, asking the others where they've last seen her. One of them points to the end of the hill, telling her that she was fighting a hardy enemy. She runs towards that spot, and she freezes when she looks down and spots blood staining the surface of the water. Her head spins as memories from her past flash at the forefront of her mind. Without thinking about it, Karlie launches into the lake, quickly swimming until she reaches the bottom. There, she spots two bodies, one belonging to the _Royal Army_ and the other unfortunately belonging to Taylor. The leader slips her arms beneath her neck and knees, holding her against her chest as she swims back to the surface. When she finally stands on the shore, she lays the American's body down and looks down at her. Taylor is incredibly pale, her lips are slightly parted and her chest remains unmoving. Between ragged and heavy breathes, Karlie whispers, "No. No, please no. Don't let me be too late,"

She quickly places her hands over Taylor's chest, beginning to repeatedly push against it in order to help her spit out the useless water from her lungs. She does the mouth-to-mouth, opening Taylor's lips slightly before placing her own over hers, pushing oxygen inside of her. She repeats these two actions for a few moments, the hope inside of her vanishing with each second that passes, Taylor's blue eyes still hidden behind her closed eyelids. "Please," she says in a teary whisper. "Please, don't let me be too late,"

Karlie feels a hand against her shoulder but doesn't turn around. She keeps on staring at Taylor's pale face, and just when the leader begins hiccupping, her vision blurry from all the tears, Sanjay pushes her away, saying "I will do this,"

After a few minutes, finally, the American begins coughing lightly, water coming out of her plump lips and soaking her light blue shirt. Karlie stands behind them, her hands shaking, her entire world spinning.

"Karlie," Sanjay calls her name. "She's alive. It's okay, it's all over now," he reassures her. "It's over,"

But the leader doesn't listen to him. Her ears are ringing, and she hears her own cries as a completely different ending plays at the forefront of her mind. She slowly backs away from her troop, her eyes closed as everything becomes too much. She hears Sanjay calling her name once again, but she can't stay here anymore. She ignores all of them, as they try to stop her from walking away. She doesn't turn around when Sanjay yells her name, and she doesn't turn around when Taylor is the one to call out for her. Her feet carry her away, bringing her to her technical car.

Everything that has happened in that small amount of time has brought back too many memories for the leader.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Taylor wakes up, the smell of incense fills her nostrils and dim lights burn above her head. Everything in her body aches, and when she tries to move, she regrets her actions as pain shoots through her whole frame. A whimper falls from her chapped lips, and perhaps the faint sound is what gets her the attention of the people surrounding her. A blurred face comes into view, but her eyes are too tired to focus properly and recognize the person beside her.

"Taylor? Do you hear me?" the voice comes from a male, and it sounds worried but not too much. "Taylor?"

The American moans louder when a hand touches her left shoulder. She hears a faint apologize, probably coming from the same person who's trying to speak with her. The blonde quietly weeps, her wounds stinging, the air reaching her lungs not enough.

"Do you remember what happened to you? Because—,"

"Leave her alone, soldier,"

_Sanjay._ Taylor recognizes the voice as soon as it speaks. Her hand is suddenly being grabbed by a big one, and familiar features finally appear above her. Sanjay caresses her forehead, his thumb going back and forth along the injured skin. "How are you feeling?" he asks her.

Taylor licks her dried lips, uttering, "I'm really tired."

The Indian man chuckles. "Of course you are. You kicked ass out there."

They share a light laugh, but Taylor coughs shortly after. "Where am I?"

"You're in Banapur's infirmary. You just need a lot of rest. Fortunately, you don't have serious injuries. You'll be fine by the end of the day."

When the American finally looks at her surroundings, she sees a curtain around the bed she's lying on, and spots a few sleeping soldiers, whose wounds were being treated by careful nurses. Sanjay stands by her side, a bandage around his forearm. He looked fine, his small smile providing her a strange sense of comfort. He told her that they had given her something that would calm her down, something that would let sleep come faster to her. Judging by the smell floating around, she was probably high on something, but she didn't mind. Taylor loved feeling afloat, the fuzziness of the sounds echoing around her. The face of the enemy who had drowned was a distant memory, as if it had happened months ago instead of the day before. Then, she thought about the leader, how her absence made everything a little less exciting and colorless.

"Where is Karlie?" she asks, her words slurred as her eyes fight to stay open. She catches sight of a small frown on Sanjay's lips.

"She needed some time to herself."

Taylor's brows furrow. "Why?"

The man purses his lips, a distant and melancholic glint dancing within his eyes. Sanjay's answer is the last thing she hears before falling into a deep slumber.

"It's a long story."


	7. Chapter 6

She walks along the pathway with a gentle and slow step. After waking up a few hours ago, she felt immediately better. Therefore, the American went back to Banapur, sure that she was going to find the leader there. However, she found nothing but an empty shack; Karlie was not there. She asked around, and a soldier called Ashawary told her that Karlie had gone to Kailash, a small temple situated a few miles away from Banapur. Taylor thanked her, not sparing another second as she went back to her car after having asked for directions for this said temple. Therefore, here she is, her little blue van parked a few feet away. The American was still wearing the azure uniform, the yellow bandana now wrapped around her waist as she finally spots the temple. It wasn't huge, but Taylor expected it to be bigger. However, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. The blonde looks around, wide eyes scanning the walls made of cobblestone. It looked like a cavern, lit candles scattered across the pavement to signal the entrance of the holy place.

A light breeze caresses her bare neck, and she hugs herself a little. Taylor steps inside, not knowing what to expect as the smell of incense floats around. Silence surrounds her, and she leaves behind the light of the moon as she keeps on walking quietly. The inside was cozy, almost melancholic as prayer flags of different colors hang from the low ceiling. The sound of her steps echo throughout the walls, but what catches her attention is what stands at the very end of the cavern. A light shiver runs across her spine; there, in front of a small altar, stands Karlie, knelt with her head hanging low in defeat. Her shoulders shake slightly, and Taylor ponders on what to do next. Does she make her presence known? Or does she stand here, waiting for Karlie to notice her?

The American takes a few, hesitant steps forward, and then, she hears the sound of Karlie's soft cries. She's whispering words, but Taylor's ears aren't able to catch their meaning. The sight of the woman in pain, makes the blonde's heart ache with a strange emotion she can't quite understand.

Suddenly, her foot accidentally steps on a tiny, small stone, the sound of it moving echoing around the temple. The leader, suddenly, stops whispering, and her shoulders stop shaking. Karlie slowly turns around, and when their eyes meet, the rebel stands up furiously.

"What are you doing here?!" Karlie exclaims, pointing a daring finger towards the American. When she comes nearer, Taylor sees the bloodshot green eyes and a furtive tear staining her cheek. Saying that she was surprised to see her cry was an understatement. Karlie was such a strong woman, unbreakable. But now, here she is, breaking down just a few feet away from Taylor.

The blonde speaks quietly, "I wanted to speak with you."

"About what, uh?" the leader's words are laced with venom. She furiously rubs her eyes, the fabric that covers her knees stained with dirt. Taylor tries not to let her unfriendly tone get to her, as she winces slightly.

"I—," she struggles for what to say next. "I wanted to know if you were okay."

Karlie stares at her for a moment, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "I'm fine, Taylor. You can go back to Banapur and sleep peacefully."

"You're not okay," Taylor states daringly. Karlie was about to go back to the small altar, but her feet stop moving and her back stiffens slightly. "I can see it, Karlie. You're not okay," the American says quietly. "Why are you here? Why did you need time to yourself today?"

"It's none of your business," Karlie mutters darkly. Taylor wants so desperately to see her eyes, to catch a glimpse of what is going on inside the brunette's heart.

"I want to understand, Karlie," Taylor says, the hurt in her voice slipping past her parted lips. "Did I do something wrong? Do you want me to go back to the USA? If you don't want me here, just tell me and I—,"

"You drowned!" Karlie exclaims angrily. Her hands turn into fists, her fingers trembling. "You fucking drowned," the leader's voice lowers, as if all of her vulnerability has escaped from her body. "You died and then you came back," she whispers. Taylor waits for her to say more. "I was so scared. It happened all so fast, but I felt like I was moving in slow motion. A moment before you were there, beside me, smiling, and then a moment later you were just gone. You were gone, and I thought I had lost you. I thought that, because of me, because of my selfish wishes, you had died."

"Karlie, I'm here. I'm alive," Taylor says just as quietly. She tentatively places a hand on Karlie's shoulder, but the leader refuses her comforting touch, stepping away.

"What happened to you made me feel like I was living a déjà vu," Karlie cries quietly. "My—," her breath hitches at the base of her throat. "My brother died that way. He had done the same thing. He fought an enemy under water, and just like you, he hadn't been able to reach the top. He drowned, but when I found him again, I was too late. He— _Darpan_ —was already dead when me and Sanjay and the other soldiers found him. He died in the same lake you had drowned in today, and I was so scared. I thought that I was too late, that I had let you die, but when you breathed again, it was just—it was all too much for me."

Taylor stands, lips parted and speechless, hands trembling by her sides. What Karlie had just said was an insight, a close look inside the cavern of secrets that was her heart. The leader stays still, her shoulders hunched as if she was about to explode into million pieces. She is quivering, and Taylor wants to desperately reach out and comfort her through the light touch of her hand.

"You drowned," Karlie whispered, uncoordinatedly moving her hands. "And then you came back."

That was the last thing before the American decided to move; Taylor tentatively steps forward, places a hand against her shoulder, and squeezes lightly, letting the woman feel her presence. She hears a wolf howl in the distance, but Karlie's soft whimpers break the silence even more. The rebel gives in to Taylor's comforting touch, and without a single word, turns around and quickly buries her head in the crook of the American's neck. The pain and sorrow stain her skin, and Taylor clenches her teeth, not fully hugging the other woman as she cups her forearms and holds them tightly. The height difference between the two makes the blonde woman raise her head and place it onto Karlie's shoulders, the latter shaking under her chin. The leader's arms blindly reach for the other woman, as they grasp the first thing they encounter; Taylor's back. Karlie unconsciously pulls her closer, gently.

"I've got you," the American whispers, closing her eyes and focusing on the rebel's breathing. Karlie's harsh breath raises goosebumps on Taylor's skin, as it directly hits the side of her neck, right below her jawline. "I've got you,"

"I—I'm fine," the leader speaks quietly, pulling away and brushing the azure sleeve of her uniform against her runny nose. She takes two steps back, almost as if she were too afraid to stand close to the American, whose blue eyes stare at her attentively. "God, I hate being weak," she muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"You're not weak for crying. You're not weak for grieving your brother's death. It's not weakness," Taylor affirms, slightly closing the distance between them and caressing her arm. Karlie doesn't refuse her touch, but stiffens slightly. The leader looks at her with a guarded look, and the American wishes she could read the thousands memories that had just passed before them.

"You shouldn't have seen me like this. I'm not like this, I don't cry often,"

"It's okay, I don't mind," Taylor tentatively smiles. "I'm usually a crier," she tries to joke.

Karlie quietly chuckles, keeping on drying her tears with the fabric of her uniform. Taylor stays silent, wishing the leader would speak more about her past and let the blonde woman in.

"Do you want me to stay?"

The rebel softly gazes at her, the jade in her eyes making Taylor's heart stop for the briefest moment. Karlie shakes her head, and before the American could get hurt by her rejection, she says, "I'm going back to my shack. Tomorrow's going to be a long day."

Taylor nods. She hesitates, both of them standing in the middle of the dimly lit cavern and looking everywhere but each other. The vulnerability of the moment was too much to bear, and the American, although reluctant, asks, "Do you want a ride?"

Karlie smiles gratefully, before replying, "I would love that."  
  
  
  


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The moon was hanging high in the dark sky when they had finished laying the table. It's been a couple of days since the unfortunate events that had happened at the conquered outpost, but since Karlie was now feeling better, the soldiers at Banapur had wanted to celebrate the huge step that the movement had just made. Therefore, here they are, sitting at a table and eating _daal_ , which consisted of rice and lentils. Taylor had started to get used to the food they ate here in India, and she actually liked it. Karlie had introduced her to some of the soldiers that were sitting closest to them; Akash, Mahesh, and the fairly young Shikha. Mahesh joined the _Golden Path_ after his dad had been killed by the _Royal Army,_ and he's been loyal and obedient ever since.

Akash, on the other hand, was a courageous and honest soldier, one of the youngest along with Shikha. He had two children, a boy and a girl, both dead because of a fire caused by Pagan Min's troops. Each one of them, that was seated at the table with them, was a survivor of grief, of sadness and fright. And Taylor appreciates each one of them, as they all laugh together and enjoy the fairly warm air of January even though it was winter.

" _Namaste,_ Taylor. I've heard a lot of things about you, but it's finally nice to meet you in person."

"The pleasure is all mine, Akash,"

"What brings you here, in Pradesh?"

His brown eyes glint with a mischievous and skeptical brightness, and Taylor wonders if Karlie has ever told anyone of the soldiers the real reason why she was here. She glances quickly at the leader, who is too busy eating her plate of rice to care about their conversation. She swallows, replying, "I'm here to grant my mother's wish. She wanted me to take her ashes to a temple, Ramish."

A fork falls against the table, and a tense silence follows. Akash looks up, as he slows down chewing on his food. "You're Ajay Suri's daughter?"

Taylor looks around the table, realizing that everyone is staring at her. _Did Karlie at least tell anyone who I really am? Why is everyone so surprised?_ "Yes, I am."

Akash scoffs, rolling his eyes as he affirms, "Excuse me, young lady, but sometimes he was a really piece of shit. Why did he start this damn war? I'm sure it wasn't just because he was _angry_ with Pagan Min," he halts, swallows his food, then continues, "I've heard that his wife had an affair with the King," he snickers.

Taylor is too speechless to say anything, therefore he keeps on going with his speech as everyone listens intently.

"I mean, he's the one who initiated this war, so he's the one who got my children killed. And _now_ —I can't believe that I'm eating with his daughter sitting in front of me,"

His statement got the leader's attention, who raises her head and looks at him with an alarming glare.

"Akash, _kripaya,_ " it was the first time Taylor has heard Karlie speak Hindi, and her hard and curt tone makes the American blush as the rebel raises her hand to stop the soldier's rage.

" _Nahimn_ , Karlie. I won't stop talking now, not when I've shut up for at least three years now," he speaks, then glances back at Taylor, whose gaze falls down onto her plate that was almost empty. "You're just like him, aren't you? You will do what he did; you will help us, you will kill Pagan Min then you'll throw everything away. You will have power, and then you'll kill us all. Is this what you will do? Isn't this your plan?"

Taylor remains speechless, not knowing what or _how_ to respond to such cruel and just false words. Then, after moments of silence, the American realizes that everyone at the table is looking at her and impatiently waiting for her response, and she meets Karlie's eyes, who look just as curious as Akash's, and then replies as calmly as possible, "No. I won't do that. I will kill none of you. I know that it must be difficult, having faith in someone you barely know. But I'm not my father. I'm not like _him_. I swear. I will _never_ be like him."

"How can I be sure of that? How can we be safe here, sitting with you? You could pull out a gun and kill us all,"

"But I won't do that," Taylor replies readily. "Because I'm disarmed. You can check, if you want, but I wouldn't lie to you,"

Akash's eyes soften, as he lowers his fork down and stares at her. Everyone is waiting for her to say more, and with a quiet, trembling sigh, Taylor speaks, "I came here a month ago, thinking that I would stay here for just a week. Do what my mother had told me to do and leave. But instead—, I came here and I found so much more. I found a family that I didn't realize was missing from my life. I've made plenty of friends, I've learned a lot of things in just a small amount of time, and I don't regret that," she hesitates, finishing the last portion of her rice. She chews it languidly, before finishing, "I'm here to fight alongside you, not _against_ you."

There's a moment of silence, one that seems to last forever, but then Akash smiles and everything turns back to normal, the air hanging above them lighter and freer. They end the night with laughs, jokes, and before Taylor could return back to her shack, Akash grabs her arm and stops her halfway.

"I'm sorry if I doubted you, girl," he says, almost embarrassed. Taylor shrugs, and surprises the man with a friendly hug.

"It's hard to trust someone when you're surrounded by war. I understand your doubts about me, I had them too at the beginning,"

They share a quiet laugh, as Akash brushes his dry and chapped hand against her soft blonde hair.

"I will be forever grateful if you help us win this war,"

"A lot of people will be grateful, but I will need all the help in the world," she says with a grin.

He chuckles, and before letting her go, he says, "You will have all the help you need, don't you worry."   
  



	8. Chapter 7

The words of that soldier keep replaying in her mind. It had been a simple whisper, a thought that had been said out loud, but nevertheless, it had reached Taylor's ears. She had heard him, and while she hadn't been able to fully comprehend it at the beginning, she was dwelling on it now. She's driving, mindlessly, the seat beside her empty without Karlie's infectious and ambitious energy, and his words are capital letters at the forefront of her mind; _I've heard that his wife had an affair with the King_. His voice had been so light, so thin and so taunting, that Taylor wonders if it was just a question that he had, or if he had _really_ heard that rumor about her mother. The American is so sure that Ishwari didn't lie to her; not when she had to ask her such a big favor. However, doubts still cloud the woman's mind and leave her hanging with nothing but uncertainty and agitation. Karlie wasn't aware of her terrible state of mind, but as Taylor drives the gravel streets, all she wants to do is go over to the nearby outpost and speak with Karlie. Tell her every fear that was eating her alive, that was making it impossible to sleep at night.

The first day of February, the _Golden Path_ had the pleasure to conquer not only one, but two outposts near Banapur. Now having three of them and having an expanse territory to watch over, Taylor feels like her presence is _really_ making everything better, as if what Karlie had said a month ago, about her being a positive influence on the soldiers, was true. The American doesn't know how to feel; if she should feel grateful, or if she should feel pressurized. What if something terribly bad happened to her and died? Would the troops give up and lose the war, because the last of their hopes was gone? Taylor doesn't want to think about her possible death. Dying here seems so absurd, so insane after just one month. Every soldier of the _Golden Path_ was literally doing everything in their power to protect her; from accompanying her back to her shack, to tagging along on a hunt day. She was never alone, although she sometimes missed the feeling of going out and just _be_.

Therefore, when she had gone out of Banapur that morning, with no one sitting on the passenger seat, she had felt a little bit freer. She didn't mind some company, but still, she felt like suffocating sometimes; as if this war wasn't enough suffocating itself.

Just as she is driving around, about to turn around and seek Karlie's company, she catches the sight of a _Royal Army_ soldier pinning an old man, whose hands were tied behind his back, and pointing a gun dangerously close to his temple. She immediately stops, parks the car at the side of the road, and gets off the vehicle. She has every intention to just aim at his head and kill him right there, but then a second man appears from behind the tree, making everything worse. It was two against one, but Taylor feels like she can do it; she was getting stronger each day that went by.

With a determined but shaking breath, she shuffles closer to the two men and hides behind a tree, before making her presence known by wrapping her arms around the soldier closest to the hostage, and strangling him. She cuts his throat quickly, pushing him on the ground and focusing her attention on the other one. However, just as she is about to lunge forward and attack the other, a bullet seeps through the light azure fabric of her uniform and wounds her shoulders. Taylor groans quietly, harshly, and falls back behind a tree, trying to seek refuge. She heard the sound of shots, the _Royal Army_ soldier screaming profanities at her while cursing her name. The pain on her shoulder is momentarily forgotten, as she blindly shoots from behind the tree and luckily kills him. When silence overcomes the scene, Taylor finally stands up and walks over to the trembling and frightened figure.

"Oh my, thank you so much, pure soul," the hostage says hastily, but halts half way when he notices that she's injured. "You are injured!" he exclaims, pointing a shaking, dirty fore finger at her right shoulder.

"I'm okay, don't worry about me," she replies, doing everything she can to ignore the dull pain. "Are _you_ okay?"

The man nods profusely. "Yes. Thank you, so much."

Taylor smiles, and the other, without uttering a word, casts a parting glance at her figure, before walking away from her with a slow step. As soon as she is alone, she looks up at the cloudy sky and groans quietly when the pain spreads from her shoulder blades to her fingertips. Quietly, she goes back to her car and treats her wound, thanking whatever deity was above her when noticing that it was just a really deep cut along the side of her right shoulder. She finds a clean gauze in the dashboard and wraps it not too tightly around her injury, quietly whimpering since it hurt when she moved. Slowly, she turns on the car and decides to drive to where Karlie was staying. It didn't take long, less than ten minutes, but when she reaches the wooden dark red door of the leader's shack, a thunder breaks the silence in half and leaves her with a sense of doom above her head. She shudders, fixing the yellow bandana around her waist and knocking lightly. It's the first time she feels this nervous when meeting with Karlie, but she can't help it; a bad feeling shakes her until the rebel's comforting and haunting green eyes appear before her.

"What happened to your arm?"

It's the first thing Karlie says, and it makes Taylor smile; the leader is always so caring and worried about her. "Nothing. I'm okay, it's just a cut," the American dismisses, shrugging and walking inside the shack as Karlie closes the door behind her. The second thing Taylor notices is Karlie's posture; stiff, and incredibly nervous, as if something was about to happen. The intense smell of incense fills her nostrils, but after a month and a half spent in this country, she's used to it.

The leader stands, and stares. Her eyes are narrowed, small, and they scrutinize Taylor's whole figure. Taylor feels timid under such blatant scrutiny, and ducks her head momentarily. "Did I do something?"

Karlie looks taken aback, as she widens her eyes and asks, "What? Why?"

"You're looking at me as if you're about to give me a lecture," she chuckles nervously, playing with her fingers behind her back.

"I—, no, I'm not going to scold you," the rebel looks to the side, to something that is simply not there, and then takes a step forward. She's quiet, unsettling, and makes Taylor frightened.

"Did someone we know die?"

The leader is close to her now, jade green eyes pinning blue ones to the spot. She's intimidating, almost, and the anticipation that is building within the four walls makes Taylor swallows thickly. "No," she replies. "But I have to tell you something. Well, _give_ you something."

The American nods, but doesn't know what to expect when a letter is being handed to her. Its color is yellow, and the paper is a little consumed. Taylor wonders what it might say.

"What is it?"

Karlie sighs quietly. "Find out yourself,"

Taylor clears her throat, shifts her weight from one foot to the other, and opens the letter. There is a simple paragraph in the middle, the cursive calligraphy unknown to her, and her eyes read over the ink shaped words as Karlie gauges her reaction.

**YASHODA SURI, YEAR 1991;** — _I need to take Taylor and her sister to their grandmother, in the USA, where Ajay can't hurt them. He's furious; he's found out about me and Pagan, but he can't know about my biggest secret. My God, what excuse can I come up with? I just can't say the truth. He will go insane, he with his stupid weapons. I have to take them away from him, I have to save them from him, but I can't just tell him that he's not Taylor's father. I can't tell him that our baby, our precious baby Taylor, comes from a passionate night spent with Pagan. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless, I have to come up with a plan._

_Shit. I'm completely fucked. What do I do now?_

"It's an extract from your mother's diary. I found it—yesterday."

Karlie's trembling voice lingers in the air as Taylor keeps staring at the letter in her hands, mouth wide open and mind blank. The more she reads the cursive words, the more it seems surreal to her. Ajay is not her _father_? The man who had started all of this, was _not_ her father? The man who she calls _enemy_ is, on the other hand _, her_ father? Pagan Min is her _father_?

A strange sense of disgust towards herself overcomes her body, as she dangerously, slowly lowers the paper and looks up at something beyond Karlie's shoulder. She hears her gulp, but asks anyway, in a quiet, filled with thorns, voice, "Where the _fuck_ did you find this?"

_Pagan Min is my father_. "At your mother's house. I—uh, I wanted to take you there."

"My mother's house?" _the King is your father._

"Yeah," Karlie sounds concerned as she momentarily asks, "Are you okay?"

"You want to take me there?" Taylor asks, ignoring her question. She doesn't want to answer that; she doesn't even know if she _knows_ the answer to that question.

"If you want me to," Karlie's eyes roam all over her features, looking for something, a sign, that would tell her how Taylor was feeling. Finding nothing, she turns back to her light blue irises.

For the first time, the American meets her gaze, and Karlie recognizes the one feeling that she had felt too many times throughout her life; defeat. Taylor's eyes fill with unshed tears, and bursts into heartbreaking sobs as soon as she collapses into Karlie's arms. It was the second real hug between the two women, and the leader is hesitant, afraid to let someone in after all the time that has passed since that _tragic_ day. She tries to sooth Taylor's excruciating pain through the light touch of her fingertips, running them along her tense and shaking back. She makes the mistake of tilting her head, her nose brushing against incredibly soft blonde hair; Taylor smells of incense, of fright, and of the sweetest flower. Karlie hates the feeling at the pit of her stomach; it's familiar, but unwelcome, because she knows from experience that making the same mistake twice would do no good to her. Falling in love for another rebel, while there was a war outside their windows, wasn't smart, and despite knowing this, she couldn't help but wonder how it would feel like to have Taylor's lips pressed against hers, as they now brush along her neck. Ragged breath remind her how terrible and poor Taylor's state of mind is, as her cries fill the silence along with the haunting sound of thunders. "You're okay. I've got you,"

They're the same words Taylor had used when comforting Karlie a few weeks ago, and they have the same effect on the American, as her sobs turn into soft cries before becoming almost inaudible sniffles.

When the blonde pulls away, she doesn't meet Karlie's stare, as she hastily dries her tears. Seeing her in such a distressed state, the rebel doesn't know how to act. Does she hold her hand? Does she wipe away the tears from her cheek?

But Taylor takes two steps back, places the letter on the nearby wooden table, and sits down on the unmade bed. She puts her head in her hands, and runs them through her slightly wavy tresses. Karlie is taken aback, as she realizes just how _beautiful_ Taylor truly looks. It's a little surprising, as she stands in the middle of the room, doing nothing with herself and feeling slightly useless.

"They have all lied to me. They are all _liars._ They are all jerks. They have lied; my father, my mother, my grandma. Everyone," Taylor speaks quietly, her eyes so lost and lacking emotions that it scares the leader. "And I feel so alone in this moment. I don't know who to trust now."

"You have me," Karlie finds herself saying, her voice eager and quick. Their eyes meet for the second time, and the rebel continues, "I am here for you, you can trust _me,_ Taylor," she enunciates quietly.

"But I'm afraid," her eyes water once again. "I'm so fucking afraid because the only thing this world does is lie. Why not tell me that Ajay is not my real father? Why not tell me that I'm the daughter of a tyrant who doesn't want to leave an innocent people alone?"

Karlie sighs, and out of pure sympathy, she kneels before Taylor's seated figure and places her hands onto her knees. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you need to be in pain, Taylor. But you can trust me, I would _never_ lie to you, I promise."

The last word was whispered, and Karlie lets it linger in the air as she tries not to drawn in the ocean within the American's eyes. In that moment, the rebel couldn't help but realize that Taylor was nothing but little broken pieces of a pure heart.

"I don't want to go to my mother's house," she says after a while.

"We're not obliged to."

Taylor shakes her head. "I don't want to go alone, but if you promise me that you'll be there by my side, then we can go."

Karlie looks at her attentively. She feels like the relationship between her and Taylor has changed in the span of thirty minutes, and she doesn't know if she's happy about that or eternally remorseful. Either way, what she does know, is that she wants to make the other girl content, and if that meant going to Ishwari's house, then she would take her there.

"Are you sure? Do you really want to do this, Taylor?"

The woman nods.

"Alright, then," sighs Karlie. Without thinking about it, she tucks a strand of blonde hair behind Taylor's ear and breathes deeply. "Let's go. It will take a while to get there."  
  
  
  
  
  


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Both of them are silent, as the car hustles along the gravel, narrow street. It leads them to an unsettling looking mountain, the threatening, ashen clouds covering the ball of fire in the sky above them making the trip even more inauspicious. Taylor sits on the passenger seat, her mouth shut and eyes glued to the passing trees. The American almost looks like a statue, so still, so unmoving, that Karlie is afraid she will break if she dares to touch and disturb her quietness. The leader is perched behind the steering wheel, throwing nervous and concerned glances towards the blonde haired woman beside her. The calmness hanging above them makes Karlie's heartbeat echo within her ears, and she's so frightened to say the wrong thing that she sinks her pearly white teeth in the tender skin of her thin bottom lip. The grip around the ruined leather of the wheel is death like, so tight that her knuckles turn white. When Karlie's eyes set upon Taylor's figure, she frowns; her posture was so hunched, her shoulders closing around her like the wings of a terrified angel. The American's chin is delicately placed onto her fist, and Karlie notices the shakiness of her fingers as soon as the woman takes a deep breath.

The sun was about to set, hide cowardly behind the snow covered mountains, when they finally reached their destination. They weren't on top, however, stairs made of stones were separating them from Ishwari's house. When Karlie parks the car in the little space that the narrow pathway allows, she hears Taylor swallow, perhaps whimper quietly, and breathing out lightly. The leader wants to reassure her, tell her that nothing bad could come out of this visit, but instead, her thoughts unexpectedly wander back to her dead mother, and to the day of her death.

"Where is it?"

The American's voice sounds so foreign to her ears, but Karlie blinks twice and replies, "We need to ascend those stairs. Then we'll be there."

She watches as Taylor's blue eyes narrow, its color almost vanishing behind the darkness of its stormy ocean. Her fingers quiver, as they set upon the handle of the door calmly and slowly. Karlie has the urge to place her own hand on her knee, just to provide her some comfort through the light touch of her digits, but bites her lip and holds back. Her heart mimics the fast pace of a scared horse, as it beats against the leather of the driver seat.

"Taylor—,"

"What?"

Her voice isn't meant to sound harsh, but Karlie flinches anyway. "We don't need to do this if you don't want to."

The American doesn't meet her eyes, as she stays quiet by her side. Then, after a small, deep breath escaped from her plump lips, Taylor pulls the handle and opens the door, getting out of the light blue car as if the seat were burning her skin. The leader waits for a few seconds, perhaps thinking that the other woman would waste no time and jump right back inside, but then she saw Taylor's figure make its way towards the stony stairs, and decided that it was time to go with her.

They ascend the stairs in complete silence, with the American's face held up with pride and her lips pressed into a thin line. Her stare was unusually hard, her gaze distant, as if her mind wasn't really there with the leader. Karlie looks at her for a moment, once again taken aback by the beauty that the other woman radiates, even in a moment of complete tension and anxiety and infidelity. She accidentally lowers her jade eyes, making the mistake to lightly gaze at Taylor's prominent chest; which rises and falls regularly. The light blue fabric of the _Golden Path_ uniform is a little tight, and it underlines her perfect and round breasts. Karlie, embarrassed, quickly averts her slightly widen eyes, hoping that Taylor didn't catch her curious stare, and coughs awkwardly.

When they reach the top of the stairs, they halt simultaneously. The house is bigger than what Taylor had imagined, and it looks like it has been abandoned for years. The wooden walls were ruined, with cracks that had permitted to lively ivy to grow restlessly. Prayer flags of different colors were hanging from the rooftop, and the American parts her mouth as she takes tentative steps towards the front of the house. Karlie silently follows her, watching the blonde woman look around as she takes in what once was her mother's house. When they reach the front, Taylor notices something that Karlie hadn't seen the first time she was here; the landscape. The edge of the cliff was gated, and the older woman walks breathlessly towards it, admiring the beautiful view that the sunset provides. The leader stays behind, wanting to give her a moment, but then Taylor speaks, quietly, and asks, "How did you find this place?"

Karlie stands by her side, looks at her briefly, and then replies, "I was hunting one day. I walked by the pathway that leads to this house, and I accidentally stepped on something. It was a piece of metal, that read _Ishwari Suri house_. I'm—I admit that I was curious, so I followed the street and found—," Karlie halts. "I found your mother's house."

"How are you so sure that my mother lived here?"

Taylor's voice is still so low, so breathless. "There was no one here. It was completely deserted, abandoned, and when I tried to get in, the door opened. I rummaged through the rooms, then, when every single thing pointed to the fact that it was Ishwari's house, I knew it was hers. The last thing I found was that piece of paper that I gave you earlier."

The American turns, gazes at her silently, before looking back at the sunset. She then nods, apprehensively, and says, "Should we—go inside?"

Karlie gifts her with the ghost of a smile, but Taylor is mentally too far away to notice. "If you want to."

Once again, Taylor nods, and together, slowly, they walk towards the red front door. However, a sound, a male humorless chuckle, makes the blood floating in their veins freeze. Karlie's hand hangs above the handle, and when she turns around to face Taylor, the color in the American's visage had vanished as she stands beside her, pale as a ghost. The leader, with a quick movement of her finger placed against her mouth, silently tells her to not utter a word. It could be anyone, a member of the _Golden Path,_ but Karlie doubts it, and has a bad feeling of what could be on the other side of the door. The rebel easily grabs the pistol from the holster wrapped around her hips. She hears Taylor's breath hitch behind her, and instinctively reaches behind her, blindly, in order to lend the other woman a hand. She bites her bottom lip when Taylor's dainty fingers wrap around her wrist, holding it tightly and forming an indentation with her short nails.

Then, suddenly, Karlie thrusts open the door, and what appears in front of them makes her heart stop beating within her ribcage.

"Oh—, look who's here,"

With his fake smile, the most mischievous devil within his chestnut, dark, almond eyes, and with his blonde and short lock of hair swept to the side of his face, stands Pagan Min. Two soldiers, perhaps belonging to his _Royal Army,_ immediately raise their shotguns at the leader, as they notice how guarded the two women look. The King wears a stylish, polished and plummy pink suit, the double–breasted blazer tied with the only purple button. The ivory button down shirt grazes his long neck, and he looks so relaxed to see his enemy that it annoys Karlie.

"Now, now," he begins, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Let's all calm down, shall we? We don't want to stain that pretty face of yours with blood, do we?" his attention is still trained on the leader of the rebel movement, and when no one makes a move to lower their weapons, he sighs, sounding almost irritated as he adds, "Please, don't make me repeat myself."

Karlie breathes sharply, as she lowers her pistol and holds it tighter, perhaps to calm herself down. When Taylor advances forward to come and stand beside the taller rebel, finally, the American's ice blue eyes meet Pagan Min's playful ones.

"I see you're not alone," he says. "Oh, you've grown so much over the years, love. The last time I saw you, you were as little as a Chihuahua," the King affirms, his voice light. Every word that escapes from his lips drips with sarcasm, and Taylor hates how much his presence affects her own body. She has seen his face once in her life, when Karlie had shown her a photo torn from a propaganda, and has heard his voice once in a while, on the radio. However, having him stand just a few feet away from her, with his gaze trained solely on her, renders her stomach upset and makes her mouth go dry. "And now—you look like a literal princess. You even have your mother's eyes."

He takes a step forward, and Taylor flinches back when he tries to caress her cheek in a loving manner. Pagan smells of prosperity, of lies, and of incense. The American's shaking fists lay motionless by her sides, and she holds back from punching his face.

"Don't touch her,"

Karlie's voice is incredibly filled with madness, and hoarse, as she stands between the King and the blonde woman, whose eyes had started to water suddenly.

"Oh, the leader," Pagan Min snickers. "The last time I saw you, it was when Ajay died—,"

Karlie was about to reply, but then, she hears Taylor's faint voice fill the silence before hers could. "Don't talk about my _father_ like that, you son of a bitch."

The King's face contorts in a funny and amused frown, as he gazes at the older blond behind the rebel. "Didn't your dad teach you that good girls like you shouldn't say those bad, _bad_ words?" his voice drips with venom, sarcasm, as he continues, "Oh—right. Your _father_ abandoned you before you could even open your little blue eyes."

At that, Taylor sees red. "You're a son of a bitch!" she exclaims, her hand immediately pushing Karlie away as the other grabs the knife hidden in her waistband. She's enraged, as she furiously grabs the collar of his ivory shirt and raises the weapon above his head. However, Karlie's hands immediately stop her, as they wrap around her waist and pull her backwards. The only thing Taylor sees is Pagan Min's smug, devilish grin, the only things she hears are Karlie's grave voice against her ear that tells her to calm down and the soldiers' yells thrown her way. But the American can't hold back her voice. "You're just a son of a bitch! You took advantage of my mother! I know everything! _Everything!_ Go away, bastard, go away! Get out of my mother's house! Get out!"

Taylor flails around, Karlie's strong arms wrapped around her abdomen preventing her from lunging forward. The leader finally takes the knife from her hands and throws it to the side.

"Go away! Get out, bastard! Get out!" Taylor yells, her eyes only looking at the King, who stands motionless before them, clearly enjoying the view of the older woman completely going insane.

"Taylor," Karlie's voice is quiet, and it is the first thing that tears her attention away from screaming profanities towards the man. "Taylor—please, you need to calm down. Please, Tayl—calm down. Taylor—,"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" the American exclaims, and she finally breaks free from the rebel's firm grip. She pushes her away, accidentally scratching her cheek in the process, and her enraged eyes go back and forth between Pagan Min and Karlie. "Tell them to get out."

She's pleading the leader, as the latter holds her cheek in pain. Tears begin to slide across her own cheeks, and she hates how much they sting, how much they taste like failure when they reach her lips. Her hands shake as she swallows a loud sob. " _Please_ —, tell them to get out."

But Karlie does nothing. Her jade green eyes lock with hers, but they only tell her to calm down. "Why is nobody fucking listening to _me_?!" her voice raises once again, and all that she wants to do is rip the fucking uniform that hugs her body and free herself from someone that simply wasn't her. She feels trapped, beneath Pagan Min's amused stare and Karlie's powerless one. The walls are closing in, and when the King speaks up again, it makes everything worse.

"There's no need to scream, my _daughter._ "

Pagan Min was wicked, but Taylor knew that. His statement makes the tears flow faster along her reddened cheeks, and as she shakes her head, which suddenly feels heavy, she backs away slowly, bumping into the door. Taylor clumsily reaches for the handle, and whimpering like a scared animal, she runs out of the building, without even looking back to see if Karlie was following her. 


	9. Taylor's Journal, February 2020

**TAYLOR'S JOURNAL, FEBRUARY 2020**

**Banapur**

  
_Fuck him. Fuck Pagan Min and fuck all of his shitty propaganda. I should have never come here. I should have told Karlie that I didn't want to stay here. I'm too weak, I can't even stop crying as I write this. I don't even know why I'm crying, I didn't even know my father. I didn't even know my mother, if I have to be honest with myself, but why do I care so much? They weren't my family. Ishwari, Ajay. They weren't my parents. The only one that acted as a parent to me was my grandmother, but who knows if she's still alive right now, all alone without me._

_Why the fuck did I come here? It was Karlie, with her fucking green eyes that still make me weak in the knees, that convinced me to stay here. But what did I expect? Maybe I was hopeful that I could, at least once in my life, do the right thing. I hoped that staying here would make me feel good about my shitty self, but instead, nothing. I feel like a failure. I feel like I failed everyone. My mother, because I won't be able to stay alive long enough to bring her fucking ashes to that stupid temple. My father, because he wasn't really my father and I hated him for that. And then there was Pagan Min. With his stupid pink suit and dyed blonde hair. He looked like those rich bitches, and just thinking of him and his appearance makes me upset. It makes my stomach boil with anger and I don't want to go back. I don't want to see him again, knowing that his blood flowed in my veins and that he was my father. Knowing that he had been with my mother to create me._

_I didn't tell anyone where I was. I don't want Karlie to find me and beg with puppy eyes to come back to her, just because I was the last stupid hope that these people had for this country. How could I save them from Pagan Min, when I was here all alone, crying because a fucking tyrant was my father and my life was literally a lie? I wasn't strong like those other soldiers. I had risked my life multiple times, and sometimes I wish I had stayed beneath the water more, so that the water filling my lungs would have been enough to drown my failing soul._

_I wish I could go back to my grandma. Go back to her, hug her and tell her that I had granted my mother's wish. It would be a lie, but wasn't I born out of a lie? My mother had lied to Ajay in order to be with that shitty person that was Pagan Min, and my grandmother had lied to me about my real father. So why wouldn't I want to lie?_

_I don't want to go to sleep. I know he will be there, waiting for me just to tear me down. But I also don't want to stay awake and dwell over what happened today._

_I just want all of this to be over._

_Why did I come here?_


	10. Chapter 8

Shanath Breeders. An outpost conquered two days after her second encounter with Pagan Min. An outpost conquered without Taylor fighting by her side. An outpost that made her think of someone that had once been special to her. It's an outpost that faces the river, and Karlie stands with her arms crossed beside the collection of rickety pens and cages. It had been an easy one; fortunately, she didn't lose anyone, and she should feel happy, but instead, as she stares at the sun setting behind the mountains, the faint sound of the river hitting the terrain, she feels empty. She feels worried, powerless, and although she can't admit it to herself, she knows it's because of Taylor's absence. The American had disappeared soon after meeting the tyrant for the first time, and it pains her thinking of her, because the last image of her that she has inside of her mind is the blonde woman's delicate figure, whimpering as she had run out of Ishwari's house in a hurry. When the leader had gone back to Banapur, Sanjay had immediately asked her what had happened, and then went on to explain that Taylor had sought refuge in the safety of her own shack. Karlie had hastily explained that Pagan Min was the American's real father, and that the news had devastated the older woman. She still remembers his face, when she had told him that the same tyrant was inside of Ishwari's house, with that stupid and egoistic smirk stuck onto his lips.

"You okay, chief?"

It was Sanjay, of course. Standing behind her while reloading his weapon. She hears the sound of ammunition falling to the ground. "Yeah," she replies with a vague tone.

"Still nothing from Taylor?"

Karlie tries to hide her disappointment when she states, "Nope."

"That must be bad, then," the man chuckles, now coming up beside the leader. "Are you worried about her?"

The tall rebel looks at her friend, and narrows her eyes. "Just—a little," she replies. "I mostly feel guilty."

Sanjay furrows his brows. "What? Why?"

Karlie sighs. "If she's hiding in her shack it's because of me. I gave her that letter. I was the one to take her to her mother's house. If I hadn't—,"

"Hey, stop," he interrupts her prematurely. "This is not your fault. If Pagan is her real father, it is not your fault. You were being a good friend and gave her the letter. She deserved to know. I think you did the _right_ thing."

Karlie purses her lips. The only things she can remember are Taylor's sapphire eyes filled with painful tears, and the sound of her sobs echoing inside her chest are the only things she can hear. "Yeah, but—," she sighs. "Now who knows how long she will stay there inside of her shack,"

Sanjay was about to reply, but then his phone vibrates with an incoming message. As he checks it, Karlie painfully tries to erase the bad memories surrounding the American and does her best to focus on the good ones. "Wait," the rebel says suddenly. "Maybe I have good news,"

The hint of a smile in his voice makes Karlie turn her head towards him. "Shikha just sent me a message. It reads: _A woman just told me that she has seen a Sherpa give Taylor everything she needs. From ammo to food. The Sherpa goes inside her house at around three in the morning._ "

"So that's how she eats and drinks without going out," Karlie states, incredulous.

Sanjay chuckles. "Well, I think you know what to do then,"

For the first time, a hopeful smile makes its way onto Karlie's face. Inside her chest, a newfound determination lights up her heart and makes her feel alive. The man tells her that he has things to do, and leaves her alone before she could say something. When the leader goes back to staring at the sunset, she thinks about Taylor happily, and with that thought in mind, she determinedly goes back to Banapur, impatient for the night to come.   
  
  


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The howling of a wolf wakes her up from her brief state of unconsciousness. Hastily, she stands up and furiously rubs the sleep from her tired eyes. Karlie stands behind the wall of a casual shack, the one opposite Taylor's, and purses her lips when she notices that it's already past three in the morning. Her hands are strangely trembling, as she thinks about what to say to the woman once she faces her. _I'm sorry. I should have never have given you that letter. Will you ever forgive me?_ Karlie listens to the sounds of the night, falling in love with Banapur once she realizes how calming the soft breeze floating around makes her feel. Winters of years before come back to her mind, racing at the forefront of her brain as if they didn't want to be seen by the leader. She recalls loved ones that are now up in the clouds, resting in peace. She recalls the ache and the pain that came from loving someone so hard and so passionately. She recalls the smiles, the laughs, the quietness of a winning rebel movement. She recalls the good time, and it's enough to put a nostalgic feeling upon her shoulders. It doesn't hurt, it just gently stings her heart.

Karlie is so lost inside her mind that, when she hears the jiggling of jewelry, she immediately comes out of her hiding spot and comes face to face with a nervous looking, old Sherpa. The leader tries to use an authoritative voice when she speaks, "What are you doing up at this hour? Walking around Banapur is dangerous, sir,"

The man shakes slightly under her intimidating stare, and replies quickly, "Nothing. I was just—going around."

Karlie skeptically eyes the basket full of supplies food and asks, "Where are you taking all of _this_ food and water?"

The Sherpa begins to shiver, to sweat, and just when he was about to run as far away from the angry leader, the rebel grabs his forearm and says quietly, "I know this is for _her_ ," she then whispers near his face, "Let me go in, please. I _need_ to see her."

"Taylor doesn't want to see anyone at the moment. I'm sorry," he says, not meeting her hard and pleading stare.

"Please," she pleads. When she gets no answer from him, she adds, "I'm not _asking_ you. This is an order. Do you really want to disobey to me, the leader of the Rebels?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Good," she nods. "Now, let me in."

The Sherpa quickly does as he's told, giving her the keys to the shack and the basket for the other woman. When he runs away scared, Karlie takes a deep breath before lightly hesitating. What will she tell her?

The light coming from inside tells her that Taylor is still awake, and as she pushes the key inside the keyhole, and slowly turns the doorknob, she swallows thickly when seeing the blonde's back turned towards her.

"That took you a long time—,"

When Taylor turns around, the words die in her throat as her smile falters and her face completely falls at the sight of the rebel standing in front of her. The American clenches her jaw and immediately looks away, as Karlie closes the door behind her back.

"What are you doing here?"

"I—wanted to see you."

"There's a reason if I disappeared, Karlie,"

"I don't care," the leader replies strongly. Taylor seems taken aback by her harsh tone. "I just want to know how you are. Or is that too much to ask?"

The desperation in her voice lingers in the room, and she hates how vulnerable she feels, her walls crumpling underneath Taylor's piercing stare. The American keeps her mouth shut, and turns her back towards her.

"Go," Taylor mutters. "Go away, please."

"Taylor, _please_. I want to speak with you," she tries. Karlie unexpectedly takes a step forward, almost grazing the other woman's shoulder with the gentle touch of her fingertips. Then, out of nowhere, three words come out of her mouth, surprising the both of them. "I _miss_ you."

Taylor's shoulders stiffen, her back tense. She hears her sigh in an exasperated manner, and calmly, Karlie advances forward once again. With trembling hands, she touches her shoulder, but as soon as she does that, Taylor steps away from the comforting touch.

"You—," her words get stuck in the back of her throat as her sapphire eyes shine with unshed tears. "You shouldn't have taken me there. You shouldn't have let me read that stupid letter. I—I shouldn't have come here in the first place, I shouldn't have known all of these things!" Taylor tangles a hand within her blonde wavy hair, as Karlie is left speechless. "I shouldn't have come here. Why did I come here?"

"I'm _sorry_ , Taylor, I am so, _so_ sorry," Karlie apologies, trying to graze her arm, but once again the other girl refuses the physical contact between them.

"I don't need your apologies, Karlie!" Taylor is furious as she exclaims these words a few inches away from the leader's face. "I feel so shitty right now, you have no idea. I don't even want to be _here_."

"What do you mean?" Karlie asks, her throat suddenly going dry.

For an instant, Taylor seems to regret her words, but then she takes a step back, and cowardly turns around in order to not face the other woman. "It means exactly what I said," she mutters lowly. Karlie hears her own heartbeat echo in her ears, and she swallows thickly.

"Taylor—,"

"I should go back to my grandmother. God, I can't even call her because I lost my _fucking_ phone the first day I got here, and I—, I don't even remember her number," a sigh, then, "She must be so worried right now."

The leader is left speechless, her mouth agape as she stares at the hunched back before her. "No," she says quietly. She swallows, "No, you can't just _go_ ," her voice lowers into a whisper. It's vulnerable, and it breaks the tense silence in half. Karlie feels restless, hopeless and powerless, all the calmness that she had felt moments ago, now vanished. "You can't—, you can't leave everyone behind like this."

"I won't leave anyone behind, Karlie!" Taylor exclaims, turning around and facing a distraught leader. It's the first time the American sees her this way; bottom lip slightly trembling, eyes narrowed and unfamiliar. It clenches her heart and it hitches her breath, but she keeps on speaking determinedly. "I'll go back to where I came from, and everyone will think that this was just a vacation for me!"

Karlie shakes her head, and crosses her arms over her chest. "There are people—," she points at her. "—people! Who believe that you will save this country. Do you _really_ want to disappoint them in this way, uh?"

Taylor's mouth hangs open. "Do you—," she breathes harshly, and takes a step forward, seeming more furious than before. "Do you _really_ think that I will save Pradesh, Karlie? Please, let's talk about this seriously."

"I believe that you are able to help our country. I _believe_ —that you will save us from Pagan Min. The rebels believe in you, Taylor," she says. A sigh forcedly comes out of her thin lips, " _I_ believe in _you._ "

When her hands firmly place themselves on top of the American's tense shoulders, she pleads the other woman with her eyes. It almost seems that the blonde was about to soften her hard gaze, but then a sharp cry coming from outside pierces the silence of the night, and it follows the sound of incessant shots. Their eyes stay locked for an instant, before Karlie lunges towards the window and looks out.

"Shit," she curses quietly. "It's the Royal Army."

Taylor is behind her, witnessing the death of an old, innocent woman. Karlie lightly punches the wall, and the American speaks up, "Can't you see that? I only bring disasters."

Her voice is aggravated and angry, and at the sound of it, Karlie faces her, jaw clenched and eyes hard.

"You're not the one he's attacking," Karlie replies, moving away from window while Taylor keeps staring outside. The leader picks up the only shotgun sitting on top of the wooden table, checks that she has enough ammunitions, and then offers a revolver to the blonde woman. When the American doesn't grab it, Karlie sighs and says, "Pagan Min is attacking us. He wants _us_ , not you. Do you really think he wants to kill you?"

Taylor remains silent, and then the rebel lends her a bulletproof vest. Still, the older woman stands unmoving, not grabbing anything that Karlie offers her.

"Grab this, you will need it."

"It won't, because I'm not obliged to go out."

Karlie scoffs. "Do you want to stay here and _watch_ the beautiful show that the Royal Army has decided to put up? Fine, go ahead, but I will go out there, and I will fight for _my_ homeland."

The rebel is more than annoyed with Taylor's behavior, although she is trying as hard as she can to hide the fact that she is hurt. She has never expected this from Taylor, who is usually so driven and so fearless in these situations. The blonde glances at her, and Karlie seems to spot guilt inside of her sapphire eyes, but she ignores whatever passes through them next. The American watches her as Karlie slips her arms through the bulletproof vest, and readies herself to go outside and fight. The leaders seems to hesitate, as her hand hovers over the doorknob. Another gunshot, another cry for help. Another body that falls lifeless to the ground.

Taylor is still looking at her when she turns around. With disgust and a disappointed voice, before she exits, Karlie mutters, "I thought you were better than this. Apparently, I was wrong."

The door shuts behind her, and Taylor lets out the exasperated sigh she didn't know she was holding. The blonde woman, unable to look out the window any longer, moves away and sits on the cold sheets of her bed. Thousands of racing thoughts run through her head, almost making her go insane, but the one that stands out the most is the guilty feeling, that makes its presence known as it sits at the pit of her stomach. If there's one thing that she hates the most, it's disappointing other people and see the frustration all over their face. Karlie was clearly more hurt than disappointed; her face had made it clear to her. The leader's jade green eyes never leave her, not even when she closes her eyes upon hearing a bomb go off outside. _Karlie trusts me. I don't want to disappoint her. I don't want to disappoint anyone._ Taylor sighs, stares at the revolver on top of the wooden table for a moment, before she firmly stands up. There's a second, where she hesitates and her fingers don't immediately grab the weapon, but then a fire of determination burns inside her chest, and gritting her teeth, she finally grasps the handgun and quickly exits the shack.

She's painfully reminded of that January day, where everything was on fire and the smell of death was floating around her like ghosts. The wooden roofs are burning, and they fall disastrously on people's heads, killing them on the spot and stealing her breath away. Taylor's heartbeat suddenly picks up the pace, and her hands begin to quiver, her forehead marked with sweat and her brain stained with thousands of thoughts. If she didn't think clearly and quickly, someone would kill her in no time; therefore, she spots the first old, olive skinned man that needs help, and starts with helping him by shooting to the destructive person that was holding him hostage. The Royal Army's soldier falls lifeless to the ground, and the civilian immediately runs away while flailing his arms dramatically.

When she takes two more steps forward, the streets of Banapur look like a starry sky, dotted with dozens of dead corpses lying around and surrounding the destroyed shacks. A lump forms inside her throat, but pushes her emotions aside when she sees an enemy punching and harassing a poor woman, her child desperately trying to pull him away from his mother.

With shaking fingers, Taylor grabs her kukri from her knife rest and lunges towards the soldier, pushing the tip of her weapon inside his chest before he could notice her. The light blue color of her uniform is suddenly stained with his blood, its smell immediately invading her nostrils and making her swallow thickly. He seems to fight back, as his arms fly backwards in order to grab her. He pulls at her hair, but that only makes her push her kukri deeper inside his skin, finally killing him.

Taylor breathes sharply, looking at his body fall to the ground with a thud. Then, she feels the woman grab her free hand, her voice filling her ears, "Thank you so much, kind soul, thank you!"

There are unshed tears in her almond eyes, and the next thing she sees is her right hand, stained with the Royal Army's soldier's blood. It's sticky, and when she touches her uniform, the liquid stains the yellow bandana that was around her waist. Taylor quickly frees herself from the woman's grasp, and tells her to find refuge, to hide herself and her child before another soldier attacks her. The civilian nods and immediately seeks for a shelter, as the American stands still in the middle of the cobblestone street.

In the span of five minutes, Taylor arrives in the first section of the little town, killing other enemies and helping more people of Banapur. Her eyes were searching for Karlie, or at least for a familiar face, when suddenly they land on a person far away from her, standing opposite her. Taylor's brain realizes far too late what that soldier — archer — was doing; he was aiming at her, everything around them vanishing when suddenly she sees the tip of his arrow flying across the street, perfectly sinking into the skin of her abdomen. The collision takes her breath away, and the grasp around her revolves vanishes, as the weapon falls to the ground. Everything seems to slow down; the cries for help sounding far away and fuzzy, the soldiers around her running in slow motion, the thoughts in her head disappearing completely, the houses around her blurry. The immense urge of throwing up crushes her, her eyelids becoming heavy and her heartbeat slowing down.

Just when the American lifts her head to see her enemy, she sees a soldier of the Golden Path fighting with him, killing him with success. The archer falls to the ground, along with Taylor's knees as they give up in holding her up.

She sees her own hands, touching the dirty and gravel soil, but the movements are hazy and confused. She hears her own voice, begging for help before it is broken by a pained moan. The taste of blood reaches her tongue, before it stains the ground and the tip of her fingers. Taylor coughs, feeling completely helpless as the state of consciousness slips out of her grasp, her back now fully lying on the ground. The last thing her eyes see is the sky clouded with smoke, and in the distance she thinks she hears Karlie's desperate voice calling her name.

It is then that she completely passes out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, a really important part of Karlie's life is unveiled here!
> 
> Enjoy!

The chaotic atmosphere hanging around her leaves her unmoving, speechless. Powerless. Nurses, doctors surround the fragile body of the American, who has yet to wake up from the terrible state of unconsciousness she has fallen into. Karlie stands on the doorstep, the people moving around the infirmary in a hurry, medical supplies in their hands as they run towards Taylor's bed. The rebel's breath is shallow, her eyes never leaving the American's still face, sapphire orbs hidden behind closed lids. The only thing that keeps her sane is the constant, although slow, rise and fall of her abdomen, because, _that means she's alive, right? If she's alive, she's not dead, and that means that I haven't lost her yet._

Everything that is happening moves too quickly, but Karlie feels stuck, as if the time that passes is slower than the one that passes outside of her body. It reminds her of a person that she's lost years and years ago; although, the only difference was that she had died in front of her, while Taylor was still breathing. Taylor was still _alive_. With an arrow inside her abdomen, but _alive._

"Karlie, you need to leave,"

Sanjay is the one that tries to take her away from the scene unfolding before her eyes, and that's when the clock inside her head synchronizes with the one outside, hanging on the wall opposite her tall frame. The leader looks to her side, then to the hand grasping her arm. "I need to be here when she wakes up."

"She's still unconscious, we need to leave," the other rebel replies. "We need to let the doctors do their work."

Karlie firmly shakes her head. "No," she says. "I need to stay here. I need to _know_ that she'll be okay."

"She _will_ be okay, Karlie. We can't stay here," Sanjay tries again, pulling her arm along to drag her out of the infirmary, but Karlie stays glued to the spot. "Karlie," he warns. He sighs, and when the rebel doesn't acknowledge him, Sanjay adds quietly, "She's not _her_."

Karlie suddenly looks at him, unshed tears shining inside her jade green eyes, threatening to spill over and stain her cheeks. There's a look of understanding shared between their gazes, and the rebel clenches her jaw, now taking two steps backwards and exiting the almost suffocating infirmary. She hears nurses scream at other nurses to bring more blood, and she tries to erase its sound, still echoing inside her mind as they walk in the now dark streets of Banapur. The Golden Path had successfully repressed the attack, and fortunately there weren't as many victims as the last time. And yet, Karlie still feels like they've lost a battle.

"We'll wait here," Sanjay informs her, sitting down against the wall of a shop. The owner was sitting outside as well, but she was too distraught to even acknowledge their presence.

The older rebel could sense the leader's nervousness, seeing the way Karlie's fingers trembled as they played with the dirt on the ground. It was quiet around them, but every single civilian of Banapur was awake. Whether they were sitting outside of their shack to grieve their lost ones or they were outside, talking with others, everyone was awake. Although a lot of people had survived, the infirmary was full, filled with injured and burnt soldiers. Karlie closes her eyes, hearing the screams of the ones that were in pain, and for the first time in a while, Sanjay places his hand over hers and squeezes gently. When she looks at him, his gaze was lost somewhere else.

"I'm scared," she admits, and at her own admission, a single tear slips out of her right eye, landing on a treated wound on her forearm, as she sits with her knees slightly parted and her elbows sitting comfortably on top of them.

"I know, Karlie," Sanjay whispers. "I know."

Minutes slowly turn into an hour, and when other seventy seconds pass, a sudden, sharp and familiar scream breaks the silence of the night. Karlie immediately jumps at the sound, and ignoring Sanjay's warnings, she runs inside the infirmary. Her heart breaks at the sight of a pained Taylor, two nurses holding her arms and legs down as a surgeon operates her. The American's face was scrunched up in distress, her lips widened and her teeth firmly clenched, eyes hidden behind closed lids. She's crying, moaning and screaming as she tries to break free from the nurses' hold around her wrists and calves.

Sanjay is by her side within seconds, and when Karlie tries to move towards the hurt woman, the man stops her by holding her back.

"I need to see her! Let me go, I need to see her!"

"Karlie, stop!" he exclaims, pushing her away with all of his strength.

"I need to be there for her, Sanjay! I need to—,"

"Calm down, Karlie! We can't be here!"

Just when Karlie was about to reply and yell in his face, her eyes briefly going back to the blonde, she meets Taylor's gaze, and for just a moment — that seems to last forever — the American stops wiggling and screaming. But then, when the surgeon finally finishes his work, she's back at screaming, crying and sobbing like a toddler.

"Karlie, come on, we can't be here!" Sanjay yells in a whisper, dragging her out of the building just as Taylor momentarily slips into another state of unconsciousness.   
  
  
  


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The American's sapphire eyes open just as the first rays of the sunrise make their way through the ajar window of the infirmary. Karlie is by her side, lost within the maze of her thoughts, but immediately notices the other woman as she wakes up slowly. The lights are dim, the atmosphere calm, as all the patients sleep peacefully on the white beds surrounding Taylor's. The few nurses walk around, just to be sure that no one is in pain. Some relatives sit by their loved ones' bed, just like Karlie sits on the small stool beside Taylor's bed.

Everything is just so quiet, that the rebel is afraid to speak, as she listens to the birds chirp tentatively outside.

Taylor fully wakes up with a light moan, her lips parting into a quiet sigh as she shifts beneath the sheets. Her eyes look around, dazed and lost, and it takes them some time to finally land on the woman sitting beside her. Karlie smiles shyly, the corners of her mouth slightly raising. The leader glances at the blonde's limp hand, and without second thoughts, she reaches out and gently grabs it. Taylor is surprised by the action, as for the first time in a while, her mouth opens for words to get out.

"Where am I?"

Her voice is hoarse, deep, and it scratches the words as they escape from the bottom of her throat. Karlie quietly replies, "Infirmary," she pauses, before adding, "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted," Taylor replies. "Feel like a truck just run over me."

They share a light laugh, and Karlie's heart clenches as all the fears and concerns make themselves smaller inside her brain. The more Taylor stays awake and looks at her, the more Karlie feels lightweight. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

The American nods. "We had a fight, then the Royal Army attacked Banapur, and then a son of a bitch shot me with an arrow."

Karlie's breath hitches at the mention of their fight, and slightly blushes as she purses her lips and nods. "Good," she mutters. There's an awkward silence, as the leader suddenly finds the ivory sheets of the bed more interesting than the girl lying on top of them. Karlie continuously ruminates on what they had talked about hours prior, and wonders if Taylor will be packing her bags tonight and leave the country the next morning, despite its complexity.

The American quietly clears her throat, lightly moves her fingers between Karlie's just to try and gain her attention, then says, "I'm sorry,"

Her voice is so quiet that Karlie almost doesn't catch her words. Taylor looks guilty, timid waves of the ocean within her sapphire eyes staring at her expectantly. The leader momentarily loses herself in her gaze, as she shakes her head with a sigh and brings her stool closer to Taylor's bed. "It's okay," she replies, shrugging.

"No, I—," the blonde woman coughs gently. "I want to apologize. I was horrible to you, and you deserve an apology from me, Karlie. I just—I was really angry, about what I discovered, and I threw all my shit at the wrong person. I'm _sorry_."

Her words are sincere, and the sound of her voice is soft and calming, almost as calming as the sea inside of her eyes. Karlie nods understandingly, averting her gaze as the face of the woman lying before her painfully reminds her — somehow — of the one person she had lost four years prior. The leader wants to tell the American everything, from start to finish; why she was so private about her personal life, and why she was so against the idea of crying in public. Karlie hated showing her emotions outside of the safety of the loneliness that her shack provided, but now, with Taylor, all her walls crumble. Since the American's arrival, she found herself feeling more sensitive, and everything about the woman reminded her of her past, of her old demons that she had been so sure she had successfully buried in the darkness of her brain. What had happened today had brought too many memories back, and Taylor deserved to know the truth, even though she has been here only for two months.

"Her name was Lakshmana."

Karlie's voice cracks at just the mention of her name; she's sure she hasn't talked about her in _years_. Fortunately, Taylor doesn't say anything, and patiently waits for the leader to tell her more.

"She's the special person I lost four years ago. Remember when I talked to you about—when I had a troop and I had wanted to attack one of Pagan's outposts? Even though I perfectly knew that my soldiers weren't enough strong for that?"

Taylor nods quickly.

The leader continues, "It was that day when I lost Lakshmana. She was—," her voice trembles, and _damn, it's been four years. You can do this._ "—she was my girlfriend," her cheeks slightly turn pink. "I think that she was the love of my life, but we were young, and I was a stubborn soldier who just wanted to win the war and bring peace to this country. I met her—in 2014, four years after the civil war had started," Karlie scratches her chin and purses her lips. Taylor begins to draw small invisible circles across the skin of her hand, and the leader is grateful for the comforting touch. "We fell in love slowly. She was—this little ball of energy. Always smiling and putting other people's needs before her own. She had the most beautiful pair of brown eyes I had ever seen, and her hair was just so—dark and long. Her appearance was the opposite of her personality," a little laugh escapes her lips at the memory of her past lover. "I remember our first kiss. We were training, it was March, and the sun was shining. The Golden path had the South, and we were free. It was so quiet, I remember telling her— _We risk our lives so many times. I just can't keep this to myself anymore._ And then I kissed her. I kissed her and she—," her little smile vanishes. "She kissed me back," she chuckles quietly, and her eyes water slightly, as her gaze is lost somewhere between the wrinkled sheets on top of Taylor's abdomen. "We were together for one year, and I was _so_ scared all the time. I was so scared of losing her, that since I was the leader of the troop she was in, I almost told her that she couldn't fight anymore. I almost forbid her but—," Karlie sighs. "I didn't. I didn't do anything, I just kept overthinking that decision until—," she stops.

Taylor sees the hesitation inside her eyes, and quietly asks, "Until?"

Karlie licks her lower lip and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. "Until I lost her."

The American's eyes slightly lose their spark, and the corner of her lips turn downwards. Karlie frowns at the sight, and does her best to ignore the melancholy she feels as she recalls the day of Lakshmana's death. "What happened today—reminded me of her death. It was different, with her, because she died on the spot. A sniper had killed her in front of me, and—I like to think that she didn't feel pain, because she died so suddenly. I remember—watching her fall to the ground, with blood—," Karlie covers her eyes as soon as she feels a tear stain her cheek. She doesn't want Taylor to see her so weak. The American has seen her cry before, and she doesn't like the fact that the blonde has seen her cry so much in the span of just two months. "—with blood in her face. I was glued to the spot, and I was— _so_ numb. I didn't feel anything. Not a sound, not a movement. Nothing," she sighs. "When I reached her dead body, I cried on top of her until Sanjay dragged me away from her. And from that day, and after her funeral, I felt so guilty. So guilty that I gave up my troop and decided to—just be a soldier and help wherever I could."

Karlie lets out a silent whimper, tears freely streaming down her face as she places her forehead against the sheets, just a few centimeters away from Taylor's body. She cries quietly, glad that the blonde was alive and that that arrow hadn't killed her. Seconds pass, before she feels Taylor's hand lightly caress her hair, her fingers raking her brunette strands. It was nice, having someone touch her hair so as to calm her down. Karlie likes it, and it makes her nuzzle her head against the lump of Taylor's body, comfortably hidden beneath the white sheets. The leader cries for minutes, with the American gently stroking her hair, and nothing was wrong. Everything was okay, because she was alive. Taylor was alive, her hands running through her hair, and she was breathing. She was breathing, and her heart was beating.

"I'm so sorry," Taylor whispers. Karlie's cries quieten, as she lifts her head in order to meet the other woman's gaze. The look inside her sapphire eyes is so intense and soft at the same time, that Karlie feels a light pull in her heart. "For everything. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," the rebel replies, forcing a smile on her face. "I'm just—I'm glad you're okay now. I'm glad you're _alive_."

And she really was, because then Taylor smiles, the kind of smile that warms your heart, and for the first time in days, Karlie feels herself genuinely return the smile. 

* * *


	12. Chapter 10

Pagan Min's power over the _Golden Path_ seems to become smaller each day that passes. Outposts are conquered, less and less soldiers of the _Royal Army_ walk around the street, and the long, almost infinite bridge that separates the rebels from the North advances forward like a slow train. Taylor spends March helping others; sometimes she hunts, sometimes she goes with other rebels to the conquered outposts to check that there are no counterattacks from the _Royal Army._ March is a month that passes fast, like the wind does to a tree's branches. Before she knows it, the American realizes that she's been here for over three months now. Taylor thinks it's cool; that they're so close to the North, and therefore, close to victory. But Karlie disagrees; she says that Taylor is still too naïve and too careless to properly understand. The South was the easy part, the leader had said, but the North was as difficult as it was to tame an enraged group of lions. The soldiers were different; more insensitive, stronger, smarter. The ones that they had to fight against in the South were nothing compared to them. And then, there were very few rebels in the North. Utkarsh was the only city that truly mattered; the only city where civilians weren't treated like animals, and the only city where the hope of freedom was still living inside their blood.

The negative aspects of the North had dimmed Taylor's excitement. Perhaps, she was hoping that this would have been easier, that this would have ended sooner rather than later. But war wasn't like that. Violence wasn't like that, and she had to understand that, even though truth tasted bittersweet.

April comes with pink flowers and the disappearance of the snow from the sides of the streets. Taylor's hair is longer, just a little bit past her shoulder blades, and her face seems older, matured, refined with signs of fatigue, exhaustion, but also victory, happiness, and hope. She likes to walk along the streets, far from Banapur, and where nature was the only thing surrounding her. The air was warmer, but the breeze still gave her chills whenever it grazed the exposed skin of her neck. The wound in her abdomen doesn't hurt anymore, but it's still tender to the touch.

The sun shines, and it's a beautiful day. Some clouds cover it from time to time, but she doesn't mind. There's a little content smile dancing in her lips, because walking in this pathway, surrounded by trees with pink flowers, and the green grass, and nothing more, she feels like everything is truly going to be okay. The thought of Karlie sometimes graces her mind, and it's bittersweet. Their relationship has gotten deeper after that talk, where the leader had opened up about her past and told her how ugly her old demons were. The taller woman is still tentative and hesitant around her, but they're friends. _Good_ friends. When they fight side by side, they're a good, powerful team, and Taylor can only thank Karlie for that. And when they talk, sometimes at night, under the moonlight with nothing but peaceful silence and the beautiful nature surrounding them, the American feels like she's known her since forever. The little crush she had at the beginning of January has now developed, but for the sake of everyone and for their friendship, Taylor keeps it to herself. She doesn't want to ruin something that makes her feel so good and so carefree. She doesn't want to ruin something that is golden under the sun's light, and most important, she doesn't want to lose Karlie or make the dynamic between them awkward or weird. She's the first nice thing that has happened to her in _years_ , and between all those lies and blood and violence, she feels the need to protect their friendship, as if it's something too delicate for the world to see and interact with.

Although lost inside her mind, Taylor still hears the light sound of footsteps and soft cries of help coming from in front of her.

Alarmed, she quickly pulls out the pistol from her holster, and holds it before her between shaky fingers. It could be nothing, but the more she moves forward, the more the noise intensifies, until she reaches a tiny, wooden shack in the middle of the forest and spots three innocent civilians on their knees, with their hands tied behind their backs. They look like a family; the father, the mother, and their little daughter. The first one to notice Taylor is the young girl, who immediately opens her mouth to ask for her help, but then the American — right when she was about to run to them and unfasten the rope around their wrists and set them free — feels a gun against her temple, and her blood freezes inside her veins.

"Put it down."

The accent and the deep, male voice shakes her to the core. Taylor thinks about catching him off guard by kicking him between his legs, but then three other soldiers come out and appear in front of her, each of them aiming a weapon towards the American.

"I said, _put_ it down."

Taylor stares at the bearded, olive skinned man standing before her. He doesn't look familiar, and his red uniform isn't the same as the one that the _Royal Army_ soldiers of the South wear. _Are they from the North? But if they're here, does that mean that_ —

"Listen to them, sweetheart."

Taylor's heart stops. Her eyes, wide and scared, slowly move to her right side, and there he is. Looking more elegant than ever, with his usual pink suit and blond, perfectly combed hair; Pagan Min. _Her_ father. _Is this a trap?_ Still, Taylor languidly lowers her gun to the ground, never averting her eyes from the stylish man that is the King of Pradesh. Taylor feels the light blue uniform tighten around her backside, and she wishes she didn't hear the quiet snicker coming from the man behind her. She blushes, feeling slightly violated, and tries to sound as intimidating as possible, as she asks, "What do _you_ want, Pagan?"

The King feigns hurt, as he says, "Oh, am I just Pagan to you? You can call me _dad_ , darling, you know?"

Taylor feels the urge to throw up — or to run away as fast as possible — but she doesn't. She stays still with her hands hanging limply by her sides. The men surrounding her make her slightly agitated, and she suddenly wishes she had taken someone else with her.

"What do you _want_?"

The man scoffs, and walks to stand in front of her, blocking her vision from looking at the hostages, who whimper quietly.

"I just wanted to talk with my _daughter_ —," he says it with so much venom, "—who apparently lost her mind."

"Let them go," she demands, referring to the family. "Please, they've done nothing to you."

Pagan Min snickers. "You are already begging without being asked to,"

"Let them go," she repeats. Looking into the man's eyes, she sees millions of innocent people's death, and she can almost hear their screams of pain and their cries of grief. She wonders how many people he has killed in the past.

"Let me just ask you a question," he begins. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" she asks back, confused.

"Why are you helping those _monkeys_?"

Taylor feels her anger flaring up like the lava inside a volcano, ready to spill over the edges. "They're _not_ monkeys. They're people. _Good_ people."

Pagan Min hardens his stare, remaining quiet. "Listen," he sighs. "Don't make me use violence on you, alright, darling? Your face is too pretty to be stained by blood—,"

"Don't talk to me like that, you _asshole_ ,"

It's the one phrase that makes her lose control, and as soon as she raises her hand to push him away from her personal space, a strong arm wraps around her middle and drags her backwards, before a fist comes in contact with her face. It's a hard blow, and she feels her ears ring and sees the world slightly spin. Pagan has a look of annoyance on his face, as Taylor immediately wipes the blood coming from her nose.

"You know, when I saw you for the first time, when you were just a little girl wrapped in the arms of your mother, I didn't know you would become such a bitch. You're rude, and you just like to mess with the wrong people," Pagan says, advancing forward.

"Piece of shit, you killed thousands of people! You killed families, _innocent_ lives! You can't just say _that_ to me!"

The King shakes his head, feigning sympathy as he looks at the young woman.

"You should learn when to shut up, sweetheart."

Taylor doesn't understand the meaning of his statement until a knee hits her from the back and makes her fall forward. She feels all the air in her lungs suddenly vanish, as she gasps for air and closes her hands into fist. Another blow is thrown from her side, and defeated, she lies on her back, eyes closed shut and teeth clenched. The taste of blood feels familiar inside her mouth, and she sees the three soldier standing around her, as one of them firmly punches her face. More red liquid flows from her nose, as now a new cut in her eyebrow marks the side of her face with blood. Her head spins, every part of her body aches as more kicks make her squirm in pain.

"Your words have _consequences_ , and I hope this will make you learn something," Pagan says. She hears half of his words, her eyelids becoming heavy, but then a hand grasps her hair and tugs it, lifting her up. Two other arms hold her steadily, and just when the other soldier stands before the hostages, aiming at them with his gun, she understands what was about to happen.

"No," she mutters. "No, no, no, no, stop!"

Her words vanish into nothing, as the loud sound of shots fill the silence. Her screams follow, as she tries to break free from the soldier's grasp, but it's too late. The mother, the father, and most important, the daughter, are now gone. "No! No, no, NO!" she exclaims, but the more she attempts to free herself, the more the grip in her hair tightens. The pain she feels is indescribable, but tears still stream down her cheeks. Another fist makes contact with her jaw, and she splits blood on her light blue uniform. The sight of her yellow bandana marked with the red liquid makes her head spin and heart ache, but then the hand in her hair tugs it once again, and Pagan Min's face comes into view.

He shakes his head, perhaps in disappointment, and his finger brushes against Taylor's cheekbone. She wants to spit on his face, make him feel embarrassed, but she doesn't have any strength left.

"Oh, dear," he mutters, and she replies with a defeated whimper. "You're on the wrong side of the story, my daughter. You shouldn't have gotten involved in business that is not yours," he caresses her cheek, and for a moment, for a single, brief moment, she feels the love of a father in his touch. Tired blue eyes look into his. "After all—Ishwari didn't send you here for this, right?"

It's the last thing Pagan tells her, before his malicious eyes move upwards. He tilts his head to the side, before standing up and walking away. Taylor wants to follow him, but then the side of a gun hits her temple, and it makes her eyes roll in the back of her brain, as everything suddenly turns into pitch black.  
  
  


-  
  
  
  
  


"What is going on between you and Taylor?"

"What?"

Karlie is taken aback, halting her movements and hanging her arms limply by her sides. She used to train with Sanjay all the time, ever since the _Golden Path_ was created, and it's an habit that still hasn't gone away. It's nice to keep in shape, to feel her muscles sore after a long day of strenuous work. Although the other rebel is much more older than her, she feels like he's the brother she has never had. Their relationship is one of the most unbreakable things she's had for her entire life, and has a quality that her other friendships hasn't; infinite loyalty. Sooner or later, all the people surrounding Karlie have always betrayed her, and trusting someone has become difficult with each lie that reached her ears.

"What's going on between you and Taylor?" Sanjay repeats.

The leader gulps and turns her back to the man. She plays with the objects on the table, looking out at the gravel street that leads to Banapur. The town is quiet, peaceful, the only sounds being the calm chatter of civilians and the music coming from the radio a few feet away from them.

"There's nothing," she replies firmly, unnecessarily moving the wooden bow on the other side of the table. She hears Sanjay let out a hearty chuckle, standing behind her.

"Of course there is," he says matter of factly. "You fight like this only when you're in love or when someone's on your mind way _too_ much,"

"What are you—,"

"Listen," the man interrupts her. Karlie turns and faces him, seeing only sincerity and warmth within his eyes. The wrinkles underneath them raise slightly when he smiles, "I'm not judging you. Taylor is a beautiful and selfless woman. If you have anything going on, I support it."

The leader waits a moment, before adding, "I feel like there's a but to all of this,"

Sanjay tilts his head to the side playfully. "But you must be careful. Remember what happened last time."

Karlie's eyes darken at the subtle mention of Lakshmana. She lowers her gaze and mutters darkly, "I know. Don't need to remind me,"

"Sorry," he apologizes, sounding way too sorry. He licks his cracked lips and scratches the back of his neck. There's a mischievous glint glowing in his brown eyes, as he asks, "So—there _is_ something."

"There's not," Karlie keeps on denying. She blushes when she sees the look on his face; he doesn't believe her one bit. The younger rebel sighs, "She's attractive, but that doesn't mean that I like her _that_ way. Plus, I don't want her to—," she swallows an annoyed groan. "I don't want her to finish like Lakshmana," she pauses. "So, no. I don't like her. There's nothing romantic between us, Sanjay."

The man lifts his hands in surrender. "Alright, chief. If you say so,"

Karlie's lips widen in a small smile, "Come on, don't call me—,"

Their conversation is interrupted by a light blue technical car hastily moving along the road, stopping just a few feet away from the entrance. There's an uneasy feeling as Karlie eyes the vehicle, not seeing just yet the person that was driving it so carelessly. The leader looks at the other rebels, now standing near them, attracted by the ruckus that the terrible driver has caused. The old women working in the field stop what they're doing just to watch the scene unfold before them, as finally, the door opens and the sound of a body falling to the ground fills the silence.

The rebel that has the task to control who goes and who comes in town immediately assists the person exiting the car, and the blood in Karlie's veins freezes when he yells, "It's Ajay's _daughter_!"

The leader and Sanjay share an alarmed look, before the brunette woman runs to them. She stops moving when she almost stumbles upon Taylor's body, who's knelt on the ground. However, just when the American raises their head and meets her eyes with a pleading gaze does she notice that her figure is covered in bloody injuries.

"Oh—what the hell happened?"

She tells the other rebel to move, that she would take care of this and to tell the doctor that an urgent patient was coming. Karlie kneels to the ground, her hands holding Taylor from beneath her armpits. It's an awkward position, and she does her best to wrap the American's arms around her own body. "Taylor, are you okay?"

Her heart clenches in her chest when she sees how many cuts there are in her face; her bottom lip, quivering, bleeds, along with her eyebrow and a smaller wound in her forehead. One of her eyes is swollen, a clear sign that someone has punched her in a hard way. The American whimpers when Karlie tries to lift her body up from the ground. Her light blue uniform is ragged and has little holes scattered all over her legs.

"It—hurts," Taylor whispers against her ear when the leader is able to take her in her arms. She carries the girl through the now crowded streets, and notices the old women of the city worriedly watch them, their husbands wrapping their arms around them.

"He—killed _all_ of them. He killed all of _them_ because of _me_ ," Taylor quietly cries. Karlie breathes harshly, hearing Taylor moan in pain for every step she takes towards the infirmary.

A doctor and three nurses are already waiting for them when she enters the small building, and she strides along the pavement, reaching an empty hospital bed and carefully laying the American's delicate body on top of the ivory sheets.

"Jai, you need to go. We need to take her clothes off and see how bad the damage is," the olive skinned doctor informs her. He pauses, briefly glances at the woman, and quietly asks, "Do you know what happened to her?"

Karlie shakes her head. "No. I don't know."

"Alright," he says. "I'll let you know when you can come back."

This time, the leader obediently exits the infirmary and waits outside with Sanjay, while the rest of the city goes back to what they were doing. She tries to be optimistic, to not let the anger get the best of her, but as soon as she's alone with her best friend, she mutters, "Whoever did this to her—I will kill them, I swear—,"

"Karlie," Sanjay warns her, placing a hand over her tense shoulder. "There's no need to be like this. We don't know what happened,"

"Someone beat her, Sanjay! You didn't—hear the moans of pain she let out every time I so much as took a step. I—,"

"It's okay, Karlie," the man holds both of her shoulders, now standing in front of her. "The doctor will fix this. It will be okay."

The leader is even more mad when she feels the stinging of tears knock at the doors of her jade green eyes. Karlie feels guilty, knowing that somehow it was her fault if Taylor had been punched like that. If she had been there, wherever she was, to help her, maybe the American wouldn't be in so much pain now. She angrily wipes her cheeks, and walks away from him. She takes a deep breath, the image of Taylor haunting her whenever she closes her eyes.

"It will be okay, Karlie," Sanjay repeats, giving her space. No one is looking at them; offering them the privacy that they need. The man thinks about the conversation that they had moments before Taylor had arrived, and starts to believe that Karlie had told him a lie. "Everything will be okay."

Sanjay keeps telling her the same statement over and over again, until the sun sets and the doctor comes out of the infirmary, telling them that Taylor was okay and awake. Karlie immediately runs inside, looking for the American's bed: and, when she finds it, she eagerly sits on the stool beside it. She tentatively takes her hand in hers, and doesn't squeeze until Taylor is the one to do it.

When she looks up, there's a small comforting smile dancing on the blonde's lips. "Hey,"

Karlie bites her lip, recalling that memory of a month ago, when she had been on the same position. The same feelings were coursing through her veins, but back then they were less intense, less loud. Now — fright, worry, concern and anxiety — they were all amplified, more vibrant as they make her heart beat rapidly against her chest. "How are you feeling?"

Taylor shifts in her bed and closes her eyes. "A little bit better now,"

"Good," Karlie nods. There's a flicker of curiosity within Taylor's sapphire eyes, and the leader goes on, "Do you—remember what happened? Who did this to you?"

Every emotion immediately slips out of her gaze and runs out of the room as the American frowns. It seems like the question has brought back too many memories, as if the scars and pain around her body don't remind her that something bad had just happened to her. Taylor retracts her hand from Karlie's, and the rebel tries to hide her disappointment by pursing her lips and waiting for a reply.

"I—," Taylor stammers, intertwining her fingers on top of her abdomen. " _He_ did this. It was a trap—he killed all of them. Every single one of them."

Karlie gazes at her, confused. "Taylor, what are you talking about? You're making zero sense."

When the American turns to look at her, blue eyes are filled with tears. "I was walking calmly in the woods when I—stumbled upon a family. They were held hostages but there was no one! I swear there was no one, but then—out of nowhere, four—or three, I don't remember—soldiers of the Royal Army appear in front of me and start to beat me. Then, ugh," Taylor groans, covering her face when a single tear rolls down the slope of her cheek. "—there was Pagan. He was there, and basically threatened me. He told me that, apparently, I had lost my mind and that I was doing the wrong thing."

Karlie's lips part. "Pagan did this to _you_?"

"No, not him," Taylor tiredly shakes her head. "His soldiers. He told me that my words had consequences, then went on to kill the family in front of me and obliged me to watch. Then he just—he let his soldiers do this to me. I think I passed out, and then, when I opened my eyes again, the family was gone along with Pagan and his _stupid_ soldiers,"

The leader stares at her, dumbfounded. No words come to her, as her jade green eyes focus on a particularly purple blotch on Taylor's neck. Anger flows in her veins and it makes her want to go out, look for Pagan and kill him with her own hands. But something stops her, and only when she looks down does she realize that it's Taylor's hand.

"Are you okay?" the American asks. She looks worried, and Karlie almost laughs. _I should be the one worried, here._

"Yeah—just angry."

"Sorry,"

"It's not your fault,"

When Karlie looks up, she's flooded by Taylor's beauty. It's scary how much the American's delicacy amazes her, even when there are bloody cuts littering her face and dark patches of skin covering her whole body. Her sapphire eyes are still the most gorgeous eyes she's seen in her entire life, and she momentarily gets lost in the softness of their gaze. While there's a calm ocean floating inside them, Karlie's sure that instead there is a storm within her own.

The leader quickly looks away, feeling quite vulnerable under such a tender, delicate yet intense stare. She feels a blush color her cheeks, and tries to suppress the feeling that is blooming inside her chest like the pink flowers on the trees outside. Karlie's stubborn mind makes her utter her next words, "I should go back to my training, and you should go back to sleep. Rest."

Taylor just looks at her, licks her dry bottom lip and nods weakly. "Will I see you later?"

Karlie hesitates. "Of course," she replies softly. Her gaze accidentally falls down on the American's plump lips, and swallowing thickly she adds, "Sleep, now."

The blonde gifts her with a smile, closes her eyes, and soon falls into a deep slumber. Karlie goes back outside, but when she and Sanjay go back to their training session, her brain can't help but think about the pleasant yet unexpected feeling that is growing inside her chest.


	13. Chapter 11

Two, little outposts are left between the Golden Path and the Bridge. It seems surreal, to Karlie; how, in little time, the rebel movement has grown so much and has conquered so many important positions all over the country. The leader is grateful for Taylor's presence, for how the American has literally gave Pradesh a flicker of hope in the middle of the darkness that Pagan Min's tyranny caused. Karlie never expected all of this; she never expected the South to be (almost) theirs. She never expected to be so close to the King, after years and years of oppression. However, she never expected to grow feelings for the woman who has made all of this possible. They weren't as innocent as she liked to believe, because whenever Taylor wasn't there, she felt lonely. She felt as if there were a puzzle piece missing, and she hated to admit it to herself, but she didn't _ask_ for this. After Lakshmana, she had promised herself that she wouldn't have fallen in love again, at least not when there was still a war going on outside their windows. Not when the world was falling apart around her. Still, she remembers the first time her heart had made that leap of faith, when her heart had made her whole body tremble with want and longing for a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and perfect, full lips. Karlie remembers how she had gone to Lakshmana's temple, feeling like she was cheating on her past lover and had asked for forgiveness. She remembers the silence that had followed her prayer; how hard it had been to get up and walk the way back to Banapur. And then, there are Sanjay and Ashawary, her right-hand men, her most loyal soldiers and friends, who keep on teasing her about this little crush. They were happy for her, because they hadn't seen her so euphoric in years.

"Look at her, she's just so charming," Sanjay jokes, nudging her arm and smirking. Ashawary chuckles beside them. The olive skinned woman has short, raven hair, and crosses her arms, looking amused by the scene unfolding beside her.

The Golden Path, even though there were still two outposts left to conquer, had decided to celebrate at one of the recent positions they had captured. It was rather far from Banapur, near the mountains, therefore even though it was April, it was still a little bit too cold. The outpost was small, and there were less than twenty civilians there with the rebels, who were even less. They had built a little bonfire, and they had gathered around it to talk and to have fun. The trio, which consisted of Karlie, Sanjay and Ashawary, are all looking at Taylor, who is timidly having a conversation with three old ladies. The American was a giant beside them, and the thought makes Karlie laugh.

"So?" she replies, raising her brows at her two friends. "Good for her,"

Ashawary narrows her brown eyes. "Go, otherwise they will steal her from you," the woman teases.

"Stop," Karlie says, trying to sound serious but failing miserably when a laugh bubbles out of her throat. "It's just a little crush that will go away with time. Alright? Don't embarrass me,"

"Loud and clear, chief," Sanjay giggles.

Karlie rolls her eyes, and then with a shake of her head says, "I will go and sit down now. You might join me if you want,"

The three friends finally sit at the bonfire, and an old man gives them some food, thanking them for their service to the country. Karlie eats quietly, briefly glancing at Taylor from time to time. She's surprised when, after a whole of ten minutes, the American finally finds a seat beside her. Taylor greets them with a cheerful smile and glowing sapphire eyes, and the sight almost makes the brunette dizzy. After all that has happened to her, the scars that decorate her body make her even the more beautiful.

"Bhadra, that old woman over there, has told me that she would like to hear me play the guitar, since her son has one," Taylor says after a while, gazing at the woman beside her. Karlie's jade eyes briefly widen at the mention of the instrument, but she has no opportunity to speak because the old woman appears in front of them with, in fact, a wooden guitar.

"Here it is, young girl," the wrinkles underneath her eyes underline her happiness, as her eyes narrow because of the wide smile growing on her lips. The civilians and the rebels, upon seeing that a performance was about to happen, gather around the fire and wait for Taylor to start playing. The American shyly blushes under such scrutiny and attention, but nevertheless starts strumming the instrument with nimble fingers. The woman plays songs that Karlie has never heard in her entire life, and her heart swells when Taylor's voice begins to accompany the soft tunes. The leader's vision blurs, because she's — once again — painfully reminded of Lakshmana. Her dead lover used to love playing the guitar, and sometimes she composed songs and lyrics, just for Karlie, who was the muse behind the words of her songs. The passion within Taylor's sapphire eyes makes the leader smile and lovingly stare at the beautiful woman, who finishes playing shortly after. Finally, all the attention from the crowd moves away from the American, but still, Karlie keeps on gazing at her, amazement within her jade green eyes. When Taylor notices, she blushes even more and shyly asks, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

The leader quickly recovers, smiling and blinking rapidly. "Nothing. You just reminded me of—," Karlie breathes shakily. "—someone who used to play the guitar."

Recognition seems to appear within Taylor's blue eyes, but fortunately, she says nothing and nods with a small smile playing on her lips.

The rest of the night passes by rather quickly for Karlie's liking, and once it is all over, the leader decides to lend Taylor a lift. The pair sits quietly inside the light blue technical car, with the American looking out the window and occasionally craning her neck in order to stare at the stars above them. Ever since she discovered her little crush for the woman sitting beside her, Karlie feels nervous and hesitant whenever Taylor's nearby: and now that they are finally alone after what feels like an eternity, the rebel briefly glances at the American, just to make sure that she's doing alright.

"Did you have fun tonight?" she asks, only to make small talk with the blonde. When Taylor turns around to face her, she smiles.

"I did," she replies. "Actually, I had a lot of fun playing the guitar. It's been a while, so I was a little scared that I was going to mess up,"

"What? You didn't mess up. You were great, you were— _awesome_ ," Karlie compliments her a little too quickly. Even though it's dark and the only lights present are the car's lights and the moon, Karlie spots a faint blush on Taylor's cheeks.

"Thanks," Taylor says. Her features darken slightly, "My ex hated when I played the guitar."

The leader scoffs. "He didn't have ears then. You're excellent, trust me."

There's a hint of amusement on Taylor's face, but Karlie almost crashes against a tree when the American corrects her, " _She_ didn't have ears."

The rebel tries to recover from her shock when she stutters, "What?"

"You said he. I—it was my ex-girlfriend, the one who hated when I played the guitar."

"Oh,"

There's an awkward silence, as Karlie processes Taylor's words while the American sits quietly by her side. The leader hadn't expected for someone so gorgeous to be into _girls_. Taylor looked straight, she seemed to act straight, but apparently, Karlie was wrong. And she should be happy about this, but this only confirms her that her crush could be reciprocated. She grips the steering wheel a little bit tighter, and clears her throat. The American doesn't seem nervous, nor awkward, as she plays with the fingers sitting on her lap. Fortunately, they reach Banapur before Karlie could say something she would regret later, but then, just when she was about to open the door and go back to her own shack, Taylor's slim fingers wrap around her wrist and stop her.

"Wait,"

When Karlie turns to face her, her heart picks up the pace, because she was _so_ , awfully beautiful that she takes her breath away. The moonlight swimming freely within her sapphire eyes, plump lips slightly parted, and hesitant gaze.

"Are you okay?"

The leader thinks she's about to be kissed for the first time after years and years, when Taylor lightly leans in and her stare flickers down onto her thin lips. But then, the American nods, and speaks quietly, "I have to go back to the USA."

Her entire world crumbles, and she feels like someone had stabbed her. "What?" she asks, confused, sounding almost breathless.

"It's not because—I don't like it here, it's not that, actually, I think it's great here. But—the other day I received a letter," Taylor sighs. "It was from my grandmother. She told me that she has just a few days left, and she wants me to be there with her. She has no one, I kept her company for so long, and she's my _entire_ family. I can't leave her now, when she needs me the most,"

Karlie sits there, mouth parted in bewilderment as she stares at the blonde woman. "Oh," she says for the second time. "I'm—sorry to hear that."

"It's okay."

The leader recovers from the initial scare, and says, "Well, when are you going to go back?"

"As soon as possible, like—tomorrow."

The leader nods slowly, as if in a trance. "Well—,"

"I already packed my things, I didn't have a lot here. But I need to go back. Please,"

Karlie doesn't understand why Taylor is begging her. "Of course you can go back," the leader says, and when the American doesn't utter a word, she knows she expects something more from the rebel. "You will—you will come back, right?"

She feels stupid asking this, because the selfish part of her brain wants Taylor all to herself, while the patriotic side wants Taylor for the safety and hope of the country.

"Yeah," Taylor smiles. "Of course I will. I just need to be there when she—when she dies."

Karlie nods, averting her eyes and looking at the American's fingers still delicately wrapped around her wrist. "Well, do you need help? I can take you to the airport tomorrow morning. Pagan doesn't have that part of Pradesh, so we're lucky. But I want you to be safe, and I need to be there when you leave,"

Taylor hesitates, before she calmly nods and grins. "Yeah. Thank you,"

"No problem,"

They stare a little bit longer, before Taylor finally breaks the spell over them and tells her that she needs to rest. Karlie watches her go, biting her lip as she notices how the fabric of the blonde's light blue uniform pants are too tight around her backside. She mentally smacks herself, and then, when silent minutes pass, she finally gets out of the car and goes back to her shack.   
  
  
  


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"You can come back whenever you're ready. The pilot will stay there in the USA, along with the airplane,"

"Thank you,"

It is six in the morning, and the airport — which consists of nothing but a couple of buildings following the length of the long, large airstrip and two guard towers, each of which held an armed sniper round the clock — is deserted, apart from the five rebels that have control over the place. The pilot is making sure that the small, grey airplane is ready for takeoff, and Taylor's luggage are already loaded inside the aircraft.

Karlie pushes her fists inside the pockets of her light blue uniform, and takes a big, deep and steading breath. There's a subtle tension between the two women, as they stand one in front of the other, shy glances thrown at the other's way. "So," the leader begins, briefly looking at the airplane ten feet away from them. "I will see you soon, I guess?" there's a hopeful flicker within her voice, and Taylor's cheeks slightly blush.

"Yeah," the blonde replies. "I hope so,". They stay there a little bit longer, before the American adds, "I've never really experienced death first hand. I mean—when Ajay died I wasn't here, and when my mother died, I really didn't know her that well. I never—my grandmother is my whole family, and I don't know how I will feel after her death."

Karlie smiles sadly, quietly sighing, "Death is never fun. It takes a little piece of your heart, but when you lose a lot of people that mean _everything_ to you—you kind of get used to it. You become stronger, you build a shelter around you," the rebel averts her eyes. "When I lost my parents, I cried for weeks. I fell, hard, and I was sure that I would have never been able to get up again. Then, Lakshmana died, along with other soldiers that were important to me. But _then_ , every time that I got up from the pain, from the sadness and grief, I was stronger than before. I didn't let death drag me down. I couldn't do that, because—I had to be strong. For the people that I had lost. And I had to stay alive, _for_ them."

Taylor purses her lips, nods and swallows the lump in her throat. "Thank you."

Karlie's lips turn upwards into a shy smile, and one of her hands finds the American's shoulder. She squeezes it gently, the fabric of Taylor's black sweatshirt wrinkling underneath her fingertips. "It will be okay. I promise."

The blonde nods, and right in that moment the pilot breaks the atmosphere between them and informs them that the airplane is ready.

"Alright," the rebel sighs and almost takes a step back, but then Taylor's arms are pulling her in a soft embrace. The height difference between them allows Karlie to place her head on top of the American's, and the leader closes her eyes when the scent of flower shampoo fills her nostrils. Her own arms circle her waist and hold her tightly, even for just a few seconds. Taylor is the one to break the hug, pulling away from Karlie's neck and gifting her with a parting smile. There is a light blush on both of their faces, as the blonde finally walks towards the aircraft. The pilot holds her hand as she gets inside, beside the pilot's seat. Taylor wears a pair of headphones, and engages in a friendly conversation with the pilot sitting beside her, and Karlie watches her lips form words that she can't hear. The rebels beside her wave at the two, as the airplane starts and begins to move forward. Taylor and Karlie lock eyes one last time, before the plane finally takes off and slowly flies to the sky, helped by the soft and warm, spring breeze. 


	14. Taylor's Journal, April 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's another page from Taylor's Journal. Do you like these types of update? I really enjoy writing Taylor's point of view. Please, tell me what you think in the comments and don't forget to leave some kudos! Anyway, in the next chapters there are going to be revealed some past scars, so stay tuned!
> 
> As always, I love you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading.

TAYLOR'S JOURNAL, APRIL 2020  
**New York City**

  
_Going back to the USA was strange. When I got off the plane, I expected soldiers with red uniforms to come and attack us. But then, I looked down at my clothes and saw a black sweatshirt and dark jeans instead of light blue and hopeful yellow, and realized that there was no civil war, here in New York. The streets weren't as dangerous, the air wasn't as cold and pure, and people weren't as poor._

_The pilot helped me with my luggage, and with an extremely weird feeling sitting at the pit of my stomach, I called a taxi and went back to my apartment, where Anika, my grandmother, lived. It's been four months, and the first thing she did when she saw me was pull me in and hug me tightly. I was afraid to touch her, to hurt her, so I simply placed my hands on her arms and told her I loved her. Anika didn't look that ill; she was pale, her breath was a little ragged, but she was still an old woman. She didn't tell me what disease was slowly killing her, but I didn't want to get the details. I just wanted to be there, with her, hold her hand and laugh about everything and nothing._

_The first day we just stayed inside the house; she lied down on the couch and I sat in front of her, on a chair, and combed her hair, as if she was a little girl who wanted braids. The sound of traffic was unfamiliar to me, and slightly unpleasing. I had been so used to the peaceful silence of Pradesh, that I had taken it for granted._

_Anika asked me about Pradesh; starting from the nature, to the people, and then, to the rebel movement. I didn't tell her about the truth that I had discovered, because I didn't want to fight nor put her under pressure. But I told her about the new leader instead. How she is driven, and down to earth, and so kind and gentle. I told her about Karlie for long minutes, until I finally stopped and she looked at me._

_Anika said to me, "Do you like this girl?"_

_And I replied immediately, "Of course I like her. She's great."_

_Of course I was playing dumb. Of course I knew she didn't mean it that way. After Dianna, I was delicate. Frail. And she was just worried about me. But the look in her eyes when she repeated the question told me that she knew that I was lying to myself. And that I still hadn't admitted that I liked Karlie, as more than a friend._

_We never talked about the leader of the Golden Path, after that conversation. Our time was spent in silence, or talking about what happened in the city, or what was shown on the television. I enjoyed staying with her. Anika has always been a solar person, but the more days passed, the more I saw that light vanish. She was disappearing in front of my eyes, and I felt so powerless. Because I couldn't hold onto her hand and hope that death couldn't take her away from me. Sooner or later, she would join Ajay, and then my mother. And then I would be alone. No family waiting for me._

_I cried tears of pain and sorrow in the loneliness of my bedroom, which now seemed to belong to someone that I didn't know. I was so different before this trip, that when I entered my room I thought that I was in the wrong house. The pictures hanging on my walls were with friends that now didn't care about me anymore. The grinning face of my ex-girlfriend haunted me, because it was a smile that now belonged only to heaven. And then there was my guitar. Black, like the feeling burning inside my heart._

_I played that instrument to my grandmother the third night, and she fell asleep to the sound of my voice._

_And, as night came, and I looked out the window, I realized that everything was just so different._


	15. Chapter 12

Karlie misses her. The feeling blooms in her chest exactly three days after Taylor's departure. It is bittersweet, and it makes her heart ache with a longing she's never felt. She knows that the American will come back, whether it be in one week or in one month. However, the leader can't help but feel empty without the blonde by her side. She misses seeing her face almost every day, she's grown so used to it that it is strange and unusual now, not coming back to Banapur and meet the older woman at the bottom of the stairs. She misses the sound of her laugh, whether it be high pitched and a little bit shrilling, or low and as soft as a flower's petal. The one thing she misses the most is her voice; quiet when she's shy, loud when she's a little bit too excited about something, and deep when she's mad or upset. And then, there were her eyes; sparkling like diamonds under an ocean of golden locks. Taylor was so different from Lakshmana; while her past lover was small and always showed her determination, the American was almost as tall as her and timid. Lakshmana had brown hair, while Taylor was blonde. Lakshmana had dark eyes, while Taylor's were blue. Lakshmana reminded her of a gloomy winter night, while Taylor reminded her of a spring, sunny day. They were opposites. But Karlie was still attracted to everything about the American. Despite all the fears of making the same mistake twice, the anxiety, time only made her feelings for Taylor grow, instead of disappear into the wind. She wasn't sure if there was a possibility that these said feelings were mutual, but she didn't want to think about that, now. Not when her friendship with Taylor was enough to make her day a little bit better.

"Karlie? Are you there?"

"Huh? What?"

Sanjay sighs, perhaps a little bit annoyed at the leader's lack of attention. "I said that there are three snipers. We need to take them down and then attack the outpost. Is that clear?"

Karlie nods, a little bit fazed by how her mind is intoxicated with thoughts surrounding the American. It's been a week and a half, and Taylor had yet to come back from the USA. "Yeah, it's clear. Where are _our_ snipers?"

The other rebel blinks rapidly. "Karlie," he says calmly, his forehead slightly furrowed. " _You_ are our sniper today. It's the last outpost of the South. You said you wanted this part of the plan."

The woman's jade eyes widen a little. "Oh, yeah. Right,"

They stay there, lying on the grass on top of a cliff, where they have a great view of the outpost they need to conquer. When Karlie looks back at their goal, she perfectly spots the three guards she needs to silently kill, but Taylor's chirpy laugh still echoes at the back of her mind.

"Are you alright?"

The leader knits her eyebrows while she prepares the weapon beneath her right arm. "Yeah. Why?"

Her eye looks into the telescopic sight, and tries to ignore the rapid pulse beating against her ribcage. She feels Sanjay's eyes on her, and it makes her nervous. He can't possibly interrogate her about what's on her mind, _now_ , in front of dozens of other rebels, while they are on one of the most important missions, _right_?

"Nothing."

As Karlie suspected, and hoped, the rebel doesn't utter a word regarding the American.

"Whenever you want, chief,"

His voice is professional, almost distant, and Karlie tells herself that they would have a long talk as soon as they get back to Banapur. Her index finger shakes slightly, as it hovers over the trigger. She makes sure that the silencer is perfectly aligned with the grey barrel, and when the enemy's head coincides with the tiny red dot inside the gunsight, she fires. The bullet falls beside her forearm, and Karlie releases a shaky breath as a dead body falls to the ground, without anyone noticing. The rebels kneeling behind her are tensed, as well as the one lying beside her, but she takes a deep breath as she focuses on her second target.

It takes her three minutes to take down all the snipers, and Sanjay is the one that silently runs down the cliff towards the outpost. He is followed by the other rebels, and Karlie momentarily hesitates, as she watches another battle begin before her own eyes.

The sounds of blasphemies and shots drown the happy voice and contagious laugh inside her head, and the sight of blood and open wounds make Taylor's face disappear from the forefront of her mind.

Karlie fights, and fights, and fights, until the body that falls to the ground is the last one. Delighted screams fill the silence, and euphoric smiles dance on everyone's faces. Some rebels hug each other, while others have fun shooting at the sky with their shotguns, yelling like crazy kids. The leader enjoys the sight, and she can't help but wish Taylor could be here right now, to see the happiness unfold before them.

Sanjay is before her in a matter of seconds, and when she sets her gaze upon him, she notices how his smile finally reaches his eyes.

"This is absurd!" he screams, throwing his head back and slightly bending his back, showing to the other rebel all of his happiness.

Karlie nods, but there's melancholy in the corner of her lips. Like the great friend he is, Sanjay immediately notices.

"Aren't you happy?"

"I am," Karlie replies, sounding confident and like she meant it. "I really am, Sanjay."

The man's excitement slowly dims; the clouds covering the sky finally unveil the sun. It was about to set, but there was enough light for Sanjay to see the slight blush coloring Karlie's sharp cheekbones.

"You miss her, don't you?"

The leader sighs, and silently watches the cheerful rebels celebrate their big victory.

"I do," she finally admits out loud. The statement tightens the rope around her heart, and it aches slightly. "I wish she could be here, to celebrate with us. If we've arrived here, it's just because of her."

"Taylor will come back soon. You will tell her the great news yourself, darling."

Karlie temporarily chuckles, and the giggle leaves a small smile on her face. She drags her hands across the blood staining her light blue uniform, and her smile gets bigger at the thought of seeing the American again.

"I'm sorry if I was distracted, earlier. It's just—she's been in my mind a lot, lately,"

Sanjay seems like he's about to smirk and to tease her, but then he says, "It's alright. I was just like you when I began falling in love with Amita."

Karlie's eyes quickly glance at him at the mention of his dead wife. He hasn't said her name in so long, but there's a hopeful, tight lipped smile on his face, as he stares right back at her.

"Let's go celebrate. We have one thing that separates us from the North, now—," Karlie says. "And that is the Bridge."   
  
  
  


-  
  
  
  


The celebration goes on for days and days. Karlie starts to believe that all of this can be only a really good dream, or that something really bad is about to happen, and this is Pagan's cruel way of making the Golden Path get a little taste of victory. Whether she believes it or not, the South is theirs, and they just have to conquer the Bridge, in order to truly connect the rebels with the whole country. Karlie can't wait to free all of those hostages, but she has to be careful. All of them have to be. The North is bigger, compared to the South, and it has one thing that the South hasn't; the King's palace. Which means bigger, stronger and more selfish troops, cruel traps, and more difficult outposts to overcome. The North is the dark side of Pradesh; it was the nightlight dressed like the daylight. And Karlie is afraid. Everyone is, as expected. But the leader wants to be determined, fearless, for each soldier that proudly calls themselves rebel and wants to help the movement. Karlie wants to reach the Palace, and put an end to every single cell that screams tyranny. Pradesh deserves a stable sovereign, someone that cares about their people, and sometimes Karlie wonders what will happen if they win the war. Will she be the one to lead Pradesh and take Pagan's place? Who will be there, by her side, to help her rule?

The rebel lights up a cigarette, millions of concerns chasing one another inside of her brain. She sits lazily on a chair, the night outside young as the soft sound of folk music reaches her ears through the ajar window. Karlie plays with the few bills that are on the table, her legs outstretched beside the ones of the wooden table. She's already eaten the dear that some soldiers have hunted earlier today, and had initially decided to go back to the comfort of her shack, in order to get some good sleep, but as soon as she had laid down on the bed, thoughts about the future had started to haunt her. She thinks about how the Golden Path is able to conquer the Bridge in the first week of May, and it is a thought that sends anxiety and exhilaration throughout her whole body.

Too preoccupied with her mind, she almost misses the soft knock at her door. Karlie furrows her brows, wondering who it could be, at ten p.m. The rebel recalls the talk she had with Sanjay that evening, but it couldn't be him. He had told her that, since he was too tired to stay up any longer, he would have gone to bed early.

After extinguishing her cigarette and placing it on the table, with a slow pace, she hears her own heartbeat throbbing inside her ears, as she stares for a moment at the doorknob. She holds it with shaking fingers, before finally opening the door and reveal the person that is on the other side of it.

"Hi."

It's a simple word, whispered above the sound of the folk music, just for Karlie to hear. There, looking more American than ever, stands Taylor, with a peach pink sweatshirt and grey ripped jeans. What surprises her though, are the tips of her blonde tresses, which are now an electric blue. Karlie finds her more attractive than before — if that's even possible — and she lets her mouth hang open for a moment, just enjoying the sight of the woman before her.

"Hey," she says after a while, her gaze finally landing on Taylor's face. The sapphire inside her eyes is soft and sparkles under the dim light of the torch hanging beside Karlie's door. The slight warm breeze gently ruffles the American's hair, and the blonde shyly fixes it with her hand. "You're back," she finds herself whispering.

"I'm back."

Taylor's voice trembles, and just then does Karlie think about the reason why Taylor is indeed _back_ ; her grandmother is dead. "Please, come in," the leader finally says, widening the door and letting the other woman in. Taylor has just a big rucksack, and she places it on the ground, beside the red bed. When she turns around and faces the rebel, they stand two feet away from each other, the American's hands shyly hiding inside her sweatshirt's pockets.

"How are you?" Karlie tentatively asks, knowing that she has to be delicate and has to carefully choose the words she uses. Taylor seems to be doing just fine, but only when the taller woman approaches her, does her poker face crumble. The American closes the gap between them, walking the small distance on wobbly legs, and desperately wraps her arms around Karlie's neck. The leader listens to her soft cries, and feels wet tears trail down the skin of her collarbones. She can't help but breathe in Taylor's scent, something that she's missed dearly throughout the three weeks the blonde's been away.

Karlie hugs her tightly and holds her protectively, with her arms around her back and her lips against her ear. She whispers soothing words, but she doesn't know how much they can help the situation.

"She's dead," Taylor sobs. "She died on the couch, and I just sat there, sitting beside her and holding her hand and stroking her hair. She told me she loved me, then she just— _went_ away. I heard her last breath and I just—I sat there. Emotionless. Looking at her face as she became paler and paler."

Karlie caressed her back slowly, feeling a lump form within her throat as she listened to Taylor's quiet sobs. She can't help but notice the desperate grip Taylor has on her shoulders, as if she were actually afraid that Karlie would leave her, too. "I'm so sorry."

"And I just—I can't believe that she's gone, like—last year we were together, laughing, joking and just living life, and now—," her sentence is broken by an awfully sorrowful sob, and Taylor buries her head in the crook of Karlie's neck. "Now she's just _gone_."

The rebel feels a tear of her own trail down the slope of her cheek, and her hand finds Taylor's hair, stroking it gently. She recalls how Sanjay had done the same thing, when Darpan had died, and how it had calmed her down.

"I feel _so_ fucking alone, fuck."

Karlie instinctively kisses the crown of her head, and holds her, feeling the blonde woman relax against her body. "You're not alone."

"Yes, I am!" Taylor exclaims, suddenly pulling away from the embrace. However, her arms are still around Karlie's waist, and the leader's hands firmly hold onto her back, their bodies still touching. "I am! They left me all alone! My parents, _Dianna_ , my grandmother! Everyone!"

Karlie doesn't know who Dianna is, but she feels like the question that burns at the tip of her tongue is not appropriate right now. She would ask about her another time.

"You're not alone," the rebel says, but notices how Taylor's gaze is lost and glossy, as if she isn't really there. Therefore, Karlie gently cups her face and pulls her slightly forward. Taylor's head tilts upwards, and when she finally meets the leader's stare, the rebel goes on, "You're not alone. Do you hear me? You're _not_ alone. You have me, you have Sanjay, and you have the Golden Path. Alright?" when Taylor remains silent, Karlie adds quietly, "You're not _alone_."

Her thumb wipes away the furtive tears sliding down the blonde's cheeks, but at least her sobs have turned into soft sniffles. Karlie's eyes accidentally land on Taylor's plump and wet lips, but she averts her gaze and stares deeply into the blonde's ocean.

The leader hesitantly kisses her forehead, her mouth lingering on the soft skin of Taylor's face. When she pulls away, she notices that the blonde had closed her eyes.

The American, without meeting her stare, embraces her once again, and they stay there for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms without saying a single word. 


	16. Chapter 13

"So. She's back?"

"She's back."

Their eyes both focus on the woman. Taylor is back. Sanjay knows. Ashawary knows. Everyone knows. Karlie feels like she can breathe again, now that the American is _really_ back. It's been a week and a half since that night, when the leader had held her in her arms. They don't really talk about what had happened, and somehow Karlie believes that Taylor is embarrassed to truly acknowledge the desperate behavior she had shown to the rebel. But, to Karlie's eyes, she seems fine, now. She seems like another person, perhaps more mature and older. Taylor holds her head high, her shoulders are not slouched like they used to, and there is a coldness inside her sapphire eyes that she's never seen. While something had changed in the American, fortunately the relationship between them hadn't, and Karlie was glad. Taylor was still gentle and sweet with her, sometimes goofing around with her just to let her lungs laugh, once in a while. From time to time, she seemed a little distant, gaze lost in the sky and mind elsewhere, and often times she was closed off. With other people, she's polite, never rude, but there's still a subtle coldness underneath her voice that Karlie can't quite explain. Everything about Taylor's behavior screamed that she was building walls around herself, perhaps to protect her from who knows what, and the rebel is helpless, because those walls seem to get higher and higher, instead of crumbling down as the time passes.

"Is she okay, though?"

Karlie sighs. Taylor fires an arrow, and the leader watches her lips form a frown, as she clearly misses the target. The American's hold around the bow tightens, but determined she picks another arrow from the quiver and tries again. "I think so," she replies.

Sanjay watches the other rebels train and better their archery skills. Karlie and him sit a few feet away from all of them, but it is clear as daylight that the leader is here only for Taylor.

"Do you think that she's like this just because of her grandmother's death? Or is there more?"

"Like what?" Karlie furrows her eyebrows, finally focusing on her friend beside her. She watches him as he plays with the grass on the ground, his elbow placed against his right knee.

"You know," Sanjay says, briefly glancing at the blonde woman. "She seems distant. She seems—hesitant. The other day, when we stumbled upon each other back at Banapur, I was in a hurry because, _apparently,_ there were some soldiers of the Royal Army that were holding some civilians as hostages, and I was going there with other men to free them. When I asked her if she wanted to come along and help us, she—," Sanjay halts and harshly sighs. "She hesitated. Then refused to come. Said that she had some _things_ to do." The man looks at her. "Weeks ago she wouldn't have hesitated."

Karlie lowers her head. "We don't—talk about what happened during her permanence in the USA. She always dodges the subject, and I always let her. I don't want to push her, or something,"

There's a glint of amusement in Sanjay's eyes, as he says, "I would be mad at you, but you caring about her is too cute."

The leader furrows her brows. "I—,"

"Don't even object, Karlie. You care about her, and it shows."

Karlie blushes, and accidentally glances at the American. When she notices that Taylor is staring back at her, the color in her cheeks turns into a deep scarlet red, and she immediately averts her gaze. "You know that I will never make a move. Neither of us will."

Sanjay frowns. "Yeah, too bad," the man ponders for a moment. "She seems like a good kisser."

"Sanjay," the other rebel chuckles incredulously. "Stop,"

But her thoughts are already wandering, her mind already lost at sea, as she thinks about Taylor's incredibly full and plump lips. She can't help but imagine herself kissing them, and her own lips tingle at the thought. Karlie touches them with her fingertips, and breathes deeply.

"I understand that war might scare you," Sanjay begins, sounding more serious than amused. "But sometimes love is worth all of the risks."

Karlie doesn't utter a word, as his words sink in. She recalls his relationship with his wife, Amita, how they had loved each other despite everything else. How he had loved and cared about her even though he risked his life every day. How they had wanted a life together so bad, that death had to be cruel and take her away from him. Sanjay had been devastated, when Amita had died years and years ago. Ajay had been alive, then, and Karlie was just a little soldier, learning that nothing about war was like what the books had told her. She had been there for him, when they had burned her body and put her ashes inside a container. Karlie has been by his side since day one.

"I know," Karlie whispers, only for them to hear. She looks at Taylor then, and tells herself that a person like her is _really_ worth all of the risks.   
  
  
  


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Karlie's hands tremble, and her eyes are wide and go from right to left. She feels like a thief, the little photograph inside the pocket of her light blue pants weighing like a boulder. But she wants explanations, and she can't have those if Taylor keeps telling her that everything is okay.

The leader goes back to her shack, Banapur sounding more quiet than normal, as the afternoon slowly turns into evening. She sends a simple text to Taylor's pager, asking her if she could come and visit her. Taylor doesn't answer right away, and Karlie is anxious, as her fingers keep touching the image hidden inside her pocket. She spends half an hour alone, with her thoughts, but Taylor never replies to her. Instead, she shows up at her doorstep, looking more nervous than the rebel.

Karlie lets her in, staring at her back as she notices Taylor's nervous gaze search for something.

"Did you want to talk to me about something?"

She seems in a hurry, her sapphire eyes readily meeting Karlie's green ones. "I—uh, no. I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Well, I thought—," Taylor sighs. "I really don't have time, now. I'm—looking for something and I have to find it as soon as possible."

Karlie knows what she's talking about, but her heart breaks at hearing the subtle desperation in her voice. Taylor seems like she cares a lot about the woman portrayed in the photo that Karlie has stolen from the American's shack that morning.

"Well, I can help—,"

"No, don't worry,"

The blonde woman immediately passes by her, shoulders brushing, her step quick and hurried and worried. Before Taylor can slip away and exit her shack, Karlie makes a split decision and bravely asks, "Who's Dianna?"

The American stops so suddenly that the leader's breath hitches. She fears she has hit a sensitive subject, but she can't act like everything is normal. Something had changed, and she needed the old Taylor back. The Taylor that was fearless, that didn't hesitate, and that was filled with hope and gave her soldiers strength. Karlie holds her breath, eyes fixed on the tense muscles of Taylor's back. She swallows, slowly, waiting for Taylor to say something, but it seems like she's frozen in time, standing still in front of the door.

"I really need to go."

Karlie feels guilty; the voice that had escaped Taylor's throat was so vulnerable and quivering, as if she were standing on a cliffs edge. The American grabs the doorknob and almost opens the door, but then Karlie unveils the photograph of a smiling blonde, and says, "Are you looking for this?"

When Taylor turns around and faces her, slowly, the rebel feels bad. The blonde's eyes are brimming with unshed tears, and the look in her face is so scared and frightened that Karlie regrets her actions.

"Give it to me."

The American steps closer and reaches for the image, but Karlie uses her height and adamantly holds it above her head. Taylor's voice shakes even more, as her eyes plead the other woman. "Karlie, _please_ , give it to me."

The leader swallows the lump in her throat as she once again asks, "Who's Dianna?"

Taylor gives up, and stands before the rebel with her lips parted. Her breath is shallow, her fists closed and hanging loosely by her sides. Karlie hates herself for doing this, for hurting Taylor purposefully, but she needs to know everything.

"Karlie, stop,"

"Who's Dianna?" Karlie doesn't let go, and Taylor tries again, placing her hand on her shoulders and standing on her toes to take the photo. The taller woman holds her hip, pulling her away from her goal, and it is then, when minutes pass and the American gives up once again, that she starts crying. The rebel feels tears of her own wet her eyelashes, but she stays strong and repeats, "Who's Dianna?"

Taylor lowers her head, soft sobs making her shoulders shake. "Stop," she begs, her hands running through her blonde wavy hair. "Please, I—,"

"I want to be there for you," Karlie confesses, her voice sounding softer and less harsh than before. "Let me be there for you."

Taylor places her hands against her chest, as if she wanted to stop her heart from aching so much. Karlie's own heart clenches at the sight, and she wants to do nothing but hold her in her arms, but she refrains.

"Taylor—,"

"She was my girlfriend, okay?!" Taylor explodes, meeting Karlie's worried gaze. "She was my girlfriend, and _I_ killed her!"

"What?" Karlie whispers, feeling lost. The American breaks down, crying and placing her hands on her face to wipe away her tears.

"She's the first person that _truly_ loved me, and my insecurities fucking killed her. I was so afraid of losing her, and I fucking accused her of sleeping with another woman, just because I was fucking insecure!" Taylor exclaims. "And that day—," she chuckles humorlessly and shakes her head. "That fucking day, we fought. We fought and we fought, and I was fucking stubborn. _So_ fucking stubborn. I told her that she was a cheater, a traitor, and that she loved that other _disgusting_ woman she worked with. She kept telling me she was in love with _me_ , that she loved _me_ and no one _else_ , but I—I didn't believe her. Fuck, I didn't believe her, and—then I was so fucking angry with her, because I thought that she was lying to me, that she _really_ had had sex with that colleague of hers, that I fucking _left._ I left, and when she asked me where I was going, I—," Taylor closes her eyes as more tears stain the slope of her cheeks. " _Far from you_. These were the last words she heard from me before she died. She—she fucking died thinking that I hated her, and—then I went back to my apartment. I knew that we were going to talk about it and put it behind us, because she loved _me_ and I loved _her,_ so we were going to be stronger than our mistakes. But then, one hour later, I received a _fucking_ call, telling me that a fucking truck had run over my girlfriend, because she had been careless and in a hurry. She was in a hurry because she wanted to reach my apartment as soon as possible. She was in a hurry because of me, because she wanted to fix things, but then a truck—a fucking truck killed her. And she died. She died because of me. She—,"

Taylor stops speaking, unable to go on as the sobs in her throat overcome her body. She falls forward, her hands grasping Karlie's shoulders as the rebel holds her. The taller woman is still shocked, because Taylor has been carrying with her _years_ of immense guilt. Taylor has been blaming herself for Dianna's death, for how she treated her before she died, and Karlie wishes she could take some of that pain away. The American cries, and cries, her tears directly hitting the skin of the rebel's neck, and Karlie feels them burn against her. It's as if she can feel her pain through them, and she does nothing but hold her tightly against her chest. Her mind can't help but imagine the day of Dianna's death; she imagines the street of New York City, blocked by an ambulance and by an unmoving truck. She imagines Taylor there, screaming and crying as a paramedic probably holds her back from running towards the corpse of her girlfriend. She imagines Dianna, dark blonde hair stained with blood and eyes lacking life.

Karlie closes her eyes, because what she sees is too painful, and she can't imagine what Taylor is going through, since she had lived it firsthand.

"I'm sorry," Karlie whispers, because it's the only thing that she has to say. Telling Taylor that it is not her fault would probably be useless, because the American was stubborn, and she wouldn't change her mind about the fact that she had killed her ex-girlfriend. "I'm sorry," she repeats, and she recalls that time when Taylor had been beaten by Pagan Min's soldiers, how she had sounded so responsible for those civilians death. How she had felt so guilty and told Karlie that it was her fault, if Pagan Min had killed them. Suddenly, every time Taylor has blamed herself for someone's death made sense, and she holds the woman a little bit tighter and kisses the crown of her head.

"Everyone leaves me," Taylor cries softly, sniffling and rubbing her forehead against Karlie's shirt. When her hot breath hits Karlie's bare skin, the rebel shakily pulls away and faces the American. She cups her cheeks, gently, as if she were touching a delicate masterpiece, and wipes her tears away with her thumbs. Taylor's hands grip the fabric of her uniform, arms around her waist, and the rebel stares at her for a moment. It's incredible how much she likes the color of her eyes after she's been crying for long minutes; it's a vivid, electric blue, and it conveys so many emotions. It shoots an arrow that pierces Karlie's heart, and it makes her feel the ache that is coursing through her veins.

The rebel thinks for a moment, pauses, then says, "I will stay."

"You will stay?" Taylor's voice is bewildered and incredulous, almost skeptical.

With determination, Karlie nods. "I will stay," she repeats, firmly.

And Taylor believes her. 


	17. Taylor's Journal, May 2020

TAYLOR'S JOURNAL, MAY 2020  
**Banapur**

  
_Karlie says that the North is near. The last Royal Army soldiers that were hiding throughout Banapur have been discovered and the Golden Path has taken care of them, holding them hostage and receiving as much information about the Bridge as possible. I was there, for one of the interrogatories. I was surprised when the soldier had told us that he was scared for his life; that he was just a twenty years old man and had a wife he had to protect and go back home to. Eventually, we succeeded on finding out the most important and focal parts of the Bridge. It had three alarms, about forty soldiers defended every corner of the big outpost situated at the end of the bridge. There were two towers, with snipers that guarded the perimeter. The Bridge, Karlie had explained to me, since I had never seen it, was just that. A bridge. It connected two high mountains, one belonged to the North and the other to the South, and a river flowed below it. She had told me that it was a dangerous zone; if you fall when you're crossing it, there's the possibility of you dying against the sharp rocks surrounding the river. But the Bridge wasn't scary because of the huge height that separated it from the ground; it was scary what was on the other side of it. It was the outpost, the guards, and the battle that would take place when we would reach it. Karlie said that it was going to be one of the most important battles of this war. The outpost is now surrounded by a high and insurmountable wall, made of something that not even a grenade could destroy. We would need a plan, an intricate one, and the Golden Path needed time to elaborate on one._

_We couldn't get this wrong. If we lost this one, the Royal Army would grow stronger, and we would be obliged to retreat, and the freedom of the South would be compromised._

_The battle for the Bridge was going to be big, it was going to be frightening, but the hopeful glint I saw in everyone's eyes, included Karlie's, as she explained what we needed to do to take the wall down, was reassuring._

_And it was then, that I understood what the word hope truly meant._


	18. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things are going to happen in the next few chapters! New charachters are going to make an appearance, and the tension between Karlie and Taylor will grow even more. It will be one hell of a roller coaster, but I love slow burns and angst, so be patient with me. When Kaylor will happen, it will be worth it, believe me. 
> 
> But for now, enjoy this new chapter!

The night of the eleventh day of May was when the plan was born. _Capture of the Bridge_. That was its name. This battle's name. Banapur was eerily quiet and strangely cold, threatening clouds covering most of the dark sky; but the moon was out, hanging high above them and illuminating everyone's faces, and Karlie gathered every soldier of the Golden Path around her. The leader stands on a box, in order to be able to see everyone. Various civilians stand around the soldiers, some of them holding onto their husbands or onto their sons. Taylor is between Sanjay and Ashawary, a few feet away from Karlie. The American is nervous, heart beating wildly inside her ribcage. Everyone, including Karlie, wears their light blue uniform, and Taylor fiddles with the yellow bandana around her waist. There's a moment of silence, where the leader readily meets her sapphire gaze, and then she begins.

"The moment we've all been waiting for is here," the leader speaks, her words determined and flying around the night breeze. "It's here for a second time. We've conquered the Bridge once, but this time, it's going to be harder. The Royal Army has reinforced their defenses, and in order to do that, they've built a wall. A high, insuperable and indestructible wall," Karlie takes a deep breath and holds her head high. "Thanks to various sources, we are now aware that grenades aren't able to destroy it. Not even the composition C-4 is able to take it down. But that doesn't mean that we have no way to destroy this wall. We have, we are able to take it down," the rebel standing on the box bites her bottom lip and briefly glances at Taylor. "But it's going to be difficult. We have one chance to take it down and conquer the outpost of the Bridge," she takes another deep breath. "I have found out, with the help of other soldiers, that a tanker truck belonging to the Royal Army will arrive here, in the South, tomorrow night, in order to help the remaining soldiers of the Royal Army to sneak an attack on us. We have found out this information thanks to the enemies that we've questioned, and they gave us the position they're going to receive this tanker truck. And the plan is this," Karlie's eyes meets Taylor's, and the American holds her breath. "We are going to take possession of that tanker truck, and once we will have done that, one of us will drive it towards the Bridge and crash it against the wall. This way, the explosion will be _massive_ , and it will cause the destruction of the wall. Once we've taken it down, the Golden Path will get inside the outpost and fight with everything we have. It's the only chance we have, and we can't let this slide."

When Taylor looks around herself, she sees the various men and women nod with determined smiles on their faces.

And when she looks back at Karlie, the competitive look within her jade eyes makes the American's hands quiver with excitement. "So, let me ask you one final question," she stands, with broad shoulders and a hopeful smile on her lips. "Are you ready for combat?"

The soldiers around Taylor explode with cheers, their arms held high, and the sight makes the smile on Karlie's face grow. She mimics their actions, holding her fist high in the sky, and the American can't help but nod as soon as the leader meets her gaze.

She didn't sleep that night. Taylor kept tossing and turning, wrinkled sheets clinging to sweaty skin. Her mind was too preoccupied with what would happen the following day. She needed to do something. She couldn't just _help_ the soldiers fight when the wall was already destroyed. She's been back for three weeks, but still, she felt like she wasn't doing her best. The American was here, she was back to being a soldier and fighting for a country that wasn't even hers, and yet, she still felt like she was still in New York City. She was hesitant, she was selfish, and when she sees danger, she runs away. Taylor felt like a fish, desperately looking for the way back home but facing nothing more than the endless ocean. The smiling face of her dead ex-girlfriend stared back at her, the image sitting fruitlessly on top of her nightstand beside her mother's ashes. She missed Dianna; going back to America had brought back too many bad memories, because here in Pradesh she had finally breathed again, at the beginning of January, when she was still unaware of everything. But she didn't miss her love. It wasn't like she was still in love with her. Taylor's heart was now infatuated with someone else, and although the situation was far too complicated for her, she welcomed the distraction with open arms. The American still didn't know how to deal with her strong feelings for Karlie, but that was a problem she will have to deal with when all of this is over. When all of the battles will stop and she won't have to go around the streets with a revolver hanging from her waist.

Eventually, morning comes in calm waves, the sun emerging shyly from behind the mountains and bathing Banapur in a soft glow. Taylor rises from the bed, but sits for a few moments, pondering quietly. Having gotten little sleep won't surely help, but it is now clear to her what she has to do, in order to feel like her old self again.

"No. That's not going to happen. No way."

"Karlie, please, listen to me—,"

"It's a no for me, Taylor."

Taylor doesn't like the tone Karlie is using with her. The American chases the other rebel, as she walks away from the smaller woman with a shake of the head. "Karlie, please," she tries again. "It's not going to end badly. Someone has to drive that tanker truck, and I _really_ want to help, so I don't see the problem in me being the driver."

The leader ignores her, and the pair passes by a few civilians on the pathways of Banapur. They descend the stairs made of cobblestone, and Taylor sighs loudly.

"Please, Karlie, can you—,"

"I said no," Karlie replies harshly, turning around and almost bumping into the blonde woman. Taylor recovers quickly, as she stares up at her with narrowed sapphire eyes.

"Karlie, you're being unreasonable."

The leader scoffs. "I'm the leader of this rebel movement, you are—," she halts, pressing her thin lips into a hard line. Taylor raises her eyebrows, waiting for her to say more. "—I said no. Just accept it."

Karlie swiftly turns her back to the American, and in long strides, she reaches the first section of the small town. Taylor keeps running after her.

"No! I won't accept that!"

She rises her voice, and it's a bad move, because now everyone's eyes are on them. Karlie stands at the bottom of the stairs, while Taylor is at the top. She ignores the looks thrown her way, while the leader tries to dismiss the various rebels eyeing them worriedly with an annoyed look.

"Taylor—,"

"I just want to drive that fucking truck, okay?! I want to help, and I can't do that if you bench me!"

"I'm not—," Karlie bites the inside of her cheek, as she tries to keep her anger at bay. It's funny; how much Taylor makes her go crazy in situations like this. She is _so_ fucking stubborn, sometimes. "I'm not benching you, alright? It's a dangerous task, and I'm just being careful,"

Taylor doesn't seem to buy her justification, as she shakes her head with an almost disgusted expression and mutters angrily, "That is fucking ridiculous."

"Taylor, stop!" she exclaims, furious. Her face flushes, and she sees Sanjay stand a few feet away from Taylor, a clueless look marring his features. They're making a scene, and Karlie isn't fond of losing her temper and showing it to the whole world. What she despises even more are stubborn soldiers, and Taylor is being one of them at the moment.

The American stands still, fists hanging loosely by her sides as she keeps her sapphire eyes trained on the leader. Karlie makes a sudden decision, and with as much calm as possible says quietly, "Let's talk somewhere more private."

Taylor seems to ponder for a moment, and as if she realizes that they're surrounded by dozens of people, she looks around herself, and like a dog with their tail trapped between their legs, she descends the stairs with an ashamed and embarrassed look in her face. When Karlie as so much as glances at the civilians that were previously witnessing the scene, everyone pretends to busy themselves with something else to do, as if they weren't prying moments before.

The leader spots a car parked at the entrance of the town, and with a curt nod of the head signals to Taylor to follow her. The American sits quietly on the passenger seat, head hanging low in defeat and fingers fiddling on her lap. Karlie almost feels bad, but what had happened back at Banapur needed an explanation.

The rebel drives for exactly eleven minutes, and she parks the technical car at the side of a gravel road. Now that they've found some privacy — the middle of a forest — Karlie averts her eyes from the view outside of her window and faces the still embarrassed woman sitting by her side. She waits for her to say something, but when nothing fills the silence, the leader sighs and begins, "You have to understand that you don't have to be an hero, Taylor. Someone else is going to drive the tanker truck. You will be with the other rebels, and you will help us conquer the outpost. That is more than enough for me."

"It is not enough for _me_ ," Taylor finally mutters. Karlie furrows her eyebrows at that, confused by her quiet statement.

"I will not allow you to drive that truck. As I said earlier, it's dangerous and risky, and I—I don't want you to do that."

The American faces her, anger still sparkling within her sapphire eyes. "I want to do something, Karlie."

"You are going to do something. You will fight alongside the other rebels, once the wall is destroyed—,"

"But I want to be the _one_ to destroy that fucking wall!" Taylor exclaims, turning her body towards the other woman. Karlie represses an exasperated sigh and purses her lips.

"You won't," the leader shakes her head. "You will be a solider tonight, and you will help us fight once we will have access to the outpost."

"No," Taylor firmly shakes her head. "I will drive the truck. I will destroy the wall."

"Taylor, I said—,"

"I don't fucking _care_ about what you said!"

The way the American's voice echoes inside the small space between them makes the blood inside Karlie's veins freeze. She waits silently, knowing that she's walking on eggshells now, and stares at the blonde woman. Taylor's eyes are wide and eerily flickering, her chest wildly rising and falling. Her breath is even audible, and Karlie wonders how could she be so upset over such a simple thing. It's not like the leader said that she won't be able to fight.

When Karlie starts for a second moment, she's cautious. "Taylor, please—,"

But Taylor doesn't wait for her to continue. The American shakes her head angrily and furiously opens the door of the car, slamming it once she's outside. Karlie places her own head against the seat, and closes her eyes with a sigh. _Why is she being so complicated?_ The leader watches the other woman walk towards the edge of the cliff, and stare at the panorama with crossed arms. Karlie has no choice but to confront her, because she feels like there's a deeper reason to all of this.

She gets out of the car, and Taylor doesn't acknowledge her presence, not even as she stands beside her. Karlie stares at her for a moment, analyzing the complexity of her features, then, with a light tone, she turns towards the view in front of them and says, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

But the leader knows that Taylor isn't seeing what she's seeing. She knows that look all too well; her sapphire eyes are dazed, and her mind is probably elsewhere, probably far away from where they're standing. Karlie wonders if Taylor is thinking about Dianna.

"Taylor—,"

"I just want to help."

Her voice is vulnerable, and it fortunately lacks the anger that had been present a few moments ago. Karlie sighs, and almost reaches out to her, but refrains. "Fighting with the other rebels at the outpost _is_ going to help. You fighting is never going to be useless."

But Taylor shakes her head, and Karlie is surprised to see her sapphire eyes brim with unshed tears.

"You don't understand."

"Then help me, Taylor," Karlie faces the other woman with her whole body, and Taylor briefly glances at her. "Help me understand, Taylor."

The American stands motionless, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. Pearly white teeth sink into the rose and plump skin of her bottom lip, as she thinks about what to say next. When Taylor sighs and shakes her head, there's a forced smile on her face as she faces the leader. "It doesn't matter. I will do what you told me. I won't drive the truck."

Karlie is confused, as she asks, "What? Taylor, you can talk to me, you don't have to be afraid of talking to me."

"It's okay. It doesn't really matter,"

It's a blatant lie, and Karlie knows it, and Taylor knows it. They both know it, but the leader isn't able to meet her gaze as the American stares at the ground beneath their feet. It's obvious that she's still upset about this discussion, but Karlie feels helpless and with her back against the wall.

"Taylor—,"

"Let's just—," Taylor meets her eyes, a desperate look within them. "Let's just go back. I'll be a good soldier tonight."

Karlie stares at her. "You can come with my battalion. You can help us stop the truck, then you can reach the outpost and help the others there, alright?"

A delighted glint dances inside Taylor's sapphire irises, and Karlie knows she's said the right thing. A smile forms in both of their faces, as the American nods gratefully.

"Alright."

-

Karlie's battalion was rather small. Apart from the leader, the faces of the other soldiers were unfamiliar to the American. Hiding behind an intricate expanse of bushes along the gravel road, the group of ten people stays still, their knees sinking into the muddy and wet soil. The morning of the thirteenth day of May had been covered by grey and frightening clouds, which soon had exploded in a cold rain upon all Pradesh. The awful weather left behind only a chilly breeze, which makes Taylor's spine tremble with hard shivers. The damp fabric of her light blue uniform sticks to her skin, and the American shuffles a little, so as to alleviate the tension sitting on the back of her legs. The battalion is as silent as the night, and from time to time Karlie whispers directions to the other battalions through her pager. Taylor feels her heartbeat quicken, as two bright headlights shine through the blinding darkness of the night. The leader orders to stay low, and to not utter a single word. Taylor holds her breath, her hands gripping tightly her assault rifle.

Their plan is to take down the driver, distract the Royal Army soldiers that had been waiting for the truck, and claim the vehicle as quickly as possible.

But then, something goes terribly wrong, and one of their soldiers is noticed by an attentive enemy.

The next thing the American sees, is blood pouring from her comrade's face. Taylor hears the sound of shots, but for a single moment, a moment that lasts an eternity, everything stops and she's unmoving. The immobile vehicle suddenly starts moving, and racing thoughts blind Taylor's brain. _Do something. Think fast._

Unexpectedly, as the battalion fights back, Taylor rises from her position behind the bushes and lunges forward. She launches a grenade, the explosion distracting the nearby enemies, and with her peripheral vision, she briefly spots Karlie yelling at her to go back to her respective place. But she blissfully ignores her, and miraculously, she reaches the door of the tanker truck and yanks it swiftly. The smoke around her makes her lungs cough harshly, and the incessant sound of screams filled with agony and empty bullets falling onto the ground fill her ears.

The driver doesn't see her coming and, unarmed, tries to beg Taylor to please spare his life. However, the blonde woman, without hesitation, aims her rifle at him and fires. His lifeless body collapses with a loud thud against the leather seat, and Taylor drags him out using all of her strength. And then, once she has taken care of the enemy, and sets her eyes back at the driver's seat, the opportunity lies right in front of her. It's what Karlie had told her not to do; drive the tanker truck and let it crash against the wall, effectively destroying it. But it is what Taylor had wanted to do, just for it to make her feel like her old self again. She needs the confidence, the confirmation that she's not useless to these soldiers that risk their lives every day.

And when Taylor looks back at her battalion, she meets Karlie's gaze, who looks back at her with wide eyes and parted mouth.

Swallowing, and breathing in some bravery, Taylor places her hands against the handle of the door and lets herself inside. She sits for a moment on the driver's seat, the big and threatening steering wheel staring back at her. There's a moment of hesitation, where she constantly reminds herself that this is the right thing to do, and then, she puts her hands on the wheel and squeezes it tightly. The Royal Army soldiers are screaming up blasphemies at her, and from her position, she sees the anger mixed with fear in all of their eyes.

Before she can push the gas pedal, the door at her right opens quickly, and a worried and bewildered Karlie gets inside as well.

"Taylor, let me drive," the leader tries. She's breathing harshly, and Taylor doesn't meet her eyes, not even once. "Taylor— _fuck,_ let me drive this damn truck. Get out of here, you can't do this!"

The American glances at her. "I _can,_ and I _will_."

Her foot is shoved against the accelerator, and the enemies standing on the truck's way disappear beneath it. Taylor hears Karlie mutter quietly to herself, and although she sounds rather angry, Taylor keeps driving. She drives into the night, with shoulders tense and hands so pale that she almost looks like a ghost.

On their way to the bridge, they encounter various roadblocks, dotted with soldiers wearing their red uniforms. The enemies try to stop them from going further, the few bullets fired their way shattering the glass. The little pieces cut Taylor's fingers, but despite the pain Taylor keeps driving as fast as she can.

Nothing stops them. Not even soldiers equipped with molotovs.

And then, the Bridge comes into view, and Taylor shudders.

Karlie quickly screams at her pager, telling the other battalions that they need support as soon as possible, that they're about to take the wall down.

An adrenaline rush runs along the American's spine, as the wheels of the large and unsettling vehicle leads them alarmingly quickly towards the insurmountable wall. Karlie holds the handle of the door and looks back at Taylor. "Sanjay and the others will be here in no time. We need to _jump_ from this, otherwise we will blow up with it."

Her voice is calm, but underneath the American hears the rush and the concern Karlie is desperately attempting to conceal.

"You jump. I have to drive,"

"What?! Are you fucking _kidding_ me, Taylor?"

"Karlie, you need to jump! If I jump, the truck won't reach the wall at its highest speed!"

The leader firmly shakes her head and looks at the wall. It is _so_ near. "Taylor, please, you—,"

"Karlie, jump, _now_!"

That's when their eyes meet, and Karlie notices just how truly scared Taylor is. She wishes she could take her place, but at this point, there is nothing left to do but jump from the vehicle. The leader has an objection sitting at the tip of her tongue, and it almost slips away from her mouth, but she grits her teeth, looks at Taylor one last time, and roughly gets off the moving truck. She rolls over for a few meters, the soil hard underneath her body, and when she comes to a stop, the first thing she hears is the massive explosion happening in front of her eyes.

Karlie covers her body from the rubbles, a few of them scratching her back, but the pain in her heart is incomparable, as she quickly recovers and stands up. The tanker truck was nowhere to be seen, tongues of flames were eating the last pieces of the destroyed wall that a few moments prior had been insurmountable, and there was no trace of Taylor. The leader desperately tries to think positively; perhaps Taylor had jumped in time and had saved herself. Or maybe, she hadn't, and now her body could be lying somewhere, burnt and scattered with cuts everywhere.

Karlie swallows the immense lump in her throat and runs a desperate hand through her tresses, as dozens of blue technical cars stop in the middle of the bridge. Hundreds of her soldiers come running forward, the battle for the bridge's possession truly beginning now. The tall woman picks up her rifle from the ground, and although she's still a little shaken up from the happenings and from the possibility that she could have just lost Taylor, she joins her army and begins fighting. As her bullets kill her enemies, the thoughts of the American still litter her brain. She still sees her determined and fearless face, moments before Karlie had jumped from the truck. She still hears her voice, and Karlie desperately hopes for the best.

The Royal Army soldiers are fierce and stubborn, as they fight even when there's little ounce of life inside of them. Karlie is inside the outpost, helping as much as possible as she sees some of her best soldiers helplessly fall on the ground and die in front of her very eyes.

But then, as her gaze is trained towards the bridge, in the middle of the haze caused by the explosion, she spots a body, lying unmoving on the ground. She thinks she's dreaming, and she doesn't know if she's seeing things, but she's sure that the person's hair is blonde and long. Without an ounce of hesitation, she _runs_ , quickly, until her lungs scream for air. The body is a few feet away from the destroyed wall, just outside the outpost, and Karlie feels like crying when she notices that the tips of those blonde hair are an electric blue.

"Taylor," she whispers, although the sounds surrounding them are louder than her voice. The person is lying on their stomach, a slightly burned arm bent above their heads. Karlie carefully turns them over, and a helpless cry comes out of her lips as the sight beneath her confirms that it is, in fact, Taylor. The leader kneels beside her body, and very lightly touches her face. "Taylor, can you hear me?"

Her condition is not bad; after the explosion, Karlie had expected her to look worse, or dead. But the American's face was covered with minor cuts, with her bottom lip and nose bleeding slightly. Her light blue uniform was, at this point, worn out and soaked, the fabric covering her abdomen torn and showing the slightly deeper wound and the scars from past battles. Her skin is covered with dirt, and soil is trapped between her blonde tresses. When her sapphire eyes finally open, Karlie tentatively smiles down at her and caresses her cheek.

"Are you able to move?"

Taylor moans, squeezing her eyes shut and turning her head to the other side. The leader glances at her comrades to see if they need help, but they have everything under control.

"Come on, let's get you out of here,"

Karlie moves to stand behind her, and very carefully grabs Taylor by her armpits, dragging her towards the nearby rock wall in order to have some coverage. The American whines about the pain in her back, but Karlie ignores her; it's for the best.

"Stay here, alright? I have to go back and help the others,"

The leader almost stands up, but Taylor quickly grabs her wrist and implores her to stay through the pleading look inside her sapphire eyes.

"Taylor, I—," Karlie pauses. "Here, take this," she picks up a revolver sitting a few feet away from them, its owner probably dead, and hands it to the other woman. "You can protect yourself with this. I will be back soon, alright?"

Taylor nods and closes her eyes. The taller woman wishes she could hear her voice and let it calm her down, but the American rests her head against the rock wall and lets it sway from side to side. Karlie glances at her legs, the hem of her pants lacerated and dirty. The leader hesitates, as she stands above a helpless and exhausted Taylor. But the Golden Path needs her. It needs to conquer this bridge, to win this battle and take this step forward. The American is fine, she shows no signs of death, so why should she be so worried?

"I'll be back soon," she repeats, perhaps to convince more herself than the woman lying against the rock wall. Taylor wearily nods, and stares up at her with tired blue eyes. Karlie clenches her jaw, and with a final look at the woman, she leaves her side to go back to the battle.

It seems to go on forever; the sound of the alarms going off echoing throughout the mountains, the never ending ocean of enemies, the amount of blood staining the gravel street. But when there are only five enemies left, and it appears that the Royal Army from the North isn't sending anymore reinforcements, the end is near. And the odds are in their favor.

Surprisingly, it's Taylor the one who kills the last enemy of the battle. The one that marks the victory for the Golden Path. With a precise shot in the head, the last soldier of the Royal Army collapses to the ground, lifeless, and the triumphant silence falls upon them like a soft, warm blanket. Only soldiers with light blue uniforms stand in the quiet outpost, with the American in the middle of the street and her revolver still raised. She lowers it, and as the rebels all erupt in cheers, Taylor finally meets Karlie's stare across the road. The leader remains unmoving, a surprised yet content look within her jade green eyes. The American is the first to smile, her right arm hanging limply by her side. Despite the few feet separating them, Karlie is the one to make the distance disappear and stand right in front of her. There's a strange glint inside her eyes, as she looks down at Taylor with a tight lipped smile.

"We won," the American says, a light and carefree giggle following shortly after.

Karlie nods, laughing with her. "Yeah," she stares at Taylor, and the blonde blushes under such a tender yet intense stare. "We won."

And as they stay there, unmoving, with lovingsmiles gracing their lips, they finally realize that the Bridge is theirs, and that they are one step closer to Pagan Min. 


	19. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually really long, but here I introduce to you a new character! I'm so excited for you to see what's coming next, and I'm writing as much as possible since school is about to start soon for me, and I will be really busy with studying. Anyway, please tell me what you think and if you're still enjoying this story. There will be lots of Kaylor soon (Jealous Karlie will make more than one appearance). 
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter, the first one of part two!

Utkarsh was similar to Banapur, and yet, everything was different. Utkarsh was bigger, it was not divided into sections, and people were more reserved and cold, almost as cold as the weather. Up north, the snow never left the ground, and it covered everything with a white and soft blanket. Taylor was surprised to find rebels of the Golden Path there, but the astonishment slightly disappeared when she found out that they were there in disguise. They were more or less ten, and they were so grateful when they came to know that the Bridge now belonged to the Golden Path and, therefore, that the South was completely free from Pagan Min's claws. When they arrived to Utkarsh, Karlie immediately sent Taylor to the infirmary, despite the American's complains, and the leader went to talk with the commander, Gaurish. The nurses were nice and kind, and cleaned all of Taylor's wounds and treated the blonde's slightly burned right arm. They sparked small talk in order to distract Taylor from the pain, and long hours later, as the sun finally rose from behind the mountains, the American was left alone to rest.

She lies in bed, ivory bandages around her right arm and a little band-aid covering the tiny but deep cut in her forehead. The white sheets are rough and slightly torn and wrinkled underneath her fingers, which are still trembling with adrenaline. The infirmary in Utkarsh is just a large room, larger than the one back at Banapur, and there are not many patients as of today. Taylor is the only one wide awake, and she desperately feels her body screaming, begging her to just close her eyes and fall asleep. However, there's an unsettling emotion sitting on the pit of her stomach, rendering her restless as she impatiently waits for Karlie to pay her a visit. Taylor feels fine now, the medications the nurses have given her finally kicking in, but she feels like the leader is kind of mad at her and at her carelessness. Karlie had been kind to her on their way to Utkarsh, yet her voice had been distant and too calm when addressing the American. Taylor slightly regrets her actions, for scaring Karlie so much. Although the aftermath of the explosion is still a little blurry inside of her memories, she recalls the frightened look on the rebel's face when she had dragged her away from the scene. Taylor hadn't meant to scare her, to give her a reason to possibly think that she was dead, but now, with clear thoughts and a very much awake brain, she visualizes the bigger picture and tries to put herself in Karlie's shoes. If Karlie had been the one to drive the tanker truck and risk her life like that, Taylor surely would have been just as much terrified of losing her as Karlie probably had been. But at least she is alive. Karlie is alive, the wall is destroyed, and the South is theirs. The mission ended successfully, and Taylor is probably going to receive a reprimand from Karlie. And Taylor could listen to thousands of reprimands, if that meant that, despite everything, Karlie would forgive her no matter what big mess Taylor creates.

Karlie visits her in the afternoon, the sound of chatter and folk music briefly getting inside the infirmary as the leader opens the door and closes it slowly. After hours of trying, Taylor had finally fallen asleep, but even the smallest of noises wakes her up from her light slumber. A dull pain makes her teeth sink in the plump skin of her bottom lip, and tired sapphire eyes watch the rebel make her way towards the plain bed Taylor is comfortably lying on. The American doesn't have the strength to sit up straight against the headboard, but she greets the other woman with a tiny smile, the one that kids use when they're ashamed of something they've done. She sees Karlie slightly shake her head, her elegant and long fingers wrapping around a nearby stool and dragging it closer to Taylor's bed. She sits with her legs slightly parted, lips forming a thin line as jade green eyes attentively stare at the American's injured face. Taylor waits for her to say something, anything, but the rebel keeps her mouth shut and looks at her. The blonde takes this silence as an opportunity to check if Karlie has major wounds, but she finds none. The seated woman has scars on her hands from previous battles, battles that they've won and lost, but there are no bloody cuts all over her body. There are whole stories behind each scar, some have been unveiled, but Taylor feels like some are too personal and painful to tell.

When infinite minutes pass by and Karlie goes on to stare at her silently, the American decides that she's had enough of the silent treatment.

"Are you mad at me?"

Taylor's voice terribly cracks in the middle of the question, and it is still a little bit hoarse from sleep. The American licks her dry lips and waits for an answer. Karlie finally has a reaction at that; the color in her eyes darkens, a frown overcomes her features, and her head lowers until Taylor has no direct sight of it. The palm of her hand begins to sweat and she coughs lightly.

"Yes," Karlie replies quietly, voice aggravated. Yet, the hand suddenly grasping Taylor's says the opposite. "You shouldn't have done that, Taylor."

The American purses her lips and holds back from offering a rebuttal, knowing that the reprimand is coming. But Karlie holds her hand in the middle of the dimly lit chamber, a pensive look sitting on her face. She doesn't utter a word for a whole minute, the blonde trying to ignore the shakiness of the fingers laced between hers.

Taylor tries with an apology, "I'm sorry—,"

"You have disobeyed me and the orders that I had given you."

Karlie interrupts her, the calmness in her tone masking the anxiety she truly feels about what Taylor has done.

"I know."

"Even though I had told you not to drive the truck, you went and _drove_ the fucking truck. You didn't have to be a hero. Nobody here needs a hero, because we all are, one way or another, a hero. You should have just listened to me, and maybe you wouldn't be lying in this hospital bed if you had followed my orders," Karlie continues. She seems angry, and Taylor knows she's speaking with _the_ leader, not with her friend. Taylor averts her eyes, swallowing down the shame of doing something wrong. Just because it ended well doesn't mean that it couldn't have gone terribly wrong.

"I'm really sorry, Karlie."

Karlie softens at hearing the sheer vulnerability in Taylor's voice, which casually reflects in all of her face. The rebel strokes the soft skin of the back of the American's hand, and sighs.

"What you've done today was wrong. You were careless and brave when you didn't need to be," the rebel shifts in her seat. "But you also saved a lot of lives today. You risked yours just so we could open the gate to the North, and that—that is how a rebel acts. A rebel believes that they can do anything to help others, even though they could lose their lives. You wanted to help. You wanted to make a big change in this war, and everyone appreciates you. People of Utkarsh can't wait to meet you and thank you personally, Taylor."

Taylor shyly rises her head and meets Karlie's stare. "Really?"

The leader nods. Finally, the smallest of smiles turns Karlie's lips slightly upwards. "You scared me today, but I must say—," a grin finally lights up her face. "—I'm really glad you're alive."

The way Taylor's heart flutters inside her chest makes the blonde take in a deep breath. Along with the look Karlie's giving her — jade green eyes sparkling, lips forming a breathtaking smile, and the adoration and love written all over her face — Taylor feels a familiar, tingling and warm sensation tickle the chambers of her heart. The American knows all too well what that feeling means, and she desperately tries to ignore it, ignore the fact that Karlie's hand in hers is more successful in taking the pain away than the medicines.

She clears her throat, and the wonderstruck look on the leader's face disappears quickly as she retracts the warmth of her hand. Taylor almost voices her disappointment, but she bites the inside of her cheek and swallows whatever was about to come out of her mouth.

"The nurses told me that you're discharged. I came here to take you to your new shack."

Taylor nods, and with a light whimper she sits up at the same time Karlie rises from her seat. The American is wearing an hospital gown, and when she's on her feet, she stands there awkwardly, with a scented and warm, light blue uniform in her hands. When Karlie understands that she has to change into her new outfit, a sudden blush covers her cheeks and she sheepishly turns around. Taylor turns her back to Karlie, and the first nurse that passes by smiles at her. When she's sure that no one's looking — which means that the only patients inside the room are all asleep — she lifts the white gown over her head and remains in just black underwear. Being nearly naked, with Karlie standing just behind her, makes her cheeks burn with both yearning and embarrassment. Taylor quickly covers her breast with a black band, and the light blue, long sleeved shirt follows shortly after.

The leader, perhaps thinking that she was done, turns around and says, "Hey, are you—holy shit, sorry!"

Taylor doesn't have the time to cover her naked legs because when she looks up, she only sees Karlie's tense back. "Oh, it's okay. I'm almost done."

The American forces a laugh out of her throat, and quickly slides the pants up her legs.

"Alright! We can go,"

When the rebel faces her, her jade green eyes don't meet Taylor's. The American realizes just then that Karlie has probably seen her bare backside, and that makes her go silent until they reach the door of Taylor's shack. It's a little distant from the others, and a little bit bigger than the one she has at Banapur.

"This one is yours," Karlie explains, opening the door and letting her in. The interior isn't unlike the one at Banapur; there's the usual bed in the corner of the room, the usual red sheets, the usual scent of incense filling her nostrils, and the usual small chandelier hanging on the low ceiling. There's a small wardrobe, and a wooden table is a few feet away from it. The floor creaks under her steps, and she sits and bounces on the mattress, flattening her hands against the soft material of the blankets. Karlie watches her every move, and Taylor blushes shyly when she notices her staring.

"It's nice," she comments finally, smiling. The leader matches her grin and takes a seat beside her. Their sides brush and Taylor wishes she could feel what it's like to have Karlie's bare skin against hers. The thought catches her off guard and makes her burn with silent pining. "It's really nice," she adds as an afterthought, perhaps to distract her mind from picturing other not so innocent thoughts.

Karlie nods and agrees with her by humming quietly. Their eyes meet, but Taylor is not physically able to keep their gazes locked as she immediately looks away. Karlie's proximity is too much, and it builds a tension that wasn't there a few minutes ago.

"Are you hungry?"

"A little bit."

"The people of Utkarsh have prepared a special dinner since we freed the Bridge, and I think they would be delighted to see you there."

"Yeah, I will go," she replies with a genuine smile. Karlie grins softly at her, and Taylor thinks she's having hallucinations, but she's sure that the leader's eyes had quickly lowered to look at her lips. The attention makes her teeth bite her bottom lip, and the rebel quickly clears her throat and averts her eyes.

"Well—um, we can go together. Now, I mean."

Taylor stares blankly at her, before exclaiming excitedly, "Yeah! Sure!"

Although there was an unspoken tension between the two women, they reach the center of the town and meet the civilians of Utkarsh. Taylor is surprised to see a group of five young kids; there hadn't been many back at Banapur. And if she actually ponders over it, she hasn't seen a lot of children during her permanence. Their contagious, free and young laughs and giggles make Taylor smile, and the tension between her and Karlie dissolves into thin air. Various old civilians stop her to thank her and shake her hand, others lower their head in order to show their gratitude to the blonde. She feels under bright spotlight, as everyone talks about her — whether it was because she was the one that had destroyed the wall or because she was Ajay Suri's daughter — and it makes her shoulders raise timidly. Taylor watches the sun go down and disappear between the snowy mountaintops, and as they gather around a small fire built on the cobblestone ground, she's reminded of the first time she's eaten with a group of grateful civilians, back at Banapur. It feels like an eternity divides her from that night, when it's only been less than six months.

"Are you Taylor?"

The American is surprised to hear a high pitched, youthful and girlish voice come from behind her. When she turns around, her teeth still chewing the meat inside her mouth, she faces a little girl, whose smile is too big for her face. Taylor lights up immediately; she's always loved interacting with kids. This one in particular seems like so much fun, and the American feels like they will be great friends, even if there are probably more than twenty years separating them.

"Yes, I am," she replies softly. She beckons her to seat beside her, and once the girl is sitting with her arm brushing Taylor's leg, the woman gets a better look on her. The kid can't be more than ten years old. Her eyes are a dark brown, the color of a tree's bark, and resemble the window to the girl's heart and soul. Her lips are thin, the color of her long straight hair is identical to the one within her irises, and she's slim. Her entire appearance makes her look young, but gazing at her eyes — eyes that have probably seen too much death and weapons — she knows she's more mature than the other kids. "What's your name, kid?"

"I'm Rue!" she exclaims with a big grin. "And I'm not a kid! I'm eleven years old."

Taylor giggles and smiles widely. "Alright, Rue," she takes another bite from her plate, and once she has swallowed, she points to the small group of kids running around and chasing each other, and asks, "Aren't those your friends? You should go play with them instead of speaking with the old people like me."

Rue shrugs and innocently says, " _You_ are my friend. They aren't."

Taylor slows down her chewing to stare blankly at the girl beside her. "Hm," she hums. "Well, I'm glad and honored to be your friend, then," she smiles.

Rue claps her hands excitedly and gives her a tight hug, one that makes the air from your lungs disappear in the best way possible. Taylor laughs loudly at her reaction, and once she's pulled away, she looks around herself and asks, "What about your parents? Where are they?"

When Rue points at the starry sky, Taylor's face falls. But Rue doesn't seem to be in pain or sad as she says, "I miss them, but I know that they're happy, so I'm happy too."

The American feels a pang of sorrow, but seeing the lopsided smile on the girl's face makes her feel okay. "You know," she begins, now finishing her food and moving the plate away from them. She sits with her legs crossed and turns her body towards the kid. Rue mimics her actions and waits for her to continue. "My parents are there, too. And just like you, I miss them. But when I'm busy, they're not always on my mind, so it doesn't make me feel sad, you know?"

Rue nods enthusiastically, hanging onto every word that comes out of Taylor's mouth.

"Can I ask you something, Taylor?"

The American smiles at the innocence rolling off of her, and nods. "Yeah,"

"Why are you so pretty? Are you a doll? My dad got me one and she looks like you."

Taylor bursts out laughing, and covers her mouth when she notices that almost every eyes are on the pair. "Thank you," she blushes. "But I'm not a doll. I'm very much real, I just come from the USA."

"I've always wanted to go there!"

Rue gets excited easily, and Taylor loves it. "It's a beautiful place, but there are bad people there, too. There are ones that are like Pagan Min, but then there are others that are like—,"

"Like you?"

The blonde raises her eyebrows, surprised, and replies, "Yeah. It's nice of you to say that, but yes. I like to think that I'm a part of the _good people_."

Rue nods. "You are good. And funny. And kind. And really pretty."

Taylor giggles, and she feels like she's fifteen years younger. "Thank you, Rue. You are pretty as well."

Rue gets shy and hides her face in the crook of her neck, as she lowers her head and grabs Taylor's hands. The American laughs sweetly at the naivety of the kid.

They talk for hours about everything and nothing. It's nice to have a friend that is not Karlie, because with Karlie, she feels like she needs to hold back because of the strong feelings her heart is trapped into, but it's also nice because talking with Rue is simple and uncomplicated. She makes death seem easy, and her intelligence surprises Taylor more than once.

That night she accompanies Rue to the shack where all the kids who don't have parents anymore reside in, and Taylor gets on her knees just to give her a tight hug. Rue strangely reminds her of her old self, and although she has met her less than four hours ago, the bond that now ties the two is unbreakable. Rue is genuine, and isn't afraid of telling her the truth, and Taylor appreciates that. Surrounded by all of this blood, and death, and cruelty, she really needed someone to put a naïve light upon her new life.  
  
  
  


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Three days after meeting Rue, Taylor takes the young girl for a walk.

The North has cold temperatures, even in early June, and the first thing the American does when she meets Rue outside the orphanage is falling down to her knees, in order to be the kid's height, and pulling up the collar of her grey jacket. The girl gives her a goofy grin, and wraps her thin and short arms around Taylor's covered neck. The American wears warm clothes — black sweatpants, a grey hoody, and chestnut boots.

It's early in the morning, and Rue grabs her hand as soon as Taylor is on her feet. There's a disgustingly big smile plastered on her plump lips, and as they saunter through the narrow gravel roads of Utkarsh, they greet the civilians that pass by them. When they stumble upon the leader, who confusedly smiles down at the kid, Taylor informs her that they are going for a short walk. Karlie tells them to be careful, the North was more dangerous than the South, and threats were always around the corner. The American reassures her that they weren't going very far, and that she was armed and always on alert.

Once they're finally outside the town and walking leisurely down a path, Taylor almost lets go of Rue's hand, but the kid stubbornly tightens her hold. The American bites the inside of her cheek as she glances at the girl walking happily beside her. A few streaks of snow fall from the cloudy sky, and the delighted shriek that comes out of the kid's thin lips makes the woman giggle.

"I love snow!"

"I can see that," Taylor smiles softly.

They keep on walking down the same path, the trees around them now surrounding them as they fully dive in the woods. Taylor's heartbeat quickens, and once she feels like they're almost too far from Utkarsh, she pulls at Rue's hand and says as calmly as possible, "Let's stop here. We can't go too far,"

The kid frowns and stubbornly stumps her foot. "Why?"

Taylor smiles sympathetically. "It's too dangerous, darling. I don't want you to be unsafe."

"But I feel safe with you."

As much as it warms her heart, the American crouches beside her and holds both of her hands. "Rue," she begins softly. "Let's just sit here together. We can talk about whatever you want. Deal?"

The kid thinks about it for a moment, a moment where she looks into Taylor's eyes uncertainly, and then replies, "Deal."

"You're a good kid."

Taylor ruffles her hair teasingly, and Rue laughs loudly and lightheartedly. The American wraps her arms around her tiny waist and picks her up, a waterfall of giggles falling from the kid's lips. Taylor takes a seat nearby a tree, and lets her back collapse against its dark bark. Rue sits on her lap, her dark hair warming the woman's neck. Taylor feels carefree and happy, relaxed, almost euphoric, with Rue between her arms and the knowledge that she felt safe in her presence.

"Taylor?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Are you and Karlie together?"

The American almost chokes on her own saliva, as her eyes widen dramatically. Fortunately, Rue is not facing her, and she can't see the panicked look that is dancing freely all over her face.

Taylor clears her throat. "Why do you ask that?"

"I don't know," Rue plays with the woman's fingers. "You just seem really close."

"That's because we're really good friends," Taylor laughs.

"Yeah, but—," the kid sounds disgruntled. "—she looks at you the way my dad used to look at my mom."

"Rue, we—," the American pauses. She gently pushes her away in order to look her in the eyes. The kid seems disappointed that she's not heard what she wanted to hear. "—we're just friends. That's all."

"Hm," there's a pensive frown on her lips. "Are you sure?"

Taylor nods. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"You look sad, though. Why are you sad?"

The American is surprised by the statement. Is she really that transparent, that easy to see right through? "I—," she swallows. "I'm not sad."

"I said you _look_ sad."

"I'm not sad, darling. You don't have to worry."

Rue hums once again. "You're my friend. Friends worry and care about their friends."

"Thank you," Taylor caresses her cheek and kisses her forehead.

Rue snuggles up to the woman when a cold breeze makes them shiver, and Taylor ponders on what they've talked about. Rue has known her for less than a week, and she already knows that there is something more than just platonic feelings between her and Karlie. She has not confirmed it, but she knows that Rue knows that she's lied. Taylor feels bad, because it's not like the kid was going to tell Karlie. Rue is fiercely loyal, and she knows that if she confided into her, she would not tell a soul and keep her secret close to her heart.

"Rue?" she whispers.

"Yes?"

"I know that I said that me and Karlie are friends, but—," she swallows, and the pause in her speech makes the kid look up at her. "—but, you know, I wish we weren't _just_ friends. I wish we could be more than that, but she—she doesn't know that. I've never told her, because I don't want to lose our friendship, you know? She's too important for me, and I'm just—afraid. I'm scared of her rejecting me, of losing her and of jeopardizing this incredible relationship that we have."

Rue purses her lips and places a finger against her chin. "Why are you afraid of something that you're not sure is going to happen?"

Taylor is caught off guard by how true the kid is. "I—," she stutters, not knowing how to reply.

"Maybe Karlie feels the same way," Rue continues. "I've seen a lot of people dying, and fighting, and it scared me a lot. But I've never seen people holding back from the people they _love_. You should tell her how you feel, and if she rejects you, then you will think about it when that will happen, _if_ it happens."

Taylor is surprised by how mature Rue sounds. For an eleven years old girl, she surely sounds like a girl older than her age. The kid, when not hearing other words from the woman behind her, turns her back to the American and goes back to playing with her fingers. Taylor is too distracted by the storm of thoughts inside her brain to notice Rue's mindless singing. The woman places her chin on the crown of her head, and listens to the faint sound of snowflakes touching the grass. There's silence in the woods, apart from the kid's faint voice, and Taylor enjoys the simplicity and calmness of it all.

"What's your favorite color?"

Rue is back to being the young kid that she is, probably forgetting about the serious conversation they just had, and Taylor smiles. She could use some distraction at the moment.

"Red," she replies, and the American is wistfully reminded of one of the first real talks she had with Karlie at the beginning of January. "What's yours?"

"I like all of them!" the kid exclaims.

"Yeah, but if you had to choose one, which one would you choose?" Taylor asks, laughing quietly.

"I don't want to choose one," Rue says softly, lowering her head and hunching her shoulders.

"Alright," the American sighs. "That's okay."

"Taylor?"

"Yeah?"

Rue hides her face in the crook of her neck, "Thank you. Nobody has ever cared so much about me."

Taylor's eyes widen slightly, and she wraps her arms around the kid. "Oh," she hums quietly, a blush covering her cheeks. "I'm sure your parents cared about you a lot."

"They did, but they cared more about the war," the girl says, shrugging nonchalantly. "They just didn't have a lot of time for me, but you—you are literally one of the big rebels. Yet you still find some time for me, even though I'm just an eleven years old kid."

"Well," Taylor begins. "I care about you. And I always have time for the people I care about."

Rue hugs her tightly at that, her little hands intertwining with Taylor's bigger ones. The American appreciates the affection, cuddling the little girl in her arms as if she were her daughter. She thinks about the last time she's held someone like this, and an old wound in her heart sadly bleeds when she realizes that it's Dianna the last person she's held lovingly between her arms.

They spend the next hours in silence, until Taylor realizes that Rue had fallen asleep and that was the reason why the girl was so quiet. Without waking her up, she hoists the kid in her arms and walks home. Utkarsh is painted golden when she finally reaches it, the sun setting behind the mountains across them. Realizing that the young girl has yet to eat something, Taylor drops her off at the orphanage. On her way to her own shack, she pleasantly stumbles upon Karlie, who's wearing her usual light blue and yellow uniform.

"Hey," the leader greets her, her hand tentatively rubbing Taylor's arm. The American doesn't know how to interpret the loving caress, and she easily blushes. "I haven't seen you the whole day."

"Oh—yeah, um, I was out with, you know, Rue," she stutters. Upon realizing that Karlie still doesn't know about Taylor's new friendship, the American quickly explains, "She's the girl you met this morning. We actually met a few days ago, and—we're friends now. She's a really, um, sweet girl."

Karlie's silence makes her nervous, and the amused glint inside her jade green eyes, along with the soft afterglow, renders Taylor a stuttering mess.

"We bonded immediately and we—we just became friends, I guess. I, uh, we had a really great time today," Taylor blushes even more when she recalls their conversation about her feelings for Karlie. "We talked—a lot, and—she's a really smart girl. And very sweet."

"You already said that," Karlie observes, taking a step forward and teasingly tilting her head to the side. Taylor knows by the look the leader is giving her that she's enjoying this far too much. Therefore, she purses her lips and decides to not utter another word. "That's nice, by the way. I'm glad you made friends here, they're all really nice. A little reserved, but if you get to know them, you'll know what I mean."

"I forgot that you've already been here before," Taylor chuckles, ducking her head and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She looks around them, and sees that the cobblestone streets are for the most part empty. There are a few old men talking in front of someone's porch, the sound of muffled folk music filling the night that is about to lay on Utkarsh.

"Yeah," Karlie replies, averting her gaze. "It was years ago."

Taylor doesn't know how to respond to that, seeing the forlorn and pensive look on the rebel's face. She buries her hands in the pocket of her hoody, and shudders when a cold breeze blows by them. Karlie — being the selfless person that she is — notices it of course, and asks, "Are you cold?"

"Just a little," Taylor replies truthfully.

"Do you—," the leader bites her lip, flustered. "—do you want to come inside? My shack, I mean,"

The American stares neutrally at her, before answering, "Yeah. If you don't mind,"

"Some company wouldn't kill me," Karlie lamely laughs, and Taylor is surprised to see her so nervous. They walk silently to Karlie's shack, which was casually closer to them than Taylor's, and the leader lets her in with a timid smile. The first thing the American notices is the photograph laying on the wooden table, and she wonders who is portrayed in it, but Karlie places her body right in front of it, hiding it immediately. But Taylor's eyes give her away. "It's just—," the leader sighs. "—just a photo of Lakshmana."

"Oh, I wasn't—,"

"No, it's okay," Karlie smiles weakly. "Eyes never lie."

Taylor remains silent, waiting for the other woman to say more.

"Do you—want to see what she looked like?"

The American smiles just slightly. "It's up to you."

Karlie smiles faintly, lips tight as she takes the image in her hands and shows it to the blonde. "Now you can put a face to her name."

Taylor chuckles, setting her eyes on the photograph; Lakshmana was beautiful. She can't deny that. She kind of reminded her of someone she used to be friends with, back in the USA, and notices how dark her appearance was. Her almond eyes were dark, but not too gloomy. Her long brown tresses looked soft to the touch, and Taylor feels a pang of jealousy as she imagines Karlie tangling her hands in those hair. Lakshmana was smiling so big that her eyes almost disappeared, and she just looked so happy. She wonders if the reason behind that huge grin was because Karlie had been the one to take the photo.

"She looks beautiful."

"Looked."

Taylor glances up at Karlie, the latter trying to mask her pain by forcing a smile on her lips. The American nods. "She _looked_ like she was a really good person. And a really good soldier."

"She was," there's nostalgia in her voice, as she continues, "She was the only person who made war a little more bearable."

Karlie stares for a moment at the picture, fingers trembling, before she places it back on the table with a soft sigh.

"Are you okay?" Taylor asks without thinking.

"Yeah," Karlie replies, clearing her throat when her voice slightly cracks. "I'm okay."

The leader stares at her, hands placed against the wooden table. Her eyes look so soft and vulnerable, under the dim lighting hanging from the low ceiling. Taylor swallows, finding herself to be braver than normal as she doesn't look away from Karlie's intense gaze. For the first time since they've met, Taylor has the irrepressible urge to kiss the other woman. The force is so strong that she has to play with the hem of her hoody in order to hold back from the rebel. And the silence doesn't help, either, as it is the only thing that urges them to fill it with the sound of their lips locking. Taylor feels her hands tremble, as she clears her throat and looks down at her shoes; staring at Karlie is too dangerous for her now.

"I should go, now," she says after a while. Karlie seems to recover from the trance she's been trapped into for the past moments, and swallows thickly.

"Yeah, of course," she says quietly. "I'll see you tomorrow,"

Taylor gives her a curt nod of the head, and tries not to trip over her own steps as she exits Karlie's shack as quickly as possible. 


	20. Chapter 16

When the _Golden Path_ conquers the first outpost of the North, all the rebels are delighted and in the mood to celebrate. It's a spacious logging camp, with shacks scattered along the main gravel road. There is an ample space in the middle of the outpost, which is surrounded by a shop that sells weapons and ammos, and little colorful prayer flags hang from the roofs of the shanties. The rebels are welcomed by the various civilians that had been held hostage with open arms and loud whistles of gratitude. They are grateful to see the Golden Path after so many years, but when they come to know that Ajay Suri's daughter is present, the celebrations get even more louder. Taylor is whisked away from her companions by a group of fairly young Indian women, and the American is overwhelmed by all the attention that they're giving her.

The afternoon soon turns into evening, and the people of the logging camp prepare a bonfire and hand out big amounts of food. The rebels create a large circle, sitting down and feeling slightly exhausted from the strenuous activities of this long but successful day. A group of civilians play instruments, the sound of folk music now filling the night as the young women all dance together. Taylor happily joins them, and Karlie watches the scene unfold before her as the American has the time of her life.

There's a little flame of jealousy within her heart, as Taylor focuses all of her attention on one particular woman. All the rebels chatter noisily and laugh, drinking their drinks and not caring one bit if they get drunk by the end of the celebration.

"They seem really close," Sanjay is right by the leader's side, an amused smirk on his lips as he sees the obvious jealousy on Karlie's face.

"Yeah," the rebel swallows, as Taylor twirls the Indian woman and pulls her closer, with hands wrapped around the small of her waist. The pair laughs, and Karlie is unable to look at them as the civilian circles Taylor's neck with her arms and kisses her cheek sloppily.

"They're just having fun. I don't think you should worry too much," the man says calmly, drinking from his glass. Karlie hums and finishes eating her meat, not knowing how to feel towards the burning and unsettling sensation inside her heart. It's not the Indian woman's fault; no one knows about Karlie's feelings for Taylor, therefore the American can dance with whoever she wants and act flirty as much as she wants. But still, Karlie is jealous, and she hates to admit it to herself as she watches the pair dance.

"I'm just jealous. That's all,"

Sanjay smirks and chuckles.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"It's been a while since I've seen you act this way," the man observes, and Karlie can't help but agree with him.

"Yeah," Karlie lightly giggles. "Having a crush sucks."

"Are you sure that it's just a crush?" Sanjay wiggles his eyebrows.

"Oh, shut up,"

The man raises his hands in surrender and gets up. "I'll get us more drinks. You need to loosen up, _chief_."

Karlie watches him go. However, as she looks back at where Taylor was supposed to be, the American is nowhere to be seen. The leader furrows her brows and shrugs.

She thinks back at the wonderful day they've had, at how they've conquered the outpost with zero losses. She recalls the breathtaking smile that had overcome Taylor's face when they had finally declared victory. How they had high fived at the end of the battle. Karlie still remembers how inexperienced Taylor had been, at the beginning of January. How clumsy her movements had been, how bad her aim had been. Looking at her now, she seems like a complete new person. The American's arms are now defined by a thick layer of muscle, her shoulders are broader, and the invisible abs that had been covering her abdomen are now prominent and more defined.

Getting lost in the thought that is Taylor is as easy as breathing in fresh air, and Karlie doesn't hear the footsteps coming her way. All of a sudden, the woman clouding her brain appears beside her, with a goofy grin on her lips and with sapphire eyes sparkling under the dim lighting of the bonfire.

"Hey!" she exclaims happily and loudly, and Karlie wonders how many drinks she's had. There's a thin layer of sweat covering her forehead, and the messy blonde hair makes the leader want to tangle her hand in it. Taylor sits beside her, wearing a brown leather jacket over a grey sweatshirt and faded blue jeans.

"Hi," Karlie says just as happily. Her heart beats wildly against her chest as she notices the blonde's proximity, and tries not to get dizzy as her natural scent infiltrates her nostrils; Taylor smells like incense and leather.

Taylor observes her face, curious eyes roaming all over her features. "What are you doing?"

The rebel holds in her giggle. "Nothing. I just finished eating my dinner."

The blonde hums and slightly leans in. Karlie swallows and nervously chuckles.

"Are you drunk?"

Taylor seems offended by the amusement in her voice. "No, I'm not. I—might be tipsy, though."

Karlie can't help but laugh at the lost expression on the blonde's face; it's the first time she sees her intoxicated, and she's thoroughly enjoying this.

"Oh!" Taylor exclaims suddenly, eyes wide. Suddenly, she's on her feet, and she's dragging Karlie with her. "Let's dance! Come on, it will be fun!"

The song is upbeat and cheerful, and Karlie doesn't have enough time to answer, because then the American is already pulling her on the improvised dance floor. Taylor is tightly holding both of her hands, and she starts moving them to the rhythm of the folk song. The leader is not much for dancing, but if dancing with Taylor means seeing the biggest smile grow on her face, then she will dance as much as Taylor wants. The American is trying to sing along, her long legs clumsily moving and feet trying not to step on Karlie's. She's laughing out loud, and before she could lose her balance, Karlie wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her against her chest. Taylor is still giggling like a kid, throwing her own arms around Karlie's neck and holding onto her for dear life. The leader feels the vibrations of the American's laugh against her neck as they slow down their dancing.

When Taylor pulls away just enough to see Karlie's face, she screams, "I almost died!"

The leader furrows her brows and shakes her head with a chuckle. "No, you did not!"

The American smiles and objects. "Yes, I did!"

"Whatever," Karlie grins. Her hands instinctively rub Taylor's back, the woman between her arms smiling lovingly up at her. The people around them dance wildly and scream happily, finally free from Pagan Min's claws.

As the leader proudly watches them, Taylor surprises her by saying quietly, "You're beautiful."

Karlie's head immediately turns around, and bewildered green eyes meet the ocean filled with love that is Taylor's stare. The leader chuckles nervously and grips the leather jacket of the other woman. "You're drunk."

Taylor rolls her eyes, and with lips turned upwards says, "Tomorrow I will be sober and I will still think you're beautiful."

Karlie, speechless, stares at her for a moment. She would have kissed her right there, in the middle of the dance floor with the smell of victory floating around them, but she holds back and averts her gaze, cheeks blushing deeply. She places her chin on top of Taylor's head, and she hears her hum happily at the change of their embrace.

"Thank you," she says nevertheless. Karlie has never felt so much contentment in her entire life, and she wonders what it would feel like to live a life with Taylor minus the civil war.

The American snuggles up to her chest, and the leader can hear the smile in her voice as she whispers, "You're welcome."   
  
  


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By the end of May, three outposts of the North are finally under the safe wing of the _Golden Path_ , a movement that keeps on growing in terms of soldiers and supporters. The rebels now have a good portion of the North-West, even though the bases that they have conquered are small but strategic. However, as June begins, the leader still can't shake off the unsettling feeling that has settled on her stomach. This is all too good to be true. While attacking the outposts, their enemies hadn't shown too much aggression. They hadn't been too stubborn to protect their territory. It was as if they really didn't care that the Golden Path was moving quickly towards their goal; the King's Palace. A long way still separates them from Pagan Min. Hard obstacles and the fortress of the tyrant's right-hand man, Raksha, are between them, and they couldn't underestimate anything. Counterattacks could still come their way, and being caught off guard is the last thing Karlie wants for the Golden Path.

Yet, the leader doesn't share her worries, not with Sanjay, or with Ashawary, not even with the commander she's met at Utkarsh, Gaurish. She stands near the edge of a cliff, alone, the North of Pradesh silently laying in front of her under the soft blanket of the moonlight. The black smoke of unconquered outposts seeps through the layer of thick forests, and makes the country look like the calm before the storm.

She hears gentle footsteps behind her, and it's almost disquieting how she recognizes them as Taylor's.

"Hey," her voice is gentle, sweet like honey, and Karlie's racing heartbeat calms down at the sound of it. The leader doesn't acknowledge her presence, too preoccupied with the thoughts inside her brain. With her peripheral vision, she sees Taylor looking at her, deep blue irises stained with worry. "Everything okay?"

Karlie finally faces her, stares for a moment, before lowering her gaze to the electric blue tips of her hair. Behind her distant eyes, the leader imagines destruction, millions of innocent lives dying by the hands of the Royal Army's soldiers because she had been too hurried. She sees their red uniforms marked with crimson blood, and her own freezes in her veins, as she looks back at the vastness before her.

"Are we moving too fast?" she fearfully questions. Her voice is barely above a whisper, and there's a moment of silence from Taylor's part.

She hears the white snow crunch beneath the American's boots, as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. "No," she replies just as quietly. "I think you're doing the right thing."

"Do you really think that?" Karlie asks. "Or are you saying that just to make me feel better?"

The leader regrets it as soon as she hears how aggravated and agitated her own voice sounds. She didn't mean to snap, especially she didn't mean to take out her frustration on the one person that doesn't deserve it. She opens her mouth, about to utter an apology, but Taylor actually replies to her question.

"I _really_ think you're doing the right thing," she begins calmly. Karlie listens to her speak. "You're the most ambitious person I've ever met. You're great, you're kind with the others, and you're calm when everybody isn't. You're the beacon that leads your soldiers to _aspire_ to greatness. You're determined. You're—," Taylor sighs quietly, and in that moment, the leader meets her stare readily. "You're doing the right thing, Karlie. Don't ever doubt yourself."

The leader repeats those four words inside her head over and over, until a smile forms in both her lips and soul. "Thank you, Taylor."

The American gifts her with a big smile, and turns around to look at the view. "I'm always here for you," she briefly glances at the leader. "That's what friends are for."

Karlie feels a pang of disappointment upon hearing that statement, but she smiles anyway, feeling grateful for Taylor's presence beside her.   
  
  


-  
  
  
  
  


It's a cloudy day when Taylor goes back to Utkarsh.

The first thing she does is visit Rue, who happily greets her with a tight hug — the kind that leaves you breathless. The American is happy to see her after having spent so much time apart — almost two weeks — and she lifts her in the air when Rue shows she has no intention to let go. The kid squeals when Taylor begins to twirl around, the civilians around them smiling lightly at the joyful reunion.

"How is my favorite person in the whole wide world?" the American asks with a high pitched voice, ruffling her dark hair with one hand and holding her waist with the other.

"I missed you!" Rue exclaims, hugging her once Taylor is on her knees.

"I missed you too, kid," the American's smile is so big that her cheeks hurt.

When they pull away, the young girl grabs her hand and drags her through the crowded streets of Utkarsh. One thing that wasn't there, back at Banapur, was the day dedicated to the open-air market. Small stalls sold various objects, mainly handmade things, and decorated the narrow cobblestone paths of the town. It is the first time Taylor sees it, and it leaves her speechless.

"Taylor! Taylor!"

The American isn't able to properly observe the various items scattered across one of the stalls because then Rue pulls her towards the smallest stand of the market. The kid excitedly points at a stuffed animal — an adorable white bear — and looks up at Taylor with pleading eyes. The seller, who's an old olive skinned woman, smiles lovingly at the young girl's eagerness, before greeting the American with a light, "Hello."

"Hi," Taylor grins, before Rue grabs her attention by pulling at her hand.

The blonde looks down at her, and even though the question is blatant, Rue still asks, "Can I have it, please?"

The American finally eyes the object, then directs her attention to the old woman. "How much is it?"

"Just a few rupees," she answers, and the wrinkles under her grey eyes grow as the smile on her thin, chapped lips gets bigger.

Taylor nods, and doesn't hesitate as she takes all the rupees that she has inside the pockets of her pants and gives them to the seller. The woman takes them with a grateful bow, and then asks the little girls, "Would you like to hold it, kid?"

Rue nods quickly, and in no time she has the cutest stuffed animal between her thin arms.

"What do we say?" Taylor asks with a glint within her eyes.

"Thank you!" Rue exclaims, before busying herself with her new toy. The American thanks the older woman with a tight lipped grin, and then, once again, they're moving. But after this incredible purchase, the kid's attention is minimal, and Taylor decides to bring her outside the crowded streets of the open-air market. They find empty seats on a wooden bench, its backrest against a small cobblestone wall. The pair sits side by side, and Taylor wraps an arm around the little kid's waist.

"So," she begins. "What's its name?"

"Hm—Fuzz!"

Taylor smiles when seeing Rue's eyes light up. "Oh, that's a really cool name."

"Yeah, I know," the kid shrugs nonchalantly. "I love him already," she adds, hugging the white bear tightly and holding it against her chest. Taylor caresses her dark hair, and it's funny how she hasn't stopped smiling ever since she's been in Rue's presence today.

They spend the rest of the day together, playing with the kid's new toy and talking about everything and nothing. Just a few minutes after dropping Rue off at the orphanage, and as Taylor walks back towards her shack, the American is approached by an old man. The first thing she notices is his terrible looking appearance; his clothes are torn, and there is dirt on his face.

"Please, help me," he begins, his voice hoarse and deep. The blonde immediately stops walking and faces him, his chapped hands wrapping around her forearms as he clearly has trouble standing up. "You're Ajay Suri's daughter, right? The one that took down the wall of the Bridge."

Taylor swallows. "Yes, that's me."

"You have to help me,"

The American worriedly holds his arms, helping him sit down on the nearest bench. "How can I help you?"

"I need you to win Noor's Games," he says breathlessly. "Whoever is able to kill three rounds of lethal and dangerous animals, wins a good amount of rupees. I really need them—for my family. I have a wife, and three children, and we have no money left. Please—I'm begging you. _Help_ us,"

Taylor is at a loss of words, as she stutters, "What—are Noor's Games?"

"Noor hosts them at this arena—that is nearby the fortress," the old man says. "I know I'm asking for a lot, and it is so dangerous for you to go there, but I need—,"

"Hey," Taylor interrupts him, and as much as her heartbeat quickens and thumps wildly against her ribcage, she continues, "I _will_ help you, just—what do I need to know about this?"

"I will give you the coordinates, and there is a match every Saturday. You just have to go to the arena and say—that you want to fight,"

The American hurriedly nods. "Alright," she momentarily thinks about what day it is, and upon realizing that the following is already Saturday, she swallows thickly. "I will try and win. Tomorrow,"

The old man covers his mouth as a tear rolls down his thin cheek. "Oh, thank you so much, kind soul," he whispers, unconsciously pulling her in and embracing her. Taylor is too caught up in thinking _Is this a good idea?_ To properly hug him back. "You're as kind and as fearless as your father was."

When the American realizes that he's talking about Ajay, her heart clenches. "I will try my best, I promise."

She keeps repeating that to herself, over and over again, as she spends a sleepless night staring at the ceiling and worrying about what was about to happen. 


	21. Chapter 17

Taylor didn't warn anybody of her new and risky trip to the most dangerous zone of the North. She didn't warn Rue, or Karlie, or Sanjay. She just left her shack in the early hours of Saturday morning, the hood of her grey sweatshirt covering her head as she furtively sneaked off Utkarsh with one of the technical cars parked a few meters away from the entrance of the town. Her hands tremble, her eyes dart back and forth the wing mirrors, and the fact that the territory she's diving into is unsafe and filled with enemies make her whole body shake with both fear and adrenaline. Her knuckles turn white, as the death grip she has on the steering wheel tightens. The American doesn't know how much time it will take for her to reach this arena; she doesn't even know what it looks like. That old man had just told her that she would recognize it, since she had to park her car at the end of a long cobblestone staircase that would eventually lead her to the entrance of the arena. Taylor doesn't even know what to expect from this; will she really be able to kill _all of those_ animals? Will she be able to kill wolves, and perhaps bears, and foxes? The fact that the answers to these questions are all a mystery make her throat go dry and heart beat wildly inside her ribcage, because — what if she dies? What if she doesn't make it, and overestimates her skills? What would Karlie say, or do, or think of her? What would Rue do _without_ her?

However, before she could regret her decision and go back to Utkarsh, Taylor finally spots the end of the staircase and parks the car along the road. She quickly crosses the street and ascends the stairs in a hurry, not wanting to be exposed for too long. The American reaches the top with heavy breath and reddened cheeks. She pulls the collar of her jacket up her neck, shivering because of the cold temperatures.

Nobody recognizes her; or perhaps, nobody looks her way. There is a large crowd in front of the entrance, and she pushes her way through until she stumbles upon a topless woman. Her sapphire eyes can't help but ogle at the naked patch of skin, and she blushes when she sees the smirk on her face once she meets her stare.

"Welcome to Noor's Games," her voice is deep and sultry, and Taylor swallows. "Would you like to play?"

The blonde stiffens when the other woman trails her hands up her clothed torso. Taylor remembers the old man's words, and nods quickly. "Yes."

The woman's smirk grows. "Perfect. Follow _me_."

-

Her heart has never beaten so hard before.

Taylor can hear everything; from the sound of her blood flowing in her veins, to the cheers beyond the cobblestone door. Everything is loud, every noise reaching her ears amplified as she desperately holds onto the only weapon she's been given; a simple shotgun. With only seven bullets, who knows how many animals she has to kill in order to win.

"Alright, dear, good luck," the woman from before whispers against her neck, and her wandering hands briefly touch Taylor's tense sides. Just then, the doors open, and bright lights blind her as she's pushed inside the real arena. Not enough air reaches her lungs, as she's wonderstruck by the sight before her. The arena is flat, there is sand beneath her feet, and people are screaming her way as she stands alone. Taylor looks like a caged animal, as a horn echoes and another door across her opens. There, her first real enemy silently walks towards her; a fox. Its orange fur almost looks soft to the touch, but the blonde attentively moves to her right, never disconnecting her eyes from the animal. It almost looks innocent, as it keeps watching her with a feral gaze. Taylor tries to remember Karlie's lessons, when she had taught her how to hunt without losing control over her body. But it seems like a difficult task, as the first thing she does when the animal leaps towards her is run for the hills. The people surrounding the arena cheer, obviously entertained by the scene unfolding beneath them as Taylor tries not to trip. She hears the hungry growl of the fox, and before it could latch on her calf and hurt her, she turns around and hits him with the back of her shotgun. The fox whimpers, now taking a few steps back as it snarls at the blonde woman. Taylor aims at it, and with shaky fingers, thinking _it's now or never_ , she pulls the trigger and kills him on the spot. The crowd applauds and whoops, and she looks up at them with wide and bewildered eyes.

However, before she can even feel the slightest amount of happiness, another horn is heard, and the same door opens, now revealing a grey and furious group of two wolves. They howl, their stomachs seeking for fresh and succulent flesh, and Taylor's heart beats inside her throat as she grips her weapon tighter. Instead of waiting, the two animals immediately run towards her, and she's unfortunately caught off guard as they jump in her arms. Taylor blocks the wolf's snout with her shotgun, pushing it against his throat as it tries to bite her face. Meanwhile, the other animal attempts to attack her legs, but with the help of her feet, the American's hard boots kick its body and send him away. She hears them whimper, as she rolls around and straddles the furious animal. As quickly as she manages to be, Taylor shoots the first wolf in the chest, effectively killing him, and shoots the other once it tries to wound her shoulder.

Another round is finished, and another round is won.

Taylor's clothes are stained with their warm blood, but her own freezes in her veins once she finally sets her eyes upon her last enemy; a tiger.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she whispers under her breath, standing up and fixing her torn hoody. "Come on, don't be afraid!" she screams at the animal, as if it could understand her words. And, magically, the tiger leaps towards her, with fangs as big as her hands. Taylor's eyes widen, and with as much strength as she can muster, she hits the side of the tiger's snout with her shotgun and sends him lying on the sandy ground. She has four ammos left, four chances at winning this game. And now that the tiger wasn't paying attention to her, whimpering as it gets once again to its feet, she quickly aims at his chest and shoots, already feeling the taste of victory.

However, the bullet in his body is nothing, as he whimpers once again but doesn't collapse on the floor. Taylor feels her own heart drop to her stomach, as he growls loudly and attacks her. The American is quick to dodge its lethal paws, and fires once again, this time injuring the side of his muzzle. The tiger bleeds, and bleeds as it slowly wobbles towards the blonde, but victory is still not hers to claim.

The fact that there are only two bullets left inside her shotgun scares her, but she's not discouraged as, this time, she perfectly aims at the middle of his snout and pulls the trigger. The tiger finally lets out a long and loud whine, and, after what seems like an eternity, its paws give up and its heavy body falls to the ground, lifeless.

The applauses and celebratory cheers that come her way overwhelm her, as she's clearly won the last round of the game. Taylor stands in the middle of the arena, the proudest smile sitting on her lips as she lets the people's scream bathe her in what is a shower of success. Suddenly, a small door situated at the side of the arena opens, and the woman that had greeted her at the entrance appears behind her.

"Congratulations, darling, you've won the Games," she says, and a smirk covers her lips as she adds, "Noor _would_ like to meet you."

-

When they exit the arena, Taylor is led down a narrow and dimly lit corridor, the loud cheers from her victory still echoing within her brain. She doesn't know who this Noor is, but she guesses that she will be the one to give her the money since the games she's just won bear her name.

Once they reach a wooden door, the woman knocks and a distant voice is heard beyond it. The woman opens it, and lets Taylor inside before closing it behind the American's back. _Strange_ , she thinks.

"I finally get to meet Ajay's daughter."

When the blonde turns around, she's surprised by her surroundings. A tall, olive skinned woman sits on the edge of a king sized bed, at the end of the large chamber, a flirtatious smirk dancing on her thin lips. She gets up, brushing her hands against the bedpost, and the jewelry hanging from her waist clink with each step she takes towards the American. The woman's body is covered in gold, pearl earrings hanging from her earlobes, silver necklaces wrapped around her long and elegant neck, and lastly diamonds in her bracelets.

Taylor's throat is unable to let out any words, as the dark haired woman now stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed. The flimsy dress she's wearing leaves nothing to the imagination, and the American tries her hardest not to let her eyes wander.

"Cat got your tongue, darling?"

The blonde clears her throat, clearly embarrassed as she looks away. "No, ma'am."

The woman scoffs. "Oh, please," she begins. "Don't call me _ma'am_. I'm Noor," she introduces herself, offering her hand for Taylor to shake. The American meets her eyes — a pool of pure, dark obsidian — and swallows.

"I'm Taylor."

When she grasps Noor's hands, the woman's attention lowers to the American's body, and even when they stop shaking hands, Noor's fingers still stay wrapped around Taylor's. The blonde blushes under such scrutiny, not knowing how to act as the other woman hungrily checks her out.

"Taylor is a nice name for a beautiful girl like you," Noor says, voice deep and full of desire. Taylor wonders if she acts this way with all of the winners. There's a moment of silence, where Noor keeps her eyes trained on the American's face, but then she turns her back to the blonde and orders, "Please, sit on the bed. Make yourself comfortable, I want to have a chat with you."

Taylor crosses the chamber on trembling legs, and sits down where the woman had been sitting a few moments ago. The silky sheets are soft under her hands, as she places them against the mattress. Her moment of distraction soon ends when Noor suddenly lowers herself on Taylor's lap, effectively straddling her waist. The American's breath hitches in her throat, surprise written all over her face as Noor airily laughs at her bewildered expression.

"Oh my," she giggles. Even her giggle sounds expensive. "Your face was priceless, dear."

"I—,"

"Shh," Noor silences her, placing a finger on her lips. "No need to apologize," the smile that forms on her mouth is mischievous, and Taylor's heart pounds against her ribcage. "So," the woman begins, hanging her arms loosely around the blonde's neck. Noor smells like incense and money, and Taylor is not surprised. "What brings you here?"

"I—I wanted to win the games. For the money."

"Money?"

"Yeah," Taylor anxiously nods.

"Well," Noor sighs. "Your performance out there was both incredible and a big turn on for me, to say the least," a laugh fills her pause. "Are you tense, darling?" she questions, dragging her hands up and down Taylor's covered arms.

"I—I'm not," she stutters. She doesn't know why, but something about this woman renders her a complete mess of nervousness.

"Well, is there someone special in your life that has the pleasure to relieve some of your stress, love?" Noor's question catches her off guard, and Taylor blushes deeply. The thought of Karlie briefly crosses her mind.

"I—no,"

Unfortunately for her, the American must have sounded a little bit disappointed, because then Noor's perfectly shaped eyebrow raises, and the woman twirls a strand of Taylor's blonde hair between her fingers.

"Lucky me, then," Noor snickers. "I've always wanted to kiss an American,"

The blonde has not enough time to think about the implications of her statement because then, out of the blue, Noor's thin lips are against hers and, unexpectedly, she cups Taylor's face so that the blonde is unable to pull away. The American is too shocked to react, her eyes wide as Noor quickly deepens the kiss. A low moan is heard, and then words are whispered against her mouth, "Just imagine that I'm _that_ rebel, Karlie. It will make everything better."

Noor isn't able to reconnect their lips as Taylor leans away from her and bewilderedly asks, "What?"

The other woman rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Oh, please. I've heard the rumors. Just think about her, alright? You—you're a really _great_ kisser and I would like to continue."

Noor's lips are once again on hers, and Taylor's thoughts inevitably go back to the leader. When she closes her eyes and lets herself be guided by Noor's dominant tongue, it's easy to forget about who she's really kissing and to imagine Karlie instead. She thinks about her scent, how she always smells of incense. She thinks about the shape of her body, of her taut muscles, and when Taylor tangles her hand in the other woman's hair, she thinks about Karlie's brunette tresses and how good they would slide between her fingers, as if it were sand. When Noor moans, the American wonders what it would feel like, to hear the leader's sighs of pleasure and taste them in her mouth.

And when Noor begins to nip and suck at a particularly sensitive spot in her neck, Taylor lazily opens her eyes, and disappointedly realizes that the woman in her lap isn't Karlie.

"I—I'm sorry," the blonde mutters, gently pushing Noor away. "I really can't do this."

"That's understandable," Noor says, and Taylor almost feels bad. "Heaven can't last forever," there's a disappointed sigh, before the woman gets off of the blonde's lap and fixes her long, dark hair. When she glances at Taylor, a laugh comes out of her mouth, "Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have given you a hickey,"

The American blushes, and instinctively pulls up the collar of her leather jacket. "It was good," she admits.

Noor smirks. "Well, then," she begins. "You can now go, here is your money,"

A bag full of rupees is handed to the American, and Taylor's mouth widens upon feeling the heavy weight. When the old man had told her that the prize was a _good amount of money_ , she didn't certainly think of or expect _this_.

"Thank you,"

"Oh, no need to thank me. You deserved it," she says with a smile. "And since you were a really great kisser — and I know that you are a part of the Golden Path — I will now help you. Many soldiers of the Royal Army come here, and you know how I am—," Noor drags a finger down Taylor's chest. "I can seduce them into telling me some _secrets._ "

The American slightly smiles at the implication of the mysterious woman. "That would really help us, thank you, Noor."

The woman nods. "Even my name sounds heavenly when it comes from your lips," she sighs. "Anyway — I hope the money will help you. And if you ever need _something_ , don't hesitate to come here and pay me a visit."

At this point, Taylor is sure that the smirk will never leave the woman's face. "Oh, um, okay. And, um—if you ever need help, you know where to find me."

Noor thanks her with a peck on the cheek, and Taylor leaves the chamber with a slight blush on her face, her brain still thinking about their kiss shared on the bed and wondering what it would have felt like if Karlie had been in Noor's place. 


	22. Chapter 18

The man had been ecstatic when seeing Taylor return with the bag full of rupees. Saying that he had been delighted is an understatement. He had thanked her so many times that at one point, the American had lost count. And the fact that _she_ had been the one to make him happy, and had _really_ helped him, made the biggest smile bloom on her face as she walked back to Utkarsh.

However, her pride soon disappears when a hand harshly grasps her wrist and turns her around.

"Where the _fuck_ were _you_?!"

She doesn't know what surprises her the most; Karlie's furious face and stance, or the fact that the _leader_ is yelling at her in the middle of the street. Taylor firmly pulls her hand away from the rebel's tight grasp, and attempts to keep her mouth shut and not reveal where she had really been.

"Are you going to answer me or are you—just going to stand there and not say a thing, uh?"

The American sighs loudly, "Karlie, I'm—,"

"I tried calling you. _Multiple_ times. Because the Royal _fucking_ Army has been trying to get one of their outposts back, and the other rebels need our help because they're plodding along, so will you please do me the favor—," Karlie suddenly pauses, eyes glued on the bruised skin right below Taylor's jaw. The American furrows her brow at her sudden silence, and when she remembers that Noor had accidentally given her a hickey, her stomach drops. The leader averts her eyes, jaw firmly clenched and eyes burning with anger and — was that _jealousy_?

"Karlie, let me—,"

"No, I've _seen_ enough," the rebel interrupts her. "If you wanted to disappear just to go fuck some _bitches_ , then you should have warned someone. I don't know if you're aware of this—," Karlie takes a step forward, voice dropping an octave lower. "—but we're in the fucking North. Going out there, _alone_ , it's fucking dangerous. Do you hear me? If you want to behave like a _slut_ and go out there and have sex — we all have our _needs_ — go. Have as _much_ sex as you want, but _at least_ warn someone the next time."

Taylor's face falls, heart clenching with pain upon hearing Karlie's evil words. Her throat tightens, and her sapphire eyes sting with tears. And in order to not let the rebel see how much she truly hurt her with her words, she lowers her face and bites the inside of her cheek to keep quiet.

"And now—," Karlie breathes heavily. "Please do me a favor. Go change into your uniform and show yourself at the entrance of Utkarsh in less than ten minutes."

The leader doesn't wait for Taylor's answer, immediately pushing her way past her and walking away from the bewildered woman. It is then, when she's finally alone, with her gaze trained firmly on the cobblestone path, that she lets her tears fall freely from her eyes.

-

Sitting on one of the leather seats on the back of the open-backed pickup truck, is Taylor, with the smallest of frowns on her lips. Across her sits Karlie, with a confused and full of questions Sanjay beside her. It's clear that there is an unresolved argument between the two women, the stubborn silence hanging above them making it very obvious to the man. Sanjay raises his eyebrows, brown eyes darting back and forth the American and the leader. There are three other rebels with them, oblivious to it all as they mind their business.

Karlie is undoubtedly mad about something, and Taylor seems hurt, disappointed even, as she stares at the dark boots encasing her feet. The leader sighs impatiently, and moves in her seat as if the leather were burning her. The blonde's grip on her rifle is too tight, and Sanjay thinks that she will make her bottom lip bleed if she doesn't stop biting it. The tension between the women is almost painful to watch and witness, and for the first time in a while, Sanjay is unable to fix the problem. He tries to think about what could have gone wrong between them, but is left empty handed. The day before they had been fine, and now they couldn't even look at each other.

"Hey," Sanjay whispers, the sound of the car's wheels against the gravel road making it impossible for Taylor to hear their conversation. Karlie briefly glances at him, but then stubbornly averts her eyes. "Everything okay?"

"I'm fine," she grumbles quietly. Sanjay stares at her for a moment, before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He can't stand the leader when she blatantly doesn't speak the truth; as if thinking that he could fall easily for her lies. They've been friends for far too long, and although Sanjay wants to help her at the moment, he's painfully aware that this is something that could be fixed by only one of the two women. He silently looks at Taylor, and is surprised to see so much sorrow in a pair of beautiful sapphire eyes. As he looks back at Karlie, he wonders if maybe _she_ is the one at fault. But then, when Taylor turns her head towards her left, to look at the road that the pickup truck is leaving behind them, he sees — _is that a hickey?_. Sanjay furrows his brow, shaking his head. _No, it can't be_.

Finally, they reach their destination, and everyone silently gets off the vehicle. They still have a few miles to walk, but in order to not alarm any enemies, they've decided to proceed by foot. And Sanjay sees this as the perfect opportunity to speak with the leader, possibly far away from Taylor.

"Hey, Kar,"

Usually, when Karlie is angry, she walks oddly fast, and Sanjay tries to catch up to her. She ignores him, keeping her head low and her attention on the street.

"Um, is everything okay with — you know, Taylor? You seem—," he pauses, looking for the right word. "—distant."

He hears a light groan coming from the back of her throat, and she keeps staying silent on the argument. Sanjay glances behind them, catching Taylor staring at them before the American quickly looks away, clearly embarrassed.

"Taylor has a — I think, a hickey? On her neck? What happened?" he asks. When Karlie doesn't utter a word, leaving him with nothing, he tries to come up with different scenarios that could have been the cause of their fight. "Um, I don't know — did she hit her neck somewhere?" no response. "Did a bug prick her?" still silence. "Oh, wait—," Sanjay pauses, brain lost in the clouds that were his wild thoughts. "Oh, I know! You two had sex and it was terrible!"

That finally gets Karlie's attention. "What? Sanjay—,"

"Ah! I knew it! Although I'm a little disappointed. She looks like she's really good at—,"

"Sanjay, stop! We didn't—," she halts, her voice too loud. She whispers, "—we didn't have sex. I'm not the one who has given her the hickey."

And from that statement, Sanjay understands everything. Karlie is _jealous._ "Oh," he mutters. "Oh," he repeats, dragging the sound out until the leader groans. "Oop—someone's jealous."

"Shut the fuck up," Karlie says under her breath. "It's not funny."

"Oh, yes. Yes, it is."

"I—," the leader sighs. "I think I might have gone too far. I—called her a slut, Sanjay."

"Oh," Sanjay frowns. "Well, it's not funny anymore," he mutters. "But why? Did you catch her at an orgy or—,"

"What?! No! She just—she disappeared for a whole day, didn't answer my calls, and then came back with a hickey. It wasn't there when I had seen her last time, so it's obvious that she's had sex with someone."

"Well, did she tell you that?" the rebel asks. When Karlie stubbornly stays quiet, he continues, "What? You made that all up?"

"No, I didn't, I just—I just assumed, I guess."

"Knowing you, why am I not surprised? You never give the others an opportunity to explain. Maybe if you had let Taylor explain, she would have told you the truth, because believe _me_ , she's not a slut. She's a good person."

"I know."

Thinking about their argument, Karlie feels stupid. Maybe she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Maybe she should have let Taylor explain. Because even if she _did_ have sex with someone, it wasn't her place to judge. Taylor didn't know about her feelings, therefore she could go and fuck whoever she wanted. The American didn't owe her anything.

"Do you think that—that I should apologize? For what I said?"

"You shouldn't have called her a slut in the first place, but _yes_ , you should apologize. As soon as possible," Sanjay answers.

Karlie takes a deep breath, and then glances at him with a small smile dancing on her lips. It's funny and wild how much a conversation with Sanjay can help her put it back together. Five minutes ago she had been incredibly furious and angry at Taylor, and now she feels like the most idiot person in the world, regretting every single word that she has said to the American.

"Thank you, Sanjay."

"You're welcome, chief."

There's a mischievous smile on his lips, and she knows that it's there because, once again, he had proven her that she had been a complete jackass. And despite that, despite the awkward dynamic between her and Taylor, she fights with every ounce of strength she has in her body and soul, and as soon as they succeed on scaring the Royal Army away and claiming their outpost back, she plans on talking to the American as soon as she can. 


	23. Chapter 19

"All you adults do is fight. I don't want to grow up if I will always have to fight with others."

Taylor loses one of her hands on the gentle and soft waves of Rue's dark tresses. The kid has her head on the American's lap, eyes trained on the starry sky above them. The blonde shakes her head, staring lovingly at the little girl beneath her.

"We don't always fight, Rue. It's just—sometimes we have disagreements, and sometimes there are misunderstandings. It's human nature."

Rue hums, and she reaches out to grab Taylor's free hand. "I just think that your fight was stupid. I know she offended you, but you should go talk to her. Maybe she will apologize."

"Or maybe she won't."

"Trust me, she will,"

Rue's young feminine voice makes her chuckle, as their eyes meet. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes," the kid replies. "She _will_ apologize. I like to think that people like you and Karlie are good, and that you won't be stupid enough to let this argument ruin everything."

"I just—I'm not ready to forgive her yet, you know? We're not obliged to forgive someone immediately. She really _hurt_ me with her words, and I just think—," Taylor sighs. Upon seeing her friend in distress, Rue squeezes her hand three times and smiles up at her, gifting her with one of her genuine and naïve smiles. The American is grateful for her, as she adds, "I'm not ready to forgive her yet."

Rue shrugs innocently. "That's okay. You will forgive her when you will be ready," she says, keeping on staring at the dark sky. "But you need to promise me something."

Taylor grins. "What?"

"Promise me that you _will_ forgive her. That you won't let this ruin your friendship."

The American gazes at the young girl, amazed by how much seriousness echoes inside her words. "I promise," she whispers.

"Pinky promise!" Rue exclaims, holding up her hand. The American laces her pinky with Rue's, and the kid's smile is so bright that it deserves a place on the starry sky above them. Rue holds onto Fuzz, and then excitedly hollers, "A shooting star! Did you see that?"

Taylor shakes her head and groans. "Damnit! I missed it," she whines, laughing along with the kid. "Don't forget to make a wish, Rue,"

"How could I forget? The best part of stargazing is when you have to make a wish, duh."

The American chuckles, and then lets her head fall against the bark of the tree.

"Rue?"

"Yes?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Hm,"

Taylor meets her gaze. She smiles, softly, gently. "Thank you."

The kid adorably hides her face in the crook of her neck. "You're welcome," she mumbles, voice muffled by her sweatshirt. The blonde chuckles quietly, and as she goes back to staring at the starry sky, she's convinced that the most beautiful star is lying right between her arms.   
  
  


-  
  
  


Karlie comes around about three days after their argument.

The American is practicing her hand-to-hand combat skills with Ashawary at the open-air training area. The leader is hesitant, standing a few meters away from the small gate of the wooden fence delineating the section. She stares at the blonde's toned back muscles, slightly shining with sweat under the weak afternoon sun. Taylor wears only a black sports bra and tight grey leggings, abs and arms on full display. Karlie swallows thickly, and attempts to extinguish the burning of jealousy blooming inside her chest as she notices that Taylor's hickey hasn't disappeared yet. She must be strong, and after taking a deep breath and ignoring the fact that the American's light groans and heavy breath are making her brain go crazy, she steps forward and lets her presence known by the two women.

"Oh—good afternoon, chief. Do you need something?" Ashawary asks, her eyes going back and forth between Taylor and Karlie. The blonde, upon realizing that the leader is here, quickly turns around and faces the taller woman. The leader swallows again, biting the inside of her cheek as she can't help but find Taylor incredibly attractive, with her slightly sweaty blonde hair and electric blue tips sticking to her forehead and neck.

"Can I borrow Taylor for a second? I would like to talk to her, possibly alone," she tries to sound authoritative, and she hides her vulnerability by crossing her arms over her chest. Ashawary curtly nods, exiting the exercising area as quickly as possible. Finally, Karlie takes the other rebel's place, and she sees Taylor withdrawing in her own safe shell. The American closes her hands in tight fists, and doesn't meet Karlie's gaze as she stares at the gravel beneath their feet. She wears a deep frown, and the leader feels guilty, knowing that it's there because of her.

Karlie takes a deep breath, softening her hard stare as she hesitantly begins, "I would like to apologize," Taylor remains silent, stubbornly kicking the small pebbles with her feet. "I—I'm sorry, Taylor. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said, and I'm sorry if I hurt you with my words. Believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just—I had a really bad day and then—," _seeing you with a hickey made everything worse,_ she wanted to say. But those were words that she still couldn't say out loud. "—I was really worried about you. I thought that something bad had happened to you, because here, in the North, we're _constantly_ surrounded by danger, and when you didn't answer my calls, I just—I assumed the _worst_."

Taylor briefly glances at the leader, the flicker of understanding shortly burning within her sapphire eyes. Still, she obstinately remains silent. Karlie stands there, helpless, not knowing what to say next as Taylor gives her nothing but painful silence.

"Taylor, please—,"

"I can't," she finally says. Taylor bites her bottom lip. "I can't forgive you. Not _yet_ , at least."

"But—,"

"No, Karlie," the American interrupts her, finally raising her head and meeting her pleading stare. The color inside of her eyes isn't comforting, it isn't peaceful and like a tender cuddle. It is hard, unfamiliar, hostile, and incredibly cold. Karlie feels a shiver run down her spine. "You called me a _slut_. I don't care if you had a bad day and were worried about me. That is not an excuse for you to be calling me a slut, Karlie," Taylor pauses slightly. "And for what? For having a simple hickey on my neck? That is enough for you to believe that I'm a slut?"

"Taylor, no, I—,"

"You didn't even let me explain. You didn't give me enough time to tell you exactly _why_ I had a hickey on my neck," the American shakes her head, sheer disappointment shining within her eyes.

"Then explain it to me now, Taylor. Explain to me why you didn't answer my calls, then," Karlie says, exasperated and hopeless.

The blonde sighs, shakes her head slightly, and says, "I won Noor's Games," Karlie's eyes widen, probably knowing what they were and just _how_ difficult and risky they were. "But before you can judge me—I won them just because a poor old man had asked me to. He needed the money, and by winning that prize, that money, I _helped_ him. He didn't have enough food to eat, and he had to feed his children and his wife. I _wanted_ to help him," Taylor explains. "And the hickey—Noor was fascinated by my performance, and she's just—,"

"A seducer," Karlie finishes for her. There's a disappointed frown on her face. "I know."

Taylor stares at her. "She wanted to meet me, and things—things escalated quickly. But—we didn't do anything. We just kissed and she accidentally gave me an hickey. Nothing more happened,"

Karlie does everything she can to hide the jealousy, her brain unable to stop images of Taylor making out with Noor from flashing before her eyes.

Taylor continues, "And—she promised me that if she finds out secrets about the Royal Army, she will tell them to me. She will help us,"

Karlie has a hard time believing Noor's words, but she nods anyway.

"That is _why_ I didn't answer your call. Because I was busy doing something helpful, for _once._ So I'm sorry if I tried to help someone and fruitlessly worried you."

Those are the last words coming from Taylor's mouth, as she turns her back to the leader and walks towards the small gate.

"Taylor—,"

"I'm sorry, Karlie," the blonde shakes her head. "But I—I need time for myself. I'm sorry."

With that, Taylor walks away, leaving the rebel with nothing but invisible hope for forgiveness.  
  
  


-  
  
  


"So she didn't forgive you?"

Karlie swallows the rest of her drink. One thing she remembers about the North is that the civilians here, even though they seem more private and closed off, they're actually not, and one of them owns a bar in the North-West, where it is safe for rebels to go and have a drink with their friends.

The place isn't very crowded, and she's grateful for it, because she looks like a mess. Eyes are tired and slightly puffy from crying, hair is thrown in a messy bun, and her light blue uniform is lightly torn at the edges and a tad dirty. The leader stares at her empty glass, and asks for another.

"Nope," she replies, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. Sanjay sighs and looks away.

"That's terrible, man,"

"I don't need pity, Sanjay. I fucking deserved it."

"Well, I _know_ you deserved it—," Karlie glares at him. "—but you're both in pain right now. And I think that's not necessary nor useful."

"Tell that to her,"

"Kar," the man tilts his head to the side. "Don't be mad at her. She didn't do anything wrong."

"She didn't answer my calls for an entire day. I was worried sick, and you tell me she didn't do anything wrong?"

"Well, you called her a slut just _because_ you saw a hickey and got jealous."

Karlie groans. "Noor gave her that hickey. She disappeared for a whole day because she had to win Noor's Games."

"I'm sure she had a good reason to win those terrible games. Noor gives a really generous amount of money to the winner."

The leader recalls Taylor's selfless reason, and can't help but fall in love with her even more. "She did," she begins quietly. "She won the money and then gave them to the poor and old man that had asked for her help. She did it for a good reason."

"See? I told you she is a good person and not a slut," Sanjay shrugs innocently, sipping from his glass of water. Karlie gulps down her drink quickly, grimacing at the burning sensation sliding along her throat. "Hey, easy on that alcohol. Drink some water. I don't want to carry your drunk ass back to Utkarsh," Sanjay laughs loudly. Karlie shakes her head and takes the offered water.

"Taylor still disappeared, though. I know she did a good thing, but she could have warned me, at least."

"Would you have let her go if she'd warned you?"

It is a great question, and Sanjay has a point. And of course, the answer is no. Because of her stupid and selfish desire of keeping Taylor safe, Karlie would have never let her go and play Noor's Games. Her friend chuckles, the rebel's silence telling him everything he needed to know.

"I'm still mad that she didn't tell me," Karlie insists. "She can't go around Pradesh like—like she knows what she's doing. We know what war is like, she doesn't. She's still too naïve and impulsive, she—,"

"Don't treat her like a kid, Karlie. She's thirty one years old. She's older than you,"

"That doesn't mean anything,"

"That's not the point. She's been here for six months, and she's already seen a lot. She's learned a lot, and she does her best to be like the other rebels. She wants to be the best, don't—overshadow her improvement."

Karlie doesn't meet his eyes as she gazes at the transparent liquid swirl inside her cold glass. "I'm not—,"

"Don't say that, Kar. I know what you're going to say, but don't say that," Sanjay interrupts her. "You don't have to act like you have to protect her all the time. She's her own person, she knows that there are risks if she goes outside alone and doesn't warn anyone. Taylor is smart, she's aware of what she's doing."

"I'm not protecting her," Karlie says defensively.

"Yes, you are," Sanjay lowers his voice. "You are protecting her because you're afraid she's going to end up like Lakshmana and you don't want to lose her."

Agitated, Karlie shifts in her seat. "Am I really that selfish, Sanjay?"

"You're not selfish, you just—," the man sighs quietly. "You just care a lot about her."

The leader blushes deeply, knowing that what he is saying is true. "I just—I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her, you know? But it's also scary. Caring so much about her is freaking me out."

"I know," Sanjay nods, understanding written all over his face. "Do you remember what you said o me after Lakshmana died?"

Karlie furrows her brows. "No, I'm sorry."

"You told me that you would never love anyone else like you loved her. That she was your great love, your soulmate, the _love_ of your life. But I think—you were too young. And now you are older, you are more mature, you're stronger, and I really think that—Taylor could be the one for you."

His statement immediately makes her heart pound against her chest with immense fright. "I don't—I don't know, Sanjay."

"And you are both wasting your time, right now. You should tell her how you feel, and maybe she will understand why you always want to keep her safe."

Karlie stops swirling the liquid in her glass, and places it down. She sighs, "I think it's time to go back to Utkarsh." 


	24. Chapter 20

She's spent five long and never ending days thinking about Sanjay's words. Karlie hates to admit it to herself, but perhaps he was right. Maybe they were really wasting their time in stupid fights and spending time apart. Maybe, telling Taylor how she really feels, telling her the real reason why she had been so angry at her when seeing her with that hickey, was the right thing. But even though it is probably the right thing, Karlie still feels anxious. She doesn't know if she's more afraid of rejection or if she's more afraid of her feelings being mutual. Either way, sooner or later, the leader has to tell the American how she really feels, because if she keeps on keeping this secret to herself, she's probably going to explode. And she doesn't want to be a mess; she has a rebel movement to lead.

And that is why she's here, with shaking hands and a wildly beating heart inside her chest, standing a few feet away from the outpost Taylor is residing in. The American is outside, scribbling on what looks like to be her journal, and there are a few other rebels around her, drinking water and minding their own business. One of them is smoking, their legs sprawled across the wooden table. It is one of the smallest outposts they have conquered, and it is one of the few that is along the road.

Karlie takes a deep breath, and confidently walks towards the blonde. She looks so beautiful, with her soft blonde hair down and her bangs slightly covering her eyes; with the first button of her light blue uniform undone, showing just the tiniest bit of skin. The leader swallows, and upon reaching the table they're all sitting at, she clears her throat awkwardly.

"Oh, hello, chief," one of the rebels says, straightening their posture. From the corner of her eyes, she spots Taylor looking up at her, mouth slightly open in surprise. The rebel that had been carelessly smoking almost falls from his chair, blushing when he sits normally on his seat.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Karlie says authoritatively. "Could you please leave me and Taylor alone?"

The three of them all nod as quickly as possible, fleeing after having collected their belongings. The American stares at her neutrally, as she sits down across her and crosses her arms on the table. Taylor immediately closes her journal and puts it aside, looking up at the other woman expectantly.

"Um—how are you?" Karlie begins. _Great_ , she thinks to herself, _I'm already messing this up._ She hates the sound of her voice; incredibly vulnerable and weak and nervous. The leader bites her bottom lip, and covers her anxiousness by playing with her fingers.

Taylor raises her eyebrows and averts her eyes. "I'm good, thank you," she doesn't elaborate, and Karlie is left empty handed. She had hoped for some small talk, just to calm down her nerves before making her big confession.

She tries again, "What are you doing?"

This time, Taylor sighs. "Listen, if you've come here just to talk—,"

"I'm sorry," Karlie immediately apologizes. "I know you've told me to leave you alone but—," she hesitates, but then thinks about what she has to tell her in a few moments, and continues, "—I _missed_ you."

Taylor's hard stare surprisingly softens at those words. She lowers her head, not saying anything about what Karlie had just said to her.

"I'm sorry," she begins. "I'm sorry for how I treated you. You didn't deserve it, you didn't—do anything wrong. It's just—it's my fault."

"What?" Taylor asks, confused.

Karlie takes a deep breath, heart wildly beating against her ribcage. It's been a while since she's confessed her feelings to someone, and it's harder than she had thought. "When I apologized to you, last week, I didn't tell you the whole truth. And I want to tell it to you now,"

The way Taylor is staring at her makes her whole world tremble, the ground beneath her feet shaking. But her brows furrow, when she realizes that the ground under her boots is _actually_ shaking. She is about to spill her guts, to tell Taylor she loved her, but then the faint sound of an explosion is heard in the distance, and the expression in both of their eyes changes from sheer anxiousness to pure realization.

"What the fuck—," Karlie mutters under her breath, immediately on her feet. The rebels that had previously left them alone run towards them, fear written all over their features. Taylor stands beside her, scared.

"What the hell is happening?"

Another explosion echoes throughout the mountains, and when the leader looks up at the sky, she sees smoke coming from the South — from _Utkarsh_. "They're attacking Utkarsh," she whispers. She feels Taylor's nimble fingers grip the light blue fabric of her uniform, and when she turns to face her, her heart clenches upon seeing the American look so frightened. "The Royal Army is fucking _bombarding_ Utkarsh."

Taylor's bottom lip trembles. " _What_?" she asks, pure disbelief shining through her voice.

"We have to go," Karlie says through gritted teeth, reaching for the blonde's hand and dragging her towards a technical car. Just as they sit side by side, with the leader behind the steering wheel, the sound of the small radio is heard.

_"To all the rebels that are near Utkarsh, we need all the help we can get! The Royal Army is bombarding us, and their soldiers are killing as many civilians as they can! Please, we're plodding along! We need help!"_

Karlie's foot never leaves the gas pedal, and as she briefly glances at the American, she's worried to see her sapphire eyes brim with tears and her hand shakily covering her mouth. The leader has never seen her so frightened, so terrified of an attack, but then, when Taylor whispers a single name, she realizes; Rue _lives_ in Utkarsh. Rue is Taylor's friend.

Karlie takes a deep breath, and grabs the American's hand over the console. She squeezes it, and when their eyes finally meet, Karlie whispers, "It's going to be okay. I promise."

In under ten minutes, they reach Utkarsh, and as they get off the technical car left by the side of the road, the leader worriedly grips her weapon, because what she sees is utterly terrifying. She's never seen so much blood, so many dead people scattered all over the gravel paths of the town. The ground under their feet shakes, and Karlie grabs Taylor by the arm, pushing her to the ground and behind a cobblestone wall as another bomb explodes. She hides the blonde's body with her own, the rubbles dragged by the wind brushing against their backs. The leader hears the other woman whine and whimper, as a succession of five bombs crushes Utkarsh. Karlie's ears ring, and she hears screams of pain and death as she briefly spots people fly to the ground, lifeless.

When the explosions end, the leader begins to count the time between each succession.

Taylor stands up on wobbly legs, holding onto Karlie's shoulders.

"Chief! Chief!"

When the women turn around, they see Gaurish come their way hurriedly. "Gaurish! What the hell is happening?" Karlie screams over the sound of people combating.

"Pagan Min is bombarding us from the East side of the North. I've already sent five platoons there, and as soon as they eliminate the soldiers that are attacking us, the bombardment will cease!"

"How many of our soldiers have died so far?"

Gaurish frowns. "A lot,"

Karlie nods. "Come on, you said that there are other enemies here, right?"

Gaurish nods. "Yes, go wherever you need to help. There is a succession of five bombs every three minutes!"

"Alright!"

The commander leaves them once again, and when she turns towards Taylor, the American is breathing heavily and her eyes are closed shut. Karlie worriedly places her hands on her shoulders, slightly shaking them before yelling, "Hey, are you okay?"

Taylor weakly nods.

"Alright, stay beside me."

The American shakes her head, and before Karlie can ask her what's wrong, the blonde woman flees. "Taylor! Where are you going?!"

Taylor doesn't turn around, but the leader understands her reply. "I have to find Rue!"

The American ignores the guilt blooming inside her chest, as she once again doesn't respect Karlie's orders. But she needs to know if Rue is okay, if she is _still_ alive. Taylor stumbles upon an enemy, and while fighting him, she mentally counts to 180. She has one hundred and eighty seconds to find Rue, before the next succession is going to overcome the town.

The Royal Army's soldier falls to the ground, lifeless, when she reaches one hundred and thirty nine, and she has only forty one seconds left. Her running is helpless and desperate, as she repeatedly screams the kid's name until her lugs are filled with the smoke coming from the destroyed shacks surrounding her. Her first instinct is to go to the orphanage, which is still miraculously untouched, and she quickly kicks the door down.

"Rue! Rue where are you?!"

Taylor checks every room, from beginning to end, until she finds the young kid — scared to death — in one of the smallest and emptiest rooms of the orphanage. The American coughs, her vision slightly clouding because of the smoke, and falls to her knees beside Rue, who is still surprisingly alive.

"Rue, baby," she whispers. The young kid is curled in a ball, sitting against the corner of the chamber, but immediately finds refuge in Taylor's arms as the blonde hugs her tightly. "I'm here. I'm here,"

She hears the kid softly cry between her arms, and when the American pulls away, she tears up when she sees that Rue is holding onto Fuzz. "Taylor, I'm scared."

"It's going to be okay, darling. It's going to end soon,"

Taylor comfortingly kisses her forehead, and runs her hand through her soft locks of dark hair. They stay wrapped in each other's arms, the young kid whimpering when the ground quakes beneath them and the next round of explosions fills the air. Taylor tries to comfort her with both her words and cuddles, but then she hears Rue scream her name, before the back of a rifle hits her right in the back. It leaves her breathless, the young kid trying to drag her away from the enemy behind her.

When Taylor turns around, she punches the soldier before he could hurt her, and stands on wobbly legs.

"Rue, don't worry, okay? Just stay there," she tells her, looking at her with pain within her sapphire eyes.

When the American faces the Royal Army soldier, blood trickles down her bottom lip. He snickers, screaming, "Do you think you can beat me, bastard, uh?!"

It's pure hand-to-hand combat, and Taylor is confident in her skills as she positions her fists in front of her head and chest. "Come on!" she teases him. The man lunges towards her, but she dodges his blows and pushes him against the wall. Taylor punches him in the abdomen, and hears him groan in pain. However, he's possibly the strongest enemy she's ever faced, and his hands tangle in her ruffled hair and pull. Taylor yelps, feeling tears sting the corner of her eyes, but she holds on; for herself, for _Rue_.

She breaks free from his deathly grip, but then she doesn't see his fist coming, and a punch in her face is enough to render her dizzy. Taylor faintly hears the sound of Rue's desperate voice calling out her name, and weakly throws a punch in the enemy's direction. The Royal Army's soldier easily dodges her terribly aimed blow, and knocks the air out of her lungs with a knee on her abdomen.

Taylor falls to the ground on all fours, and sees the pool of blood forming beneath her mouth as she continues to spit. The iron taste is terrible in her tongue, but she needs to protect Rue. _Even_ if it will cost her life.

Through her dazed eyes, she sees the man make his way towards Rue, obviously with the intention of killing her, but then she crawls towards him and wraps her arms around his ankles, making him lose his balance and fall to the ground. Rue screams and holds onto Fuzz.

Taylor moans in pain, both her chest and abdomen hurting as she straddles his waist and punches his face. The man tries to block her blows but fails miserably, and just as Taylor takes out her pistol from her leather holster, the Royal Army soldier takes this moment of distraction to punch her again.

The American stumbles and falls to the ground, blood staining her chin and teeth as her weapon slips out of her grasp. It is the man's turn to straddle her, and without hesitation, he wraps his filthy hands around her throat, attempting to choke her to death. Taylor whimpers, the air reaching her lungs not enough as she flails her arms. She tries to loosen his grip, but the more he chokes her, the more reality slips out of her reach. The American keeps gasping for air, the skin of her face slowly turning red as not enough oxygen reaches her brain. She almost gives up fighting, but then the hands around her throat vanish, and she quietly hears Rue fearlessly scream, her small hands kicking his back as hard as she can.

Taylor lies there for a moment, catching her breath before sitting up weakly. She sees her enemy push Rue away, her stuffed animal falling from her arms.

And it is then, that her whole world crashes.

The Royal Army soldier quickly takes out his weapon, and before Taylor can stop him, he pulls the trigger, his bullet piercing Rue's heart in the blink of an eye. The American hears her own voice scream, the word, "No!" coming out of her mouth in a desperate manner.

The blonde takes her pistol that lies a few feet away from her, and with all the strength she has left inside her body, she aims for his head and fires before he can realize what is happening.

The Royal Army soldier collapses to the ground, lifeless, and Taylor whispers, "No, no," under her breath, as she crawls towards Rue's small body. "Rue, baby," she softly cries, kneeling beside her. The young kid is bleeding profusely and gasping quietly, wide eyes trained on the low ceiling above them and her white shirt stained with the crimson red color of the hot liquid coming out of her abdomen. As she places her right hand over the wound in order to stop the incessant flow, the rational part of Taylor's brain knows that it is a fruitless attempt at saving her life. She knows that nothing will stop her hemorrhage, nothing will save her at this point, and the fact that she has just a few minutes left with the little kid makes her eyes brim with tears. The American cries, chest tight with pain from the loss she's about to experience, as she meets Rue's frightened scare. The sound of distant shots and explosions fill their ears, but Taylor only cares about the little girl right now.

"Taylor—,"

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here,"

Rue grips her forearm, and Taylor grabs her other hand. "Why are you crying?" the girl innocently asks. Taylor lets out a hollow laugh, more tears freely streaming down her face.

"Don't worry about me, baby," the American says through her tears, throat dry and occupied by an immense lump of sorrow. "I'm here. I'm never leaving you. I'm not going anywhere,"

"Do you promise?"

Taylor nods quickly and kisses her hand. "I promise," her voice shakes. "I promise you, Rue."

"Taylor?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I want—Fuzz."

The American remembers the stuffed animal, and without disconnecting their linked hands, she reaches for the small white bear and places it against Rue's heaving chest. The young girl holds onto it while Taylor caresses her face. "It's going to be okay. I'm always going to be here. I'm never leaving you," the American keeps saying, crying softly. Rue reaches up to dry her tears, and her blood stains Taylor's cheeks. The ocean raining from the blonde's eyes intensifies, as she closes them and lets herself be cuddled by Rue's gentle fingers.

"Don't cry,"

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I just—," a sob breaks her sentence in half. "I love _you_ , Rue. I _love_ you,"

Rue smiles weakly, her skin becoming paler and paler. She begins to tremble, and Taylor knows that she's about to lose her forever. "I love you too, Taylor. But—I'm going to be with my mom, and with my father. I _will_ be okay."

Taylor opens her mouth to let out a distraught sob. "I know you will be okay, baby. I'm just—going to miss you."

"I'm going to _miss_ you too."

Taylor kisses her forehead with trembling lips.

"Can you promise me something?"

"I'll do _whatever_ you want, baby."

Rue smiles, and she looks down at her stuffed animal. "I'm sad because I can't bring Fuzz with me. Can you take him with you? Will you take care of _him_ for _me_?"

Taylor cries harder, but nods nevertheless. "I will, baby. I will take care of Fuzz."

Rue nods, and she squeezes Taylor's hand harder. She takes a sharp intake of breath, and Taylor stares at her pained face. "I'm scared, Taylor."

"I know," the American whispers, kissing her forehead once again. She tries to be as close to Rue as she can, wanting to protect her from everything bad in the world. "I know, baby. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Rue whimpers and looks up at Taylor. "Taylor," she whimpers.

The American forces a smile on her face, wanting to comfort the little girl as much as possible and while she can. "It's okay. It will be okay. Everything will be okay, don't worry, Rue." She knows the girl is holding on as much as she can, she can see it in the way she's forcing air through her chapped lips. Taylor's trembling mouth parts to say, "You can go, Rue. Fuzz and _I_ will be okay. You can go."

Rue smiles, and then utters her last word; the name of her stuffed animal. "Fuzz," it's a faint whisper, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a slow exhale. Taylor watches as her eyes become lightless, her soul quickly ascending to the sky above them as her grip on the blonde's hand vanishes along with her life. The American lets out a soundless cry, her hand caressing her hair as she places her forehead against Rue's chest. When she doesn't hear the sound of her rhythmic heartbeat, she cries louder, the sobs coming out of her bloodstained lips louder than the fading bombs. "Rue," she whimpers against her cold body. "Rue, _come back_ ,"

She hugs the lifeless little girl, and painfully cries against her chest. The ache inside her heart and soul is worse than the one she feels in her bones and muscles, and it's a kind of ache that can't be treated with band aids or medications.

Taylor doesn't know how much time slips right through her fingers, but then, the explosions finally cease, the calm after the storm overcomes Utkarsh, and the only things she hears are her muffled cries and distant, hurried footsteps.

Karlie walks through the door, mouth parted as the scene unfolding before her shatters her heart into million pieces. Behind her, stand Sanjay and Ashawary, the three of them breathing heavily. The leader purses her lips into a sorrowful frown, as she watches Taylor's kneeling and bruised body shake with the force of her loud and heartbreaking sobs. She sees the American clutch a stuffed animal, her friend's name coming out of her mouth in a heart wrenching voice. Karlie is painfully reminded of her brother's death, how she had cried on top of his lifeless body and how devastating it had been. She wants to help Taylor, she wants to ease some of her pain, and she wants to let her know that she's not alone; that she doesn't have to grieve Rue's death alone. The rebel almost steps over the rubbles, but then Sanjay grabs her by the shoulder. When their eyes meet, he shakes his head, as if to say, _leave her alone._

Karlie looks back at Taylor, getting a glimpse of her tear stained face, and she tears up. Then, she kneels beside the door, and crosses her hands over her knees.

And as she listens to the American cry, the sound of the rain outside hitting the roof above their heads, she can't help but think that all the angels in heaven are crying with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate :)


	25. Taylor's Journal, July 2020

TAYLOR'S JOURNAL, JULY 2020  
**Utkarsh**

  
_Rue is dead._


End file.
